Kitchen devils

In the never ending kitchen appliance saga, which has been ongoing for the last seven years and which has seen a new cooker, a new washing machine, a new fridge door, two new microwaves and a new panel for the dishwasher, we have a new fault. We have a care plan for our kitchen appliances (best ever monthly spend) so my old mate the repairman will be returning tomorrow.

What now? I hear you ask excitedly.

The dishwasher door falls open part way through a cycle. Which isn't all that useful on an appliance that relies on being watertight. The door is currently held shut with parcel tape, following in the manner of the fridge door and car bonnet before it. Along with many other temporary fixes that became permanent. And indeed anything else that ever needs taped, because parcel tape doesn't hide the way Sellotape does.

It does hide. It can become irrevocably lost halfway through wrapping a parcel. I don't know how, the sock gremlins must be involved somehow.

I hope it's a simple fault. If the dishwasher is condemned then I fear I may have to face a dishwasherless life, and that is quite terrifying. I would have to fling myself mercilessly to my parents who thankfully see a dishwasher as a necessity.

I don't have a tumble dryer. I'm not all bad and we do use a lot of dishes. Yes, I could. I don't want to.

My husband pointed out disingenuously that if we are to be dishwasherless, I would have to stand and wash dishes, which did not merit a response.

The repairman is to come tomorrow afternoon, not between the hours of 14.50 and 15.20 as that's school run time. And sense would indicate that arriving at 14.45 isn't all that useful.

I have my money on a 15.00 arrival.

How to lose a kitchen appliance

Dishwasher was *fixed* on Monday. *Fixed* being: it was made to work by tipping some water out. Reason unestablished as to water - no leak found.

Wednesday: dishwasher software crashes at end of cycle. Engineer* called out again.

*Local Scottish Gas Homecare engineer, who comes out for free as part of a seemingly great scheme.
Engineer who has to date:
1) come to test the electrics and fused the fridge.
2) come to fix the fridge and broken the door off.
3) sawed the door in half so we could use the fridge while a new one was ordered. Ummm. Seal?
4) come to fix a leaky washing machine, found nothing and necessitated...
5) come to reattach the belt knocked off the washing machine.

And most recently:
6) not fixed the dishwasher.

So, the joy on seeing him arriving is immense.

Conclusion by him: dishwasher is leaking into base and activating float switch safety cut out.

Conflicting evidence:
The dishwasher isn't leaking.
The software is bonkers and has been iffy for months.

Suggestion by me that it may be software problem.

Ridiculed.

Two hours spent not finding a leak. Much bumbling done. Random parts ordered to fix the leak. The computer is contained in a replaceable unit with a massive crack in it. Replacement would seem rather obvious.

But I'm not a Scottish Gas engineer.

Thankfully.

Donations to the New Dishwasher fund welcome.