Freakishly normal

So it seems that September is the month for two mighty endeavours to be undertaken by us ordinary people. Should we manage to achieve these wonderful feats, we can raise money for our chosen charities.

Firstly we have to try and remain sober for the whole of September. No alcohol at all, and so the sponsor money should roll in.

Secondly, we should try and walk 10,000 steps. I assume this is per day and not during September as I'm pretty sure that most people would manage the latter without leaving the house ever. I also assume it's every day and not just the once.

My mind is boggling. Not drinking for a month is something that needs encouragement? Really? It's that hard?
And how many people don't walk 10,000 steps?

Naturally, as someone that barely drinks and who now has an epic school run (a 40 minute round trip and I'm not not not taking the car), I can be smug. No, I will be smug, I'm not entirely sure anyone will appreciate the smugness so some internal smuggery is required. Can I give myself consent to be smug? Well, I shall. Just between you and me, dear imaginary reader. I so should have been sponsored not to smoke. Too late now.

I'd suggest giving up coffee for a month, but I'm not sure anyone in the vicinity would survive that. I may just donate to charity.

Sobriety

Gah. Gah. Why is drinking so necessary?

Me, I hardly drink. I do on occasion get so spectacularly drunk that I make an amazing impression and so each and every person that I know has a relatively recent image of me in a state of total inebriation and humiliation. I am awful, quite dreadful, when I am drunk, and it is at least in part due to this that, as I say, I hardly drink. The last drink I had, I forget for a start, I think it was at the beginning of June. No reason, I just haven't had a drink since then. I've not felt the urge to. I do get accused of being drunk any time I'm in a lively mood or being particularly cheerful, which is either a nod to my natural exuberance, or an indication of my normal levels of grouchiness.

There's the whole transport issue as well. Living in a place such as Kirkcaldy, nights out often take place in a far distant place and so travel homewards is an issue. Driving to the place in question easily solves this for yourself and up to 4 other people. Drinking and driving is not an option, obviously, so it's fine to be the driver in this situation, although people often sympathise with you, you poor sod not able to get off your tits, here, have a Coke on me. But if you choose to not drink just because you want to save money or simply don't feel like a drink, then is that not possibly a sensible thing to do? I hate the assumption that I must be ill or pregnant if I choose not to drink at a social occasion. I don't *need* alcohol, as the self designated driver I have had many enjoyable nights completely sober, and I most definitely do not need to justify my decision. I don't have to explain why I'm not smoking, why do I have to have a reason to be sober?

Drink is responsible for all manner of incidents that simply would not have happened to sober people. Wine is lovely, but it's a lot of trouble. Don't make me feel like a freak because I'm not doing something I'm not very good at.

DO NOT GET ME STARTED ON THE NEED TO DRINK BECAUSE I'M SCOTTISH!!!