Gordon Brown in Kirkcaldy

So, Gordon Brown visited Kirkcaldy today.
The town he grew up in.
So he's not going to be convinced by:
the shiny shiny litter free streets
the jolly happy people
the spirit of joy captured by the marching band

But still, nice to make the effort. Security at its finest: bin bags over bins. Without meaning to be picky, could a potential assassin/terrorist wanting to place a device in a bin possibly overcome a binbag? Maybe not. Maybe if they see a bin bag over a bin they move onto the next one, then the next one, then the next one, then get narked and give up the whole idea and have a cup of tea and a piece of shortbread instead. Maybe.

There was much muttering of "last time you'll see him as PM".

Yes, because the people of Kirkcaldy are really going to vote for anyone else. The last tory vote in Kirkcaldy was recorded in 1765.

The choices of the candidates will be:

Sonny Somebody from the Liberals.
Thingy Smugbutquite-Scared from the Tories
GORDON BROWN, your local Prime Minister
Weirdy Funny Party Candidate from a party that you've never heard of
You wouldn't sleep if you voted for the BNP candidate
Oh that one. What's UKIP all about again?
ISN'T SCOTLAND NICE?? Scottish McScot from the Lovely SNP.

So, two candidates have a fighting chance, and 90% of the voters (aka 16% of the entitled to vote population) just trog on down and stamp their X next to Labour Regardless.

I know who I want as PM, and it annoys the HELL out of me that if I can't just vote for him. No, I can vote for a candidate, and if he/she doesn't win this seat, my vote counts for NOTHING.

Bah.

I am sorry to say that if I had bumped into Snr Brown in Kirkcaldy today, my actions would have been sycophantic. And I may have told a big fib. But I didn't bump into him.

Packing

Essentials for packing:

medication
phone
phone charger
credit card

everything else can be sorted later.

iPhone 4.0 and other reasons to be in a bad mood.

Yips. iPhone 4.0 announced today.

Main points that I got from this much anticipated reveal:

1) Multitasking - the biggy, the inevitable - won't work on iPhone 3G. That's right. My one. The one I got 9 months ago, albeit as an insurance replacement (and before you ask, home insurance, not rip off phone insurance) and so 9 months into my contract (now complete) and so am not remotely ready to replace. Gah.

2) iAds. Oh goodie. So ads can run within apps, so you don't *have* to click them. Because you *really* want video ads playing on your iPhone screen when you're using an app. The joy.

3) Folders. Real genuine joy now, folders. Not littered icons, folders. Apple decreed folders, but folders.
Must work on 3G or I'll, I'll, I'll... go and buy a 3GS or something. Grrrrrrr.

Don't have money for 3GS, or I'd have one. Huh.

There are 7 new things, supposedly. Yeah. I got 3 and stopped caring, mostly through being in a big huff about the 3G not multitasking thing.

Making a device that doesn't do all it can because of software limitations, so new software can be leaked later as a reward for being loyal (duped) customers, is just evil/genius.

Apple, I hate you. Hate hate hate.

But you do make very nice things. Damn you.

More reasons to hate Apple:

Aforementioned iPhone 3G has been iffily iffy for a while. So I did a restore to factory settings.

5 hours. 5 hours!!! 5 hours it took to backup, format (or whatever it does) and restore settings as before. Why? Is it JUST because I'm running iTunes on a windows PC? Is it really? And why does iTunes decide which settings I want and which applications to restore? Shouldn't that be up to me? How many times do I have to tell it that I don't have Outlook, and shouldn't telling it NOT to sync contacts be enough to stop it trying to fecking install Outlook?

(no, and no)

iTunes/App store. Leaves you logged in. So if you accidentally tap a "buy" icon in a shit app, you immediately upgrade!!! Hurrah! £1.79 on a shit app! The joys of iTunes are unending.

I don't want/need/have any use for an iPad.

But. I do really want one.

Why? Because I use my phone incessantly and would like a nice big version. Because it's shiny. Because I am a fool.

What I really need is a MacBook. Or an iMac. Yes. I want both of those too.

See? Hate. Subliminal messages telling me I need an iPad. My sons refer to Comet (nearest Apple merchant) as "Mummy's computer shop". They try to sell me stuff, I tell them they don't have to, I don't have any money, I just like looking. And touching a bit.

I am at the end of my contract. I could be free. Nope. iPhone Simplicity, here I am!! Until I eke some money from somewhere and gets me a new iSomething.

Save me Nokia, please?



Typed on iPhone.
Researched on iPhone.
Admittedly not exactly researched but the knowledge vaguely imparted above was gained via iPhone.
iLovemiPhone.

mp3 CD

And this, the first of the catchup. The title I have written is mp3 CD. And so this is what I thought, then.

Wires have been bought and tried, old technologies (iRiver) have been tried and found to conflict with idiocy of driver. So mp3 CDs have been made.

Oh wow.

Wow.

Wow.

Once upon a very long time ago, I was given my first tape recorder. The mix tape became a reality/obsession for me.
Then I discovered CDs, once they were available and stuff.
Music listening was fantabulouso, mostly because random was now a feature of my life.

yes, I do know it's immensely annoying. and yes, some albums have to be played in order. mostly - random. I like the surprise/guess/predict element.

Then. CD burning. On my very own computer.
Mix tape. On CDs. Faint.
I still have my very first compilation CD, cunningly entitled "Compilation 20.07.00". It is remarkably good. It took me an entire evening with a large pile of CDs and painstakingly copying the track that I wanted off each CD.

Then. mp3.

yes, I know the quality isn't the same. I'm not that discerning and I certainly don't listen to music on that sophisticated equipment.

Playlists are a joy. Playlists are easy. Playlists are in fact everything the compilation random taste free music-murderess ever dreamed of.

In these days of children having, I mostly listen to music in the car. And a CD is disturbingly limited.
The new car has an mp3 CD player.

Many, many, many songs on one CD. I have no idea how many, but it's something like 200. The display tells me the song. And it does random. And I can "next" it - my singular most annoying and perpetual habit, or so I have been led to believe - from the steering wheel.

iTunes does it all nicely. Unless of course I want to use any of the songs I have purchased from iTunes because they wouldn't play.

Do Apple do a car music player that's built in? I don't think so. Steve Jobs probably thinks people don't listen to music in the car. Yes, I know Jobs invented iPod; iPod has wires and I have never yet got over my love for CDs, even if I break them by filling them with nasty inferior mp3s. Still, it'd be nice if they did.

My collection of bought-from-iTunes is regrettably ok to be missed off. Things I would never share my love for. It's a nostalgia thing, and when you genuinely only like one song off an album, generally the rest of it isn't all that great.
Whatever. I'm sure other people have recently bought songs by the Christians and Runrig.

Shh.

Anyway.

CD joy, in the car, steering wheel controls, 100s of tracks on one CD = one happy camper.

And if it's raining? cup overfloweth.

Sloppy blogging

So, there's been a lack of blogs.
So what? you say. Well, I promised myself a blog per day, which means 30 for April, not, erm, 6.

Notes have been taken, being an incredibly sad sort of person, and a promise is a promise even if only to oneself. Titles will be as incredibly sad notes decree.

Sick chiddlers, being away on holiday (yay!) and now exams mean no time for bloggage.

They will follow. One per day, even if most of April arrives at once.

Easter

Easter. Bank holiday extraordinaire, being Friday AND Monday.

Except, sorry, did we not have 2nd January instead of Easter Monday? Having it anyway, goodo.

So. I don't really "do" Easter. Which probably makes me a hypocrit as I defend Christmas so much. But I like to argue that's about winter and family and all what not, and if you want the Jesus aspect, it's celebrating his birth. Easter is about eggs, mostly, and commemorating Jesus' betrayal and execution. Yeah. Ok. Resurrection. Uh huh. Spring, doesn't need celebrating as the whole world goes bonkers every time the sun comes out. Family. Yeah. This one does go to friends, I think.

But chocolate does taste marvellous when egg shaped, even if Easter cake is rubbish. I've never done anything for Easter, since I got too old to don a bonnet and go to church, probably never will. Massively appreciate all the eggs we get given and feel oafish for generally not reciprocating, especially when the kids get proper presents. Should I do that? Oh. I got eggs/bunnies for the kids I remembered. And mine. That's good, right?

Bah. It's all very confusing.

Over the Rainbow, wk 2

Never done one of these before, bear with me.

Reality TV. Meh. Stupid people, being stupid and edited to look stupider. Entertainment void. X Factor is extraordinarily cruel. Auditions are purely an excuse to openly laugh at people who are deluded about their own talent. Oh ha ha ha. And to shatter dreams with a cruel comment? What joy! But, yeah, addictive. You watch, you care, you want to know what happens... So, best avoided.

Unless it's on the BBC. They do a special line in Nice. (as in Very Nice, not Southern France). People encourage talent and editing shows the best of people, not the worst.

The latest BBC Very Nice Reality Big Brother Rip Off Talent Show is 'Over the Rainbow', following the format of 'How do you Solve a Problem like Maria?', 'Any Dream Will Do', and 'I'd Do Anything'. All seeking the star of a West End show, auditioning 1000s of nobodies and ending with 10/11/12 people in the studio, voted off weekly by audience phone ins, with one of the bottom two saved each week by Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber.

Oh, and we don't forget he's a Lord. Oh no.

Anyhoo. Here we are, down to the 10 girls picked by the panel, and one wild card selected by the public vote.

---whoever this is, I can't quite figure who actually votes on these things---

A new panel:

Sheila Hancock, who is quite marvellous and appears to believe that talent entirely depends on understanding lyrics. Who cares who can sing, it's all about the understanding. Pah. Next she'll be suggesting it's all about acting.

Charlotte Church. Who is so very nice and knows how to sing so can comment on singing, nicely:

And John Barrowman. No, sorry, another John (Partridge) that is charmingly gay, an ac-tor (Eastenders this time) and star of the West End. Less easy on the eye than the first John Barrowman but an awful lot easier on the tolerance. Also very nice, thoroughly encouraging comments with huge apologies for hints of negativity.

Graham Norton presents, with his usual simmering double entendres desperate to escape. Quite perfect presenter, incidentally, doesn't take it too seriously, or seriously at all in fact. Marvellous.

The girls...
(in order of performance this week)

Stephanie - looks the part. Stood out as an obvious Dorothy from first (edited of course) audition. Aged 17, which seems to be a requisite, the panel loved her. Slightly perturbed as to why her head held on by scarf at the *hilarious* task of looking after pigs on a farm. Peculiar things, teenagers.

Lauren - meh, nothing special. Bit past it at 22, one of the "older" ones. Not bad.

Dani - is basically Dorothy. Awestruck and 16, which is even better for this show than 17, she also, according to the Good Lord (which Graham Norton DID say), looks like a Dorothy.

Steph - another ancient contender at the ripe old age of 21. Sheila likes her, but Lordie said she didn't look anything LIKE Judy Garland so she was wasting her time. Or something like that.

Amy - the "glamorous" Dorothy. Yup. Glamour. Stated she has a very successful modelling career, oh really? Supposedly 22, looks older, No Chance! And blonde? Does Dorothy have blonde hair? Lordie said she would good for Legally Blonde, in other words not good for Wizard of Oz. She said she would take on board comments, sadly not in time to not wear hot pants for the second show.

Danielle - looks kinda Dorothyish and - whoop - is 17. Not hugely tuneful, but not necessarily awful. Lordie said she would paint the road ruby one day, so the dark hair/being a teenager thing is working. Bizarrely wearing two belts, which is just odd,

Emilie - the one the panel didn't think was good enough but that the public liked. Annoyingly gappy teeth, which Dorothy definitely didn't have. Main drawback however is a seriously ouchy voice. Almost out of the running at 19, has mentioned a few too many times to stomach that she's "back!!!!!" yup. Enjoy it while it lasts, you didn't make the grade. No chance.

Bronte - clearly all wrong on account of being blonde, and performed in her nightie, but has a really nice voice. At 18, she's doing ok. She's my favourite.

Jessica - trying quite hard: is 18, darkened her hair. Good at the acting bit, but doesn't have a fantastic voice. Or so the panel say. Someone on Twitter said they didn't like her, which in my mind means all the public.

Sophie - 17 and wholesome, so quite Dorothyesque. She sang with a strong welsh accent, then went all squeaky. Not great last week either. If you keep the singing-doesn't-matter going, she's great.

Jenny - looks like Barbara Windsor. Not a good look, but she is 18 so can -maybe- be forgiven. Crap song, and not too good at throwing off her imagined RockChick look. Ha. Lordie actually shuddered when she was singing, then the panel said she was great. Which was a lie.

The panel were asked who was "not Dorothy" for them:

Sheila: not Amy
John: not Sophie
Charlotte: not Dani. Charlotte clearly hasn't read the brief.

And to the results:

Bronte, Dani & Stephanie all announced as safe. Jenny, Danielle and Jessica all through. As well as, after a pause... Lauren. Amy in sing off (hurrah), Emilie is through. Steph is also in the sing off, so Sophie is safe.

Public voted least votes for Amy. Shocker.

The sing off begins. Amy turns out to have a lovely voice, she might have shown that before. Steph not so good, and Amy's confidence grows and she reverts to type, then Lordie saves Steph as she is slightly younger and less blonde. I think that's the reason he gave?

Camera cuts to Dani crying, thus ensuring she's staying in a couple of weeks. And a sniff from Sophie, proving that she's lovely too and deserves some
votes.

Amy comments that she's been judged for being a model. Nuh uh. Judged on being completely up her own posterior, and going on ever ao about the being a model, and for failing whatsoever to try to fit the part she was auditioning for.

Song of goodbye is Somewhere Over the Rainbow, predictably, instead of the more fitting Goodbye Yellow Brick Road I hoped for. Amy gets carted off on a giant moon, getting her true princess moment. Byeeee! Do hope you become massively famous some other way. May I suggest bagging a footballer?

Chosen Dorothys by the expert panel of me: Stephanie, Bronte, Jessica and Dani. Everyone else is Just Wrong and Dani should win.

A view to a drive

Hawick: meh.
(For foreigners, idiots and Englishmen: pronounced "Hoick")

Car: magnifico!

Rain sensitive wipers: probably the most exciting thing I have ever had ever, ever. I clapped
them the first few times. That's true. And I wasn't driving at the time. It infuriatingly didn't rain today, but the relentless sunshine melted enough snow - I know!!! Getting away from the sea results in astonishing climate changes - to cause puddles on the way home. Whoooosh goes the water off the tyres of the inevitable 4x4s. Wipe go the wipers, wipingly and automatically. Clap clap bounces the mad woman in the passenger seat.

Yes, because of course it didn't work when I was driving. But that did leave me free to clap, so that was good really.

Oh, and next time there's freakishly bad snow, don't drive on the A7. One would guess that in times of freakishly bad snow, you don't drive on the A7 unless you have to, ie you probably live thereabouts and know it well. So the stretch of about 1.5 miles with about 5 cars clearly skidded off the road and abandoned in a snowdrift, plus the one wrapped round a telegraph pole, didn't inspire confidence.

So, remember, bad snow: no A7. If you live in Galashiels/Selkirk/similar then stay at home. If you live in Hawick, sorry about that, but don't try and escape in freakish snow. I'd add "by car" but that would be unnecessary. There is no other way out other than the annual bus.

Yeah. Central Scotland is the height of sophistication. I know this. I am vastly superior even if their houses are much prettier. We have broadband. Huh.

Did I mention my car is brilliant?

"Road test":

The brakes work properly. The driver's window goes up and down smoothly. It glides over the road confidently and is only a little sluggish on steep inclines. The rest of the time it is responsive and good to drive. I like driving Vauxhalls so I am an unreliable witness, but it's jolly nice and new and shiny and gadgety and it does what you ask it without wheezing or bits falling off. Gearbox sound, suspension effective but without making the ride too dull, rain sensitive wipers amazing, very shiny.

I can't do it properly. It's new, obviously I like it; it's not a deathtrap and it's my 3rd Vauxhall so it does what I expect. It was also v cheap and the salesman put a silk sheet over it so as to unwrap it. (I fear there may have been more clapping, and at least some squealing. I don't usually clap or squeal). Which was quite wonderful and I do <3 him for that.

Grumpypants likes it, a lot, and not just because of the wipers. He has more discerning taste than I, despite driving a Fiat 500. Which is cool. We are the family that sense/taste/untold riches forgot.

Ooooh, I nearly forgot. The indicators are fabuloso, but odd. The lever returns to the start position and the cancel is automatic, but you don't think it's going to cancel and start wildly indicating the wrong way. But, once you adjust the steering wheel up so you can see the whole dashboard, and get the hang of it (took me 10 mins, so far has taken grumpypants in excess of 2 hours as he's not got it yet. I don't think. He never took back the rude names he called it) it's rather cool. A swift flick and it does the rest. Atta car.

I don't care if swift flick sounds rude. Go away.

Yeah. Purpose. Hawick will be route of choice if weather good and departure time isn't delayed.

C'est moi moi. Encore une fois. Mais maintenant, c'est tout.

Winning

In just over a week, we are to journey to Yorkshire, which involves one of the following choices:
1) driving directly via (famously bad) A roads
2) driving indirectly via mostly motorway, with a short section on a very bad A road. 10 miles further, 30 mins quicker.
3) motorway all the way. 67 miles longer, not sure on time.

The sensible woman of the household thinks 3 but would accept 2. Grumpypants thinks 1 is the only way.

Argument from me: the A7 (option 1) is atrocious. Anyone who has driven to Hawick can testify to this.
Also: it takes less than 2 hours to get to Carlisle for options 2/3.

Solution, coupled with the new (splendidly wonderful) toy: we are driving to Hawick today. Tomorrow, we're off to Carlisle.

Whichever is less arduous wins.
Or we take two cars on holiday, which could make sharing the driving difficult.

There's not a lot to do round here on a bank holiday, right? Many's would love to drive through the Scottish Borders. Very pretty. Very hilly. Very dull.

Swappage

Incorrect titling there, it's not actually under Vauxhall's Swappage scheme, which is Very Good in normal circumstances, but when you're getting a car for nearly free, you don't necessarily qualify for other discounts. Yes, thank you for buying a new car, we shall now credit you with £3000.

Anyway. Today, at 5pm, as just triple confirmed, I shall be exchanging the old car (not pictured, just the same):

Vauxhall Vectra 1.8 LS, Satin Red
First registered: 15 September 2001
Mileage: 100,500.
Brakes: intermittent
Drivers window: opens 4 inches.
Suspension: does not appear to be present
Insurance group: 9
CO2 emissions: 178 g/km
Fuel consumption (combined): 38 mpg
Output: 113 bhp
0-60: 11.5 sec
Torque:170 Nm 125 lb-ft Nm
Cylinders: 4
Valves: 16 
NCAP rating: ***
Airbags: driver and passenger


I shall be leaving with the following:

Vauxhall Astra 1.4 Active, in Sovereign Silver
First registered: 31 March 2010
Mileage: 0
Brakes, windows & suspension all under 3 year warranty and presumed to work. Brakes have cornering control (!)
Insurance group: 5E
CO2 emissions: 146 g/km
Fuel consumption: 46.3 mpg
0-60: 12.8 sec

Output: 90PS 

Torque: 125 Nm 92 lb-ft Nm    

Cylinders: 4

Valves: 16

NCAP rating: *****

Airbags: Driver, passenger, side impact and full size curtain.

Nifty stuff not present on old car:

RAIN SENSITIVE WIPERS!!!!!!!!! Old car doesn't even have variable intermittent wipe. I get mildly psychotic about any raindrops on my windscreen. And yes, that is important. 

Aux input! although I will probably still use iRiver as, erm, haven't got a wire. May get wire. Also has MP3 CD player so may just use that. The choices!

Automatic lights: because it's very hard to differentiate between light and dark.

I am also hugely excited about the windows having one-touch-up, but the old car has that, it's only down it has issues with. Still: exciting.

Multi function trip computer: so I can be a proper pleb.

Steering wheel mounted controls: admittedly present on old car but disabled due to replacement stereo 

Foldable key. No, I don't get it either. Ooh, wouldn't scratch phone/make holes in pocket. Yeah, good. 

Other stuff like aircon, remote central locking, power steering, ABS and stuff are all present on the deathtrap and still function. Nice, but not new. Despite maintaining that all cars should be black, and decreeing that the other car in the household MUST be black, this is now my 4th non black car (satin red, admiral blue, satin red, sovereign silver)

And so ends another yawnsomely tedious post. I do apologise.

New car?

Hmph.
Hmph.

18/3: Car ordered. Car built, ready to deliver, no modifications. Cheapness due to car SITTING THERE NEEDING SOLD.

26/3: Car "arrived at preparation centre"
DVLA to register car 26/3 or 29/3.

30/3: car still not registered. Car sitting at garage now. Expressed concern that delivery by end of March is condition of deal. Explaination that new system caused bottleneck and 68 cars all need to be delivered by end of March. Panic abounds at garage. Usual solution: meeting to discuss what to do. Silent suggestion: do something instead of talking about it.

31/3: DVLA still not registered car. Cannot be insured and taxed until registered. Will be checked hourly, apparently, they'd like to get it done today to "ensure I can take advantage of full discount". AKA they want to ensure they get full commission. Pointed out small fact of being unprepared to take car at higher price. Ho and lebold, car will *definitely* be registered today, even if I don't get it till Thursday/Friday/Saturday (what they'll do with it till Saturday is a mystery).

Sincerely hoping to update later...


UPDATE:

!!!!!!!!

Car is now registered, taxed and insured! For some inexplicable reason it cannot be collected until tomorrow, but still... !!! Price guaranteed, collection tomorrow 5pm.

And so:

Excitement ahoy! NewcartomorrowithasrainsensitivewipersIvealwayswantedthem.

Weather!!

Dearest of weathers,

While it is very much appreciated that you indulge my whimsy and return to the glorious climes of Winter, I fear the current abomination outside is actually beyond requirements.

A slight drop in temperature to allay the insects and prolong the wearing of jackets was all I REALLY needed. Gale force winds and driving rain weren't actually required. Kudos for annoying people though, particular admiration for allowing Spring to spring and then snatching it away. Muah ha ha. Timing heavy rain to coincide with spring tide is quite genius, the waves crashing over the sea wall/prom/neighbouring roads/half of Kirkcaldy were magnificent.

It has to be questioned: snow? Too far. Admittedly snow is always quite fun, especially if havoc making, but you should know better than to have that much rainfall beforehand. Slush is never popular, it's icky and doesn't cause proper disruptions. Also, 2 degrees is a little on the chilly side. Not to be too fussy, efforts are MASSIVELY cheering, but it's a wee bit overkill just now.

Maybe less precipitation tomorrow? Would that be ok? Just tomorrow, no droughts required.

Many thanks.

Hyperchondria

No. Not a spelling mistake.

A health filled day. Nurse's appointment marked me as healthy, normal weight (with over half a stone to spare!), slightly low blood pressure. Hurrah! Full health.

Or...

Doctor prescibed me new painkilling drugs to try to reduce the other drugs, and sent me for an x ray. (Which I haven't been for yet, plan to go tomorrow, which I was told was ok). Currently awaiting endoscopy for painkiller related stomach pain. Painkillers rule my life these days. I shan't miss them when they're gone.

Yes. I know. But to wash down a cocktail of 8 different pills with a glass of Andrews is a bit, well, irksome.

I also have the cold, which is such a minor inconvenience that I keep forgetting and then being surprised that I feel rough.

But!!! There is joy!!! I must profoundly thank the weather for bringing winter back. I thought they were teasing but no! Really cold. Boots dug out again!

Supposedly getting car tomorrow...

Ha. Delivery by end of March: predicted arrival on Wednesday.

British Stupid Time

I miss that hour. A wonderful, wonderful hour, taken from that special time of day that's either spent asleep on in quiet solitude. 2am till 3am - gone! They couldn't even take 02.30 to 03.30 so 3am didn't exist, no, oh no, it's straight - wham! - into 3am when you're nonchalantly at the relative serenity of 2am.

It's wrong, I tell you, as I tell everyone, every year.

The reason for my upset is twofold.

First, I do genuinely feel robbed. For a good while, I constantly adjust to "real" time and consider the halcyonic timing of GMT. That hour is just gone! This year it would have been spent sleeping - unusually - so *they* have taken an hour's sleep from me. Which given how much sleep I get, is Not On.

My second upset is the marking of the time of year. Summer is well and truly on its way. The days are getting longer, the temperature is rising and the insects are growing in number... it's coming. Spring, yes, nice fair weather, beautiful flowers, baby animals etc. But summer is coming and summer, mostly, sucks. Christmas is such a very very long time away!! The summer holidays are coming (erm, after the Easter holidays and summer term), I feel hot and bothered already. The days to wear a parka are gone for now. Jumpers, packed away again. Goodbye lovely boots, adieu scarves, so long faithful gloves. And my hats! Banished to the drawer of cosy things. For months and months and months on end.

Sob! Just for an extra hour of evening light. The days are "long enough" in a fortnight or so anyway, 'tis nonsense. We have lights.

Oh! A ray of sunshine amongst the gloom: longer days means less light by hateful, inadequate, colourchanging, horrible, VILE energy saving lightbulbs. It's not all bad. Just pretty miserable.

Wedding!

Glorious day. Wonderful people. Happy, happy couple.

And from a completely self obsessed point of view:

I have a new dad!! I needed one of them.

So many compliments, I have been called stunning many, many times AND had my/our parenting skills admired. Impeccably behaved gorgeous children.

My mother looked beautiful and radiant; her husband is both very lucky and a wonderful addition to our family.

Sigh. Lovely, lovely.




Yes, I know. But it would feel wrong to post about anything else. Soz.

Self obsession

Disclaimer: the following is a vent of no interest to man nor beast.

It is strange. In a matter of hours, my mother, widow of 19 years, is getting married. To a very nice man who I shall be proud to consider a parent. But still, strange.

I shall be maid of honour. In a dress that I got in a fit of slenderness delusion and in which I look like a jellybaby. An aqua blue mermaid jellybaby. Next to two aqua blue bridesmaids in a non fitted dress apiece that is oh so much more forgiving.

Who designed the dresses? That'd be me.

A trip to the hairdresser today was meant to be a tidy up and have my hair ready for tomorrow. For no apparent reason, copious, copious, vast, choking amounts of hairspray were applied, which fused ever so brilliantly with the rain and wind. So, hair has needed to have been washed (3 times today!) and the length is now apparent. Before the product removal, the volume detracted from the length, now I can see it in all its lacking. This morning I had jaw length hair, which is pretty short. Now I have cheekbone length hair. Which is, erm, really short and not exactly becoming. Way too much face on display.

I shall also be the token sober person at the reception. Damned painkillers.

And so that is out of my system, sorry you got shared at, and now I can concentrate on how wonderful it is, and how wonderful the BRIDE, her whose day it is after all, shall look...

Oh fork

Stuff leads to emotion leads to eye rubbing leads to ohmygodwhatisthis my eye is revving up for a "turn" and I need to be bridesmaid on Saturday. Preferably sans eyepatch.

Breathe.

But. Reliably informed emotion = drama queen so shall repress and get spots instead.

You've obviously got great taste in where you get your ideas from - can you give your readers any tips on how to dwvwlop bwtter taste generally?

Ah yes, now that's easy. Eat more cheese.

It has been nonscientifically proven that the consumption of cheese in relative excess is directly proportional to ability to recognise ideas and steal them.

Albert von Copy was the first to notice this phenomenon in 1765 and gave his name to the action of Alberting, later changed to being copying. He did in fact further his studies and has rough sketches of what he called a photoalberter, uncannily similar to what we know as a photocopier.

answered from
formspring question.

Notices

Oh, so much self importance.

It's MY blog. So neh.

Firstly: there is a formspring thing over thonder. Given the overwhelming response to anything else, I've blatantly pinched this idea from another nameless blog.

I'm not going to beg.

Secondly, go back and read the spraffle about physics, dated yesterday and we're all pretending it WAS yesterday's. All today's thought went into that. Today: vain delusion, *yesterday*: physics. Sort of.

Oh!!! Such cheek!

Natural Philosophy

I continue to be blown away by Professor Brian Cox and Wonders of the Solar System, expanding on yesterdays bletherings. Which, naturally, is being watched all at the wrong times.

So, physics? Amazing. Great. Explains everything. The most interesting science...

Or so I have been told, by those who I most admire (in real life) who care about science, namely big bro, hubby and my most favourite teacher, who taught me Biology but who confessed that his first love was for physics. I did not agree. Physics bored me. Intensely. Who cares where the ball lands? Science, yes, great. Maths, quite wonderful, endless interest in patterns and fractals and fractions and percentages and things that add up to everyday life. Further interest in algebra, geometry, calculus and things that have no bearing on much other than maths. But still, fun. Yes, really, fun. Biology? It's how we work! Chemistry: sort of like cooking, follow the recipe, get the result. Makes sense, useful to understand: Medicine. Oh yeah! Now we're talking! Blood and guts and disease and ick. Hurrah! Something to ponder to degree level!

Physics. Nope. Mental block. Where maths and physics overlap, maths and I part ways. Tedium. The fact that I am for the second time in my life studying Engineering is accidental, the physics element has been broken down to pure maths and so has overcome the mental blockage in my head.

It has been pointed out to me (on numerous occasions) that the following are all entirely to do with physics:

1) Weather

2) Astronomy

3) Engineering

4) Cars. Pretty much everything to do with cars, except the small bit that's chemistry.

5) Everything

But still, I resist, and respond with the following:

1) Weather is chaotic. La la la la la.

2) Who cares about astronomy? So, the stars and moon and what not are quite cool, and meteor showers are immense, and the solar eclipse is one of the most gobsmacking things I have ever witnessed, and comets are pretty exciting and I'd give my left arm to see the Northern Lights. I'm so not interested. Huh.

3) Maths. Maths. Maths. Engineering can all be geometry if you try hard enough.

4) I can appreciate aesthetics without understanding. No, I can. Even if that goes against everything I believe in.

5) Everything I know to be true is in fact not true if you entertain the concepts of quantum physics.

Quantum physics aside, because that is one big headmess (I get as far as the theory of relativity, which is simple enough, and then I cease to understand a thing Einstein and chums were on about: if a cat's there then it's there, or it's not, huh?)*, there is a small fact that should have smacked me in the face a very long time ago:

Pretty much everything I wonder about can be answered by physics. Some can be attributed to maths or other branches of science, but it has been said oft to me that all science is basically physics.

Which I have argued thus: I understand other sciences.

But now, wonder of wonders, Professor Brian Cox has come along and effectively smashed through my mental block. He and his wonderful programme have made all the comments made to me over the years make sense. Wonders of the Solar System is eliminating my ignorance and soothing the physics hatred I have carried for years. I get it! It's amazing! The Laws of Physics DO explain everything!

I have so much catching up to do...

*I do get Schrodinger's cat thing. I just don't like the implications on what I know to be true, so I don't like understanding it; it's easier to dismiss it as not making sense. I quite like existing when I'm not there, I'm still here. la la la la la.