Home button blues

Argh. The joys of being an iPhone user. I'm not sure why exactly I am on my second iPhone, I seem to genuinely believe I would be less happy with another phone and so I had to replace my useless 3G with an iPhone 4. Excellent phone, very happy, love my apps and all is good.

When it works.

I have a deep distrust of Apple and their updates. The 3G was unusable slow once iOS 4 came out. See all these lovely features! They will break your phone! The time came to upgrade and I said "no, I don't like the fact that I have to commit to two years with a phone that will undoubtably be unusable before the two years are up" and meant to buy a Sony Ericsson. And then I got an iPhone 4 and threw myself at the mercy of Apple periodically breaking devices so you upgrade.

We were happy together until yesterday. My unresponsive home button does seem to be a software issue because a number of tricks can restore it temporarily. If it is a hardware issue, which is a possibility, then there are a couple of issues which could certainly contribute to the button developing a fault. Apple have this obsession with minimalism and definitely place style over function in some respects. One sole button is a lunatic choice. Apple previously showed this genius with their one-buttoned mouse.

The home button does everything and so it is used constantly. Also, there is no cover over the power inlet, so it is unprotected and open to fluff, damp and little bits of damaging debris. A little cover, as featured on most non-Apple devices, would protect it, but it would make the device less sleek and would interrupt the smooth lines. So, no cover.

Some googlage revealed the following tricks to restore the functionality to the home button:

1) open a native application, hold down the power button until "slide to power off appears". Release the power button and gently press the home button until the home screen returns.

2) close all apps. Some apps seem to cause this. In my case it seems to be Safari.

3) run the camera app in the background at all times.

4) admit defeat and turn on the on screen home button. Settings>general>accessibility options>accessibility button on.

1) works for me, but the problem comes back.

2) and 3) don't work for me

4) makes me despair. It does work but is annoying onscreen, and raises the question of why Apple saw the need to provide such an option rather than fixing the actual problem. I fail to see how it aids accessibility so should be listed under "Usability options for things that break".

I think I need to defect to Android finally. In 9 months when I can...

12 days of iTunes

I am not loving iTunes. I don't usually love iTunes much on account of it being the guffest piece of software ever to exist, but the non-love is expanding.

Each Christmas they do their "12 days of Christmas" giveaway; every day for 12 days, starting boxing day, they give away a free something. Lovely, but it is highly possible that it is not done out of altruism. No, really.

I have a 16Gb iPhone 4. This is plenty for my normal use, for the number of photos and songs etc I choose to carry. I don't have any videos. That's me, personally, not getting any. I bought a tv episode once, watched it, deleted it. I am very wary of iCloud so I have that backing up my photos only. Distrust distrust.

And so I see that iTunes are offering me a free episode or seven of a tv show or nine. In HD! Brilliant! 1.5Gb a pop. The songs that they give away all come with videos and look, I seem to have run out of space. Hmm. How can I overcome this? What could I do to give myself more room? Maybe a new product? An iPad maybe, or a nice big iPod? Maybe a Mac too?

To accommodate all the things I don't want. That iTunes give me and dupe me into downloading them by making them free for one day only - but what if I wanted it later? I would surely die if I hadn't got it for free! On one day they gave me a song I'd actually already bought at great personal angst (I don't often buy new stuff). On another day they gave me sonic racing which is marvellous (and very mario kart-y). I like that. Ssshh. I dutifully downloaded the Top Gear episodes I won't watch. I have now deleted these. I resisted today's, it was a song I dislike. Sense reigned briefly.

I have had it pointed out to me by Grumpypants that I could download to my computer. I shall not be doing this on account of the following:

My computer is a piece of junk and probably has less free space than my phone.

My computer is a piece of junk and I only use it under duress. Indeed, I will use my kindle to access Internet sites that insist of loading the mobile version on the phone. The Kindle is better than the computer, not least because it can't run iTunes.

If I did want to move anything to my phone, I would have to connect the phone to the computer, and I don't do that for fear of the Bad Things that happen when the phone syncs with iTunes. And a reluctance to spend 16 hours doing the sync.

So. Thanks for Sonic Racing. I won't be buying any Apple products to run it on. Unless I come into some money. In which case I probably would buy a lot of Apple products. Which renders this...

Finding Maemo

Apple are scumbags. They really are. Suing everyone else, even though they pinched stuff from Nokia themselves. Huh. Not content with the fact that NOTHING comes in the box and no add on is compatible with two devices, they provide a mega phone with blatantly obvious features missing so they can add them to future products. Diddy camera. No MMS. Pah.

Nokia are marvellous. They made phones what they are. They don't compromise, they didn't like Android so they produced Maemo. The N900 is a beast indeed. When my contract runs out in May I should show my support for the mighty Nokia and give no more pennies to the evil Apple. Either go for the N900 or accept that I'm skint and get myself a very inexpensive and does everything I need X6.

Except...

The X6 is Symbian. Old news. And Grumpypants IS getting a free Nexus One. The N900 is the first Maemo device. Danger danger. New Nokias tend to be buggy. And there's very, very few apps. Which is the biggest selling point of the iPhone. I likes my apps. I likes my iPhone. It's lovely. It doesn't do all the things it should but it has splendid apps and I love it. It is my baby.

I know. I dithered and hmmed and ended up with an iPhone 3G. I'm going to end up with an iPhone 4. I know I am. And if I'm selling my soul and giving my money to the Evil Man, then I may as well hanker after an iMac some more.

Bad me.

The flaws of the iPhone

In light of much iPhone adoration, following the arrival (almost) of the iPad, I feel it only just to point out that failings of my beloved.

The lack of the ability to run things in the background is ridiculous. You can't, for example, be logged into Google Talk and get notified if someone wants to talk. No, you have to sit with just Google Talk open. You can play music in the background, but then everything is s-l-o-w.

It is very slick and lovely to look at, but only having one button puts an awful lot of strain on that one button.

It doesn't have a homepage despite the fact that it claims to. It has a display of apps. It doesn't have a customisable page with links to apps. You can't put your own background on. You can't have diary reminders or widgets on your homepage, because it's not a homepage. You can rearrange the icons for your apps. Woop.

It doesn't have a removable battery. Which means it doesn't have a replaceable battery.

It is very expensive and all the accessories are very expensive. In true Apple style, accessories for one model tend not to work on the next model. There is no good reason for this other than the fact that this makes Apple money.

The camera. Why so rubbish? Oh that's right, Steve Jobs reckoned people wouldn't want a camera. Right then. No secondary forward facing camera, no zoom, no flash, piddly MP, no features at all.

I have to complain about the fact that MMS and cut & paste were only there after OS 3 came out. Why????

There's the needing iTunes and iTunes not liking Windows thing, but I already complained about that.

Minor quibble: the autocorrect is infuriating. Reading for reading, and correcting all its to it's is ANNOYING. I have however finally worked out how to do caps lock. It's not that difficult: double click shift. Duh.

I have to stop now. I feel disloyal.

These failings make the iPad, which has the same - and indeed more - failings, a big disappointment. But I already said that. Many times.

The iPhone is stunning and quite wonderful to use. I have used it as my computer for almost a year and I have survived happily. But it has its faults and I can admit them.

Sob!! Back to iLove.

Apple iPad - a nobody's opinion

Jumping on the bandwagon here as everyone* else is blogging the same thing, but Apple sent me the blurb about their new tablet this morning and so it's on my mind.

* not actually everyone. Some people.

The iPhone is quite probably the greatest thing I have ever owned. I love almost everything about it. There are two big things I don't love:

1) it relies heavily on iTunes, you have to have a computer alongside it.

2) iTunes isn't exactly happy on a PC. I know it would work bette on a Mac. I suspect that's not an accident.

So the new iPad. It does (almost) everything the iPhone/iPod Touch does. But it's big.









It still needs a computer and iTunes, so it doesn't replace the computer. I had a moment of joy when I mistakenly thought it was a proper computer and I could ditch the iTunes/Windows discord for a possible price. No. It does what the iPhone does. Except it doesn't make calls. The 3G option is data only, it's not a phone. So it's not quite as good as an iPhone. It's just big.

You can watch TV and videos and so on on the lovely screen. Much like a television then. Or a computer. Woop. It has HD, which of course is unheard of in a television.

Ok. I admit, I do get the attraction. Especially if you don't currently own an iPhone. The ability to connect anywhere is great. But why is is just a big iPhone? Why isn't it a proper tablet computer? Why doesn't it stand alone and do things a computer does rather than being another companion to your Mac? Yes, Mac, Windows users, like me, don't get full functionality. It does, mostly work, but sometimes it just has a moment and you know it's all down to its disgust at being operated through a PC.

It's something extra, another thing to add to your gadgets. The main benefit being the big screen, but I'd be inclined to go for the pocket sized iPhone and for the vast number of times you want to watch something away from a television, a small screen probably does. If there's a television then a line out cable's a lot cheaper. Or if you want a laptop then a laptop's probably a good bet if you can overcome the hideousness of a real keyboard and actually being a computer.

So. Apple iPad. Like the iPhone but big. Anyone who doesn't already own an iPhone isn't going to spend money on a big iPhone. This is for Mac lovers with more money than sense. To complete your Mac collection. Yes, I would. I have even less money than sense sadly.

Overuse of the word "big" in this blog was necessary. It's the point. If you want some actual detail just sit there and it will infiltrate your consciousness, it's everywhere. Bandwagon and all...

And another day again

Well, it is now midnight. Exactly so according to the post options. Stinky bad day is finished. And people were generally nice which I must admit and grudgingly accept that it's not all that bad. Positivity back now. For at least an hour.

I am totally ready for my exams: I have four pens, three mechanical pencils, one eraser, one ruler, one scientific calculator, one large notebook for notes, past papers, course notes. All I need to do now is, er, read the notes and do the past papers. No problem!

I have previously read the notes. It's not quite as bad as it sounds. I just don't remember any of it.

Going back to previous ponderages:

1) I have the new issue of Psychologies magazine. I'm kind of scared to open it as I am totally duty bound to love every word of this month's issue after last month's foot in blog incident. I really liked an article in Easy Living by Shane Watson and I can't remember a word of what it was about. So easily unimpressed, so fleetingly impressed. Fairness decrees that I should praise an article this month - and it should really be one from Psychologies, unfortunately as I'm scared of that particular magazine now, I can only open it under the cover of darkness and then I won't be able to read it - but that would go unnoticed. Ho hum. I'm going to turn into one of these people that goes out of their way to experience terrible things so they can be funny about them. Well, I suppose that's marginally better than doing nothing at all.

2) iTunes and I are no longer happy together. I think I am being punished for my lack of Macness but until Apple charge £32 for a new Mac, I will continue to be Macally challenged. To indicate its displeasure, iTunes thought it would be a laugh to lose all the music files. Can't find, can't find. To make it look better, the resident boffin renamed all the files and actually ensured that iTunes was telling the truth, which filled me with immense joy and gratitude. I readded the files and then ran a script to delete the old ones. Nothing. Re-adding the files involves the analysis of gapless playback data, which takes approximately 72 hours. I would like to pick the "don't bother, I never ever will want gapless playback" option, but no, you have no choice. So I have done this three times, the third time after deleting the old library. iTunes is now happy(ish). But it's a new library, so it has to overwrite the songs on the iPhone. Of course. Because it would be useful to add to it, wouldn't it, and it's not like anyone ever uses more than one computer, or gets a new computer or anything like that. I have 4 of my 5 allocated computers used up, 2 of which are dead and gone and one of which is this one but it doesn't know that as it had been Linuxed by the boffin between then and now. It has been adding 367 songs, which isn't a huge amount, for 2 HOURS. It's connected directly by a wire into the USB port of the computer so I can't even blame the slow hub or network connection.

I get it. I need a Mac. Ok? I won't be getting one for a while.

Where's my magazine? Seven steps to make this my year?
Step 1) Overcome fear of magazine and open it.