TV based itinerary

Plan for Christmas Day (terrestial telly only, and based on the Scotland times, so it might be out for regular viewers):

Actively avoid TV until 15.00. At 15.00, disconnect the eletricity just in case the TV turns itself on. Possibly sneakily watch Channel 4 just in case it's another Ali G.

15.10:
Watch: A Shark Tale on BBC1. Maybe read a book as well.
or, if you must, watch Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Askakabanana on ITV1.

16.30:
Watch: Wallace and Gromit: Curse of the Were Rabbit on BBC1. Reminisce about the shorts.

(possibly record The Truth about Carols at 17.00 on BBC2. It might be interesting)

18.00:
Watch: Dr Who on BBC1. You have to. It's not Christmas otherwise and it's always got vital plotlines.

19.00: Now this is a tricky one. You have a 5 channel choice:
Watch: Blackadder's Christmas Carol on BBC2.
Avoid: Strictly Come Dancing on BBC1.
Avoid: Coronation Street on ITV1
Avoid: Channel 4 nicely sidestepping Christmas altogether, although if you have a particular aversion to Blackadder (for which you probably need medical attention), The Nativity Decoded at 19.30 might be interesting.
Avoid: Memoirs of a Geisha on Five. Yawn. Remove Five from your channel list in case you return to it at all that evening.

20.00: Probably a good time to eat. Disconnect electricity (candlelight is nice) and block up ears in case of hearing someone else's TV.
Avoid: Eastenders on BBC1. Christmas doesn't have to be spoilt.
Avoid: Dad's Army.
Avoid: Dancing on Ice at Christmas on ITV1. Each of those words makes the others worse. Dancing: not great. On ice: marvellous, even less skill. At Christmas: with added tinsel.
Watch: Shrek the Halls on BBC3 if you missed it on Christmas Eve.

20.30:
Watch: Wallace and Gromit: A Matter of Loaf and Death on BBC1. A new short! Hurrah for Christmas!
Avoid: anything else. Come on! Wallace and Gromit!

21.00: disconnect electricity again. Have pudding.
Avoid: Eastenders on BBC1. You won't care, having had the sense to avoid the first one.

21.30:
Watch: The Royle Family on BBC1. Oh yeah! A new one! Hurrah!

22.30:
Watch: Blackadder Rides Again on BBC1. It's Blackadder! Nothing else matters.

After that, read a book. Eat mince pies. Get an early night.