Euro 2012 is practically here

Ooh, I do love a good football tournament. Far more exciting than old people not dying and Britain funding athletics by cutting payments to everyone.

Due to the aforementioned, it is time for my patriotism to arise and show my full support for France. And Sweden, but not Ukraine as "we" don't like them just now.

Euro 2012 starts tomorrow. Woop woop. England are in group D with Sweden, France and Ukraine, which is an amazing coincidence that these are the same countries I seem to be supporting.

Group B - Germany, Denmark, Netherlands and Portugal - is my favourite and I'm a bit gutted those countries are in the same group so they can't all progress.

Germany are my favourites, obviously, and in the unpleasant situation that England qualify for the quarter finals, it is down to Germany to beat them on penalties because that is always fun.

I usually support the Netherlands because they have the best fans.

Denmark have a special place in my loyalties as I have Danish relatives and because of Schmeichel and the Laudrups.

And I like the Portugese because they're generally good and I like the Portugese people (based on one holiday and their general fitness).

So that's me pledged my allegiance and stamped the kiss of malfortune on the above teams.

One year it would be nice to support MY country. IF we ever qualified.

Incidentally, I do get that it would be courteous to support the home nations, but England produced David Cameron and that is unforgivable.

And R. Ireland isn't a home nation even if that's oft forgotten.