It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life... and I'm feeling meh

Ok, it's not a new day, dawn or life, and it's not quite new year any more either. But I haven't blogged in a while, no, really, and so I feel compelled to say:

A very merry Christmas to all the bots out there! And I do hope all the legions of real people anxiously awaiting my latest bloggage had a most splendid Christmas. And indeed, anyone else. Them too. A really happy one.

Christmas for me was a bit spoiled by the illness of everyone, but the children had a brilliant time and were more or less well on the big day. Poor grumpypants had tonsillitis and couldn't eat or particularly stay out of bed. Most everyone was frugal this year, myself included, which puzzles me slightly as to why it took 4 years of recession before this kicked in. Grumpypants was most generous; I received a Chromebook, which is quite brilliant and shall be blogged about in due course. This was on top of the Kindle Touch I received as an early Christmas present in October. 

Yes I know, patience would have yielded a Paperwhite, but no Chromebook. So I win really, I have a shiny new Touch that does the job just grand, and a Chromebook. Way. How many times can I mention the Chromebook? Many.

So that was Christmas. Me being spoilt mostly. I'm not holding out for much for my birthday on Friday. I may pretend the Kindle was a birthday present.

Happy new year also. May 2013 be bountiful. I type 2014 first almost every time I type the year. I'm obviously not anticipating a good year and want this one out of the year.

According to my 2012 new year spraff, which can be revisisted here, I undertook the following for 2012:

* Finish my dissertation and finally get the MSc I've been doing since 2007.
* Lose the baby belly. 
* Move to a house that's big enough for 5 of us. 

No, no and no, although I did submit the dissertation today so that just missed. Although it was a big bit rubbish so may need redone. 

The other two, well, no go. 

The baby belly is marginally smaller, having toyed with various fixes, the most successful of which was a low carb diet, which was surprisingly easy, effective, solved all my niggly ailments, and which gave me agonising pains that may well be gallstones. So we're back on the carbs, with the accompanying belly, stecky joints and perpetual hunger. I may one day master the art of moderation.

We're still in the same old 2 bed flat. We have lived here for ten years this year, seven of which with two children and a bit over a year with a third. She's still in our room, is ever accumulating belongings and it is a Bit of a Problem.

So for this year, things are quite simple resolution wise:

1) lose the belly that's hung around too long to be called a baby belly
2) move house
3) learn the art of moderation

Anything else just seems a bit ambitious. I can't think of anything else I achieved last year. Ooh, other than successfully icing the Christmas cake with royal icing. The year before I had a daughter who I had long hoped for but neither planned nor expected. This year I plan to enjoy her as much as I can before she grows up at a rate of astonishing swiftness. Her brothers turned seven last week. Seven??!! I'm not sure how that happened. Yes, I know. Passage of time, constantly, and all that, it's a turn of phrase. Gad. My imaginary reader is so pedantic!

2011 - had a daughter
2012 - iced a cake

Doesn't quite compare. Although the latter required skill, the former just happened all by itself and all I had to do was not smoke, drink or eat swordfish.

So. I do intend to blog more but I always intend to blog more, except that time back then when I used to blog more.

We'll see what 2013 brings, and perhaps find out why I'm so keen to deny it.

Kindling

Hmph. Today is the publication date for Jenny Colgan's latest book, "Welcome to Rosie Hopkins' Sweetshop of Dreams". I have pre-ordered it, which means it will arrive on my Kindle automatically. It's not arrived yet and it is 1 hour into today. Shocking.

Edit: it arrived before 2am.

I adore the pre-order feature. There are certain authors whose books I will purchase as close to publication as possible and so to have them just arrive is marvellous. Amazon do this with actual books also, but you are then at the mercy of the postal system. I prefer instant results.

I also have this wistful thought that I will forget a pre-order and just find a book arriving on my Kindle one day. This hasn't happened yet due to overexcitement about publication dates. I'm hoping it happens in June with Freya North's "Rumours" but this is extremely unlikely.

Kindle news: the Kindle touch is to be released in the UK on April 27. Although I am unlikely to get one unless some money comes out of my umpteen attempted money making schemes, I am excited about this. The lack of touchscreen is the one thing I don't like about my Kindle, which is the 2010 one that is now called Kindle keyboard.

Perpetual use of my iPhone means non touch screens seem useless. I have on more than one occasion uselessly pressed monitors screens in anticipation of a response. Incidentally, I have tried touchscreen laptops and been distinctly underwhelmed.

In short, I prefer touchscreens and having to press a physical clicky button instead of swiping to turn a page doesn't please me. Admittedly, a click is infinitely easier than turning a page in a real book, but that is irrelevant now in light of the Kindle.

Other Kindle news: I wholeheartedly recommend "I'd Sooner Starve" by Mark Sinclair, which is an astute and very funny account of a man's experience of establishing and running a delicatessen. I got this for free, I'd have happily paid. It is reassuring, after my last unfunny foray into free literature, to discover that my sense of humour is not missing, I can still chortle at well written observational wit.

And finally: you can just upload your own book to Amazon and start selling it via the Kindle store. Just like that. How very exciting! One day. One day.

Free to a good home

Free stuff is always nice; something free is worth a try based on the principle of nothing being lost if the thing in question is awful. Should the free something be valuable in content or use, then huzzah!

Principles of clutter are not being considered. We're going to pretend I'm not disappearing under mountains of free, or nearly free, things I did not need and only have because of their lack of expense. We are definitely not going to consider the not free items that were purchased unnecessarily in order to procure the free stuff that was offered with it. Especially not Clinique eyeliners. No.

Anyway. That's not the point.
Yes, I have one. Ssshh.

My Kindle is one of my most precious possessions. I adore books and own many many many of them, to the detriment of my minimalistic ideal. The Kindle is small and neat, and cannot be left in an untidy pile no matter how hard you try. It stores gazillions of e books, as well as putting any other e books you own tidily in Amazon's cloud (the UK version of which I am mystified by as the limitations of same are the given reason for no Kindle Fire here; not sure why this affects the Touch. Different subject, closing bracket now).

One joy of the Kindle is the free books. Totally free. The classics, which are out of copyright, are mostly free, although not every title is available in a free version. "Great Expectations", for example, does not have a free edition, although most of Dickens' other books can be freely bought/downloaded/whatever it is you do with Amazon content.

Amazon also have daily deals, where they have books reduced to a bargainous price, and they periodically offer certain books for free, or 99p, for a limited time. Christopher Hitchens' "God is not Great" was 99p the day after he passed away.

The best feature of Amazon's Kindle shop is the ability to get ("get" is Amazon's term) free samples of any book, which are 10% of the book and can allow you to see if you like it. This is brilliant and avoids most regrettable purchases. Not available on free titles, for obvious reasons.

One day earlier this week, approximately Wednesday I think, I was perusing the free titles in order to get something to read, because the 50 other unread titles on my Kindle didn't appeal. It turned out that some of the books by author Terry Ravenscroft were free that day. I chose "Dear Coca Cola" which is a collection of letters sent to customer services and their responses. I was assured by the reviews and the blurb that this was laugh-out-loud funny.

The book, which has an assurance at the start that all letters are genuine, consists of letters sent to customer service departments and the responses, if any were received.

Some of the customer service departments replied patiently, some to two or more subsequent letters. If a response was received then the author would respond in turn with a more outrageous reply until there were no more replies, noted with "No reply!"

Kindly and accommodating replies were treated with derision and slightly ludicrous scenarios were detailed.

I didn't laugh, except at one poem from a customer service representative. It's just not funny. I found him more and more irritating and found myself routing for the customer service staff.

Which is an alien feeling indeed.

I investigated further, as Terry Ravenscroft has excellent credentials as a comedy writer, and most of the reviews tell of crying with laughter. Maybe I was just in a cruddy mood? I downloaded a (free) sample of one of Mr Ravenscroft (T)'s novels, entitled 'I'm in Heaven' to see if I liked his writing. Not bad, not amusing. That's not down to the subject matter of death, but due to a lack of wit.

Or maybe it IS me. There's oodles of comedy that I simply don't "get" despite the majority of others thinking it hilarious. I don't find Catherine Tate on her show funny, and I don't understand why the Only Fools and Horses Chandelier sketch, or the Fork Handles Two Ronnies sketch, are held in such high regard.

I don't dislike comedy, far from it. Most of my tv watching and my DVD collection are comedy based. I go to see comedians where other people go to see bands. It's a big part of my life.
Nor do I object to winding people up or being rude to people.
Or maybe I do mind. I could never see the appeal of Paul Kaye's "Dennis Pennis", nor did I enjoy Mrs Merton. Yet I find Steve Coogan's Alan Partridge hilarious. Basil Fawlty is the rudest and funniest character ever created.

Winding up stupid people can be funny, and adopting a persona of someone that doesn't know any better and is subsequently rude can be funny. Alan Partridge and David Brent of the Office are both trying to be popular, not rude, they just get it wrong. Brilliantly They are also fictional, as are their interactions, which does help a bit.

What isn't funny is being facetious and winding up good people who don't deserve it.
The issue with Mr Ravenscroft (T)'s book isn't the initial letters, it is the quite horrid subsequent replies to people who have taken the time to write to him. That's cringemongering, and
the whole thing does not carry enough wit to overcome the distaste.

If I found his style more amusing, more Bill Bryson-esque perhaps, and he had stopped with his initial letter and any reply, then this might be what it claims.

As a final thought, imagine my joy to discover on my actual bookshelf a previously unopened book entitled "Dear Customer Services", by Terry Ravenscroft, purchased sometime between 2008 and now. I am actually an idiot, for it is the same book by another name. I might read the final 31% and see if it improves...

And the news that isn't is...

So.
I love my job. It's ace. I've been there a month, the rot will set in soon I'm sure. For now: happy chapette. Free time is now zilch, as I've gone all domesticated and joined a cleaning cult.

Explanations may be forthcoming. They may also not be.

Boys are all settled in at school and being ever so grown up. And astonishingly clever. Well, not THAT astonishing, being mine and all, but impressive all the same.

New most needed: a Kindle.
Yes, I have the Kindle app. I like. It's not so kind on the eyes. Yes, an iPad would probably be better. They cost a LOT more and are less handbag friendly. Oh, and the Kindle isn't made by Apple and so it may still work after a year. Grrrr. Ongoing 3G trauma. The general solution appears to be: upgrade to an iPhone 4.

I quite like the Sony Ericsson X10 Mini. It would do my head in due to its lack of iPhoneness within about an hour, I think, but a concerted perusal of phones yielded but one contender for anything beyond "meh": the X10 Mini. Not Pro, which is less Mini and loses the appeal. Keyboard Schmeyboard. If it gets Froyo, and I am such an Apple deserter for even knowing what that is.

I think my 3G operating issues are punishment for siding with the Androids. iOS 4.01 was unusable. 4.1 was hunky dory for a bit. Now: a bit (big bit) SLOWWWWW. But usuable, if sigh inducing. Number of sighs is directly proportional to desire for an N8. Oops. I know.

So. Therein lies all anyone would need to know about the Kindle.

I do like books. Lots and lots and lots: they have words in them. I like to go back to them as and when I feel like it. I have 1000s of them, and that's after serious culling (to charity, I will not bin a book, not even a Michael Moore). They take up a lot of room and have the following failings:
They're not that easy to hold.

If you want a book asap, you have to get a giant format (hardback or pointlessly big paperback). If you want to take such book anywhere while reading it, you need a small suitcase to carry it in.

They go yellow.

They take up a lot of room.

They cost more in print format than in ebook format.
Yes. That is correct.


All hail Amazon. Which we have been doing since ever they started but really, huzzah! The Kindle is (probably) a marvel.

Other reasons to love Amazon: Universal Wish Lists. Marvellously fantastic for deluded moments. You Never Know.
And, more realistically, useful for spouses who have "no idea".

This is (almost) the best time of year. Digging out warm clothes, dark evenings, the anticipation of Halloween and "goodness ME the shops have got Christmas in very early this year. Of course, I've started buying already..." and a stupendously grand TV schedule. Autumn TV rocks. I love it all, that fizzing almost about to think about being winter time of year. Brilliant.

I am particularly jubilant as I wore my down filled jacket today. I heart that.

Voici. Every thought I've had since last time I thought. All for you to enjoy.

A bientot. It is time for the sleeping.