It's the end of the world as we know it

Ooh. Today is the day the world ends, except it doesn't.

According to Mayan calendars, December 21 2012 marks the end of the 13th baktun, which means that they've been through 13 cycles of 394 years and today marks the end of the current one.

The existing Mayans who live in Belize point out to the scaremongers that it is simply the end of a time, not the end of time. For them, a new cycle is due to begin.

Which is a lot like us with New Year, every year. You know, resolutions, traditions, something called redding that I have Never Heard Of, despite being from the town of Hogmanay (Edinburgh you know). And even more like us at the end of 1999 when, oh yes, the world was going to end because of the Millenium Bug, or Y2K.

Oh right. Redding means cleaning the house thoroughly on Hogmanay. All ready for the new year, and I guess it means "readying". I know that's a belief that you must be careful what you do on New Year's Day so you get out of the way all the unpleasant tasks you don't want to have to do.  Apparently it also entailed repaying all debts before the bells at midnight. Aye, right.

I do like reading about how we live in Scotland. Fascinating.

Anyway, back to the doom and gloom of the end of the calendar. The Mayan calendar that we don't usually pay a whit of attention to, remember?

Assuming an apocalypse was to happen, which it won't, there are various proposed mechanisms by which we meet our demise.

First up is an alignment of the planets that causes us to disappear into our pet black hole.

Naturally, there's the potential for a collision with a previously unnoticed, sorry, unacknowledged planet. Or a meteor couldn't strike us.

There's others, along the same lines. Random negative energy, pole reversal and other astronomical disasters that might just have been predicted by now. Doommongery at its finest. We do love a good apocalyptic panic.

I believe that the solstice is due to happen at 11.12 this morning, and that this is the time of the "apocalypse".

I bet I forget. I always do, then a few hours later I'm pleasantly reminded that it hadn't happened. Again.

Wiggo!

How gratifying to see Bradley Wiggins win BBC Sports Personality of the Year. A truly deserved win.

First he won the Tour de France, the first British rider to do so, and then right on the tail of that, off he went to the Olympics to win gold.

Brilliant sportsmanship, and what a thoroughly nice man he is. Not arrogant in the slightest, humble and just an all round good bloke, as well as being truly talented.

Pleased I am.

December 14th

RIP innocent children in Newtown, Connecticut.

There are no words for this tragedy other than sending thoughts to those who have lost their precious angels so close to Christmas. May they be at peace.

Cuddle your own babies close to you.

The glorious 12th

No, not that one. The date today, being 12/12/12, marks the last properly matching date in our lifetime.  Which is sad, if you're sad like me and have a mild obsession with dates and numbers.

We've been spoilt, with all the lovely dates starting on 01/01/01, running through 02/02/02, 03/03/03, passing my mother's brilliant birthday on 07/07/07, and onwards up till today.

Not to mention the other great dates such as my brother's wedding date of 10/11/12, a pattern which reaches its final, for our generation anyway, incarnation on 11/12/13, a year from yesterday.

My own much anticipated special birthday date was 11.1.11, which has passed, but such palindromic dates are what we have to make do with. My sons have the next one on 3.1.13, although if you want to be pedantic it is better on 31.1.13. My daughter has to wait for her special birthday date until 2.9.29, and that's not even palindromic.

Maybe she'll be excited on her birthday in 2092, but then all will be looking onward to the 22nd century and the imminent 01/01/01 etc.

For the love of the flaming box

Have I mentioned before how great Firebox are? I should have, so we'll assume I have.

So, reasons why they are great:

I love most of their products. I want to gift everyone I know with nifty gifts, and I mentally categorise people by how much they would appreciate an unnecessary but cool gizmo. If they'd like a voodoo knife block, then I like them.

http://www.firebox.com/product/1109/Voodoo-Knife-Block

Yeah. Links. It's 2am and embedding is way too before-midnight-y to work.

Anyway. Other reasons why Firebox is the best website in the world:

They give you free sweeties. Or they did last time I bought anything. Everyone should give a wee bag of haribo with purchases. It's nice. It's always excitin get something extra in a parcel.

I have a memory of writing this before. Ah well. It was long enough ago that I don't really remember so what chance do my bot readers have of remembering?

Not YOU, obvs. You're special.

And now, further greatness is revealed after I made an order and received an email confirmation that made me smile with genuine smiliness. I do like a touch of silliness, it's like a sweetie for the inbox. And silly the email was, while imparting the relevant information. Huzzah.

What other reasons do you need?

So. Love Firebox.

I also quite love the Daily Mash, which is genius, and the peak of my love was upon reading their privacy and cookies thing. Which should be visible somewhere, wherever Blogger put it, and must be admired not least for the "whatever" button.

In a world that I mostly find unfunny, humour in the mundane is very much appreciated. Thank you internet peeps.

Royal miracle

It is indeed a miracle. The Duchess of Cambridge is in fact the first woman ever to conceive a baby. Ever.
Who knew there was so much gossip and humour to be eked from one small pregnancy?
I don't have much to say on it. Anyone who conceives just the one baby first time round isn't trying very hard. Get back to me if she gets upgraded to multiples. Although it will be pleasant to have the "too thin to conceive" silenced.

2013 is here.

Ok, not quite, but in a revisit of an old post I am delighted to bring you the predictions for the coming year.

Yes. December has just begun. We're not at New Year yet. But let's pretend there's a logical reason for magazines being a month ahead.

What untold joys does 2013 hold for us then?

Not a lot.

We will be settled, which is jolly nice if you are,  but a bit of an ask if you're not. Pressure is on a bit for the unsettled. The triangle of work, home and relationships should be in order and...

Wait a minute, what? All three? Cripes. That's a bit much. So that's our goal: achieve the impossible.

We are very self confident now. No we're not, actually. I do believe in myself though, there's a lot of evidence for me and not so for Santa, God, fairies etc, so that's a definite start. Getting there.

The technology stuff sort of tells me that we're going to be much the same as we are this year. Woo. And more of us are unemployed but this is good because it gives us more time to improve our minds.

I do find nothing broadens my mind more than sitting around the house conversing with a toddler and watching CBeebies. None of that pesky adult conversation stuff fuddling my expanding brain, nuh uh. And how nice not to waste my brainpower on work when I can be at home making life changing decisions such as "which shoes to wear". Maybe if I didn't have the toddler and was at home anyway I'd expand my mind with daytime tv? Yes, that must be what they mean.

Oh. Read books. Because the book that springs to mind as having been read by all women this year is positively mind enhancing.

No, wait, we're going to be doing puzzles and brain training. Yes, you did read that correctly. In 2013 Brain Training is going to become popular. I only hope they can put it on handheld devices, that would be fabulous. They could get someone like Nicole Kidman to do the advert. How modern.

Family stuff, we're going to have paternity leave, more single mothers and not have babies. All at the same time. And babies are really expensive so we'll take on more and take our parents on as well. Yay.

It's going to be a busy year.

We shall yearn for back to basics, which is a nice way of saying we pretend we like simple things and not nice shiny new things. And we'll be into bargains! Yay, maybe we'll discover eBay!

Yes, we're still skint and still making like it's a good thing because we will save money like non-rich people do anyway. We're going to plan our meals and make a shopping list? Radical plans.

Who are these people?

(Woman and Home incidentally. I think they've been away for a few years).

Meh. 2009 was going to be so much more exciting. We were going to go for walks and everything. Now we have to dig out Brain Training and move Granny in to our garden (I jest not).