Strangers

Today I was standing on Dunfermline High Street, which quite possibly isn't called Dunfermline High Street, but it's the main street and it's in Dunfermline so I'm going with that and may approach the council to make it official if it's not already called that. This is like virtually any other High Street, pedestrianised and plenty wide enough to pass people on.

So, while standing (still) next to the cash machine my friend was using, I didn't exactly expect to be knocked off my feet by someone walking straight into me. Basic sense dictates that if someone is standing in a space, you can't actually walk through that particular space without causing some sort of disruption. But still, I got walked straight into, glowered at and then something incomprehensible was muttered at me that was quite definitely not "sorry". Because I have manners, I automatically said sorry myself, because that's what normal people do upon colliding with someone regardless of blame, and got rewarded with a look of utter disgust at the audacity of thinking that a mere apology could compensate for my being in their path.

I can only assume that the person in question had walked that exact line every day at that time for 45 years and did not expect to find someone blocking their progress. Understandable for them to be upset really, I'm not even from Dunfermline, and there I was, waltzing in, standing on their pavement, using their air etc. I am actually quite ashamed now.

Manners, or some more about myself

I was looking back at Andrew Collins' (yes, him again) blog entries and found his Manners Manifesto.

I think I do ok, here are the headings:

1. Smile.
2. Say please and thank you.
3. Let that car in.
4. Be friendly to strangers.
5. Help old people off or on the bus.
6. Buy the Big Issue and give some change to the homeless.
7. Be polite to Jehovah's Witnesses.
8. Never swear at people on the other end of helplines.
9. Never, ever drop litter.
10. Leaving bags of stuff outside charity shops when they're closed? Come on!
11. Talk to people at the check-out.
12. Don't swear when there are kids about.

I do most of those, just because that's the way I am.

I smile at people, although I do worry it's insincere. I'm normally in a super grumpy mood, see someone and smile at them. It does make you feel better, because people normally smile back and then it's easier to genuinely smile at the next person.

I always say please and thank you. My two year old children remember most of the time, I think it's important. There's nothing more rude than someone that just states what they want: "waiter! the bill!" is rude, whereas "excuse me, could I get the bill now please" sounds much nicer. I always hold the door open as well, and thank people who do so for me. I also say "thank you" loudly to people that just march through as if you were a doorman, which isn't polite but it makes a point to rude people.

I let cars in unless they're being utter dickheads, but even in that situation, it usually makes more sense to let them in rather than hold up traffic for an excessively long time. I also always let buses out and get annoyed when people don't. You may get held up a little by being behind a bus, but the bus has a timetable to stick to and passengers to cater for.

I talk to everyone. I strike up conversations in the street, in the shops, on the bus, everywhere. I have no qualms about talking to strangers. I end up having lengthy conversations with lonely (usually old) people and it ends up taking me an hour to nip to the shop for milk.

I don't help old people on and off the bus, because I don't get the bus - I live in the centre of town. I do however help them get things off the top shelf in shops and open doors for them and what not.

I don't buy the Big Issue any more because I've heard too many bad stories and I get a bit cynical that its main function is to provide cheap advertising for dodgy voluntary organisations that use it for cheapness. I used to give change to anyone that asked, now I give to specific charities and have hardened my heart.

I'm polite to anyone that comes to the door, when Jehovah's Witnesses come I explain that I really don't believe in that sort of thing and I wouldn't want to waste their time. This is one huge benefit of living in a flat, this is done via the buzzer. I'm always nice about it though.

I don't swear to people on the phone, they don't deserve that. When I do have a rant I always make a point of telling the person on the phone that I'm sorry to be going off on one at them but that they are the only person I can speak to. I did cry, beg, sob, and generally make a tit out of myself at the guy who called from Elephant to tell me they'd written off my car. For about half an hour, poor bloke. I didn't swear though.

I do tend to drop small litter out of the car, which isn't good. Mostly I put stuff in my bag or seek out a bin, but I'm a bit naughty on this one. I never ever drop litter, even a crumb, in St Andrews because it is beautifully clean. Kirkcaldy doesn't give me the same conscience.

I keep the charity shop bags in my loft. I will take them one day. I wouldn't leave them outside, that's manky.

I witter incessantly at ithe people at the checkout. Mostly they witter back, the teenagers look terrified.

I try not to swear in front of children, but sometimes it escapes. I'm working on it.

So there. I'm reasonably well mannered. I think. There's quite possibly a whole lot of people round here that think of me as the mad smirking woman who they always have to talk to.