Financial revelations

It would seem that the way to save money during the credit crumble is to take the following steps:

stop using taxis unless essential
stop using your car where possible
stop buying overpriced coffees
drink tap water instead of bottled water
colour your hair at home
buy ingredients and cook from scratch
use leftovers to make another meal
invite friends round instead of going out
have a cheaper holiday, or stay at home
take a packed lunch to work...

Wait.
Stop!
That's the way to save money? Stopping spending money where it's not necessary? My goodness! If only people knew this! All this time they thought they didn't have to bother because most of that was simply good for the environment, and it transpires it could save them money too?

>insert pious and smug observations<

Then you get the financial tips, full of unbelievable clever ideas about understanding your finances and paying off debts. Because people don't do that anyway? Oh, right. I see. Affordability? Anything there?

Top tip: start saving!

Erm. Put your money in a savings account? What money? Where?

>insert angry and embittered comments about the government, the previous government and Very Greedy People<

Goodbye banks...

Well, my purse is a lot lighter and I am much happier.

I did learn the following amazing facts:

Virgin, aka MBNA, cannot give a settlement figure. You see, interest is calculated on a daily basis and they can't tell me what my interest would be on the day that my payment cleared, and they can't tell me when my payment would clear. I queried this point for a while, before admitting defeat and paying a little bit extra to cover the interest. Apparently I will receive a credit to my bank account when I close it. Ha ha ha. Or I will be purchasing a precise amount of petrol that day.

Virgin, aka MBNA, do not have statement dates. When I queried the fact that my statement date this month was the 17th, and next month it is to be the 20th, I asked if they just set it when they felt like it. I was told "the statement date is when it suits us best for business reasons", in other words, yes, the settlement date is whenever they feel like it.

I had to be credit searched to REDUCE my overdraft. My online banking wasn't working so sadly I had to speak to a human to do this. I said that no, I wasn't all that happy to be credit searched when I was reducing my credit, but apparently we could progress no further. So, I agreed and after waiting some time the girl came back on the phone and was pleased to tell me I had been approved. Really? You're letting me reduce what I owe you? Why, thank you.

So credit crunch, you can't bite me any more. Oh no. Neh neh neh neh neh.

Crunchy Chunks of Credit

Forgive me if I am wrong for wanting to do a little dance of joy at the news that HBOS has been badly hit by the collapse of Lehman Brothers, that their shares are at an all time low.

Good. The BoS part of them are cretinous scum. A friend for life? Yes, the sort of friend that you can't get shot of, the kind that leech onto you, belittle you and steal your partner.

I was amused by the words of a comedian recently, I think it was Ed Byrne, when he commented on the use of terminology; not using scary words like "recession", "credit crunch" sounds like a breakfast cereal. But then again, that was before Alistair Darling scared the life out of everyone by saying it was the worst it's been for 60 years.

Bush said on Monday (now known as "Black Monday" I believe, clearly we missed Fuschia Monday and Lime Friday during the "bankers lining their pockets with gold"years):

"I know Americans are concerned about the adjustments that are taking place in our financial markets," (from Reuters)

Adjustments? Excuse me?
It's a disgrace, the whole situation should have been clamped down on years ago when it got out of hand. Now it's come back to bite the greedy banks, and ineffective politicians, on their collective bottoms.

I feel another dance of joy coming on.