Superbat

So, I've watched the first 51 minutes of Superman vs Batman and given up due to the super slow internet and its inability to keep streaming.

  

Gah. I seriously never, ever imagined I'd miss Virgin.

Anyway. Thoughts. I should probably call it Dawn of Justice, but I can remember when Star Wars was just called Star Wars. That's not all that relevant. (harsh, imaginary reader, harsh)

Turns out Superman is better than Batman. Who'd have thought it? I always argued that Batman was superior due to his being just a man instead of relying on superpowers, but when held up against Superman, his lack of superpowers just make him seem a bit dweeby.

It isn't just aesthetics. 

No, it isn't.

Henry Cavill being so very very very attractive versus Ben Affleck being kind of meh is utterly not the point.

Ahem.

.

I'm sure there's a story there? We've just discovered that the second thinnest woman on earth is Diana Prince. (Well, her name popped up on the phone screen when I was trying to convince it to keep streaming, I don't think we should know that yet). But still, Wonder Woman. That's awesome. She's awesome. Where does she fit in? Why don't I remember anything about any of them? Should I have been watching all the Marvel/Avengers/whatever films and keeping up? 

And then we got a little spinning circle, and so the viewing ended and has now been replaced by Match of the Day.

I am a little concerned that my long lived devotion to Batman is waning (or Wayning perhaps). Since Batman, the Tim Burton one, came out and I watched it at the cinema three times, my adoration of Batman has been pure and complete. But now there's a few things that I Don't Like.

Well, Ben Affleck would be one. But there's a few things that go along with utterly irrational fears (no, I don't know what will happen if my feet are exposed in bed but I'm not risking it) that have turned up in this film so far. Two things actually.

The first was the branding. No no no. That's creepy. That's one of the things that make me inexplicably and bizarrely frightened of Zorro. (Yes, really). And the second is the utterly terrifying face on the new bat suit,

(picture taken from Cinema Blend but I believe it was first tweeted by Zack Snyder)

How menacing is the face on that? Very Anonymous and very scary.

So, tomorrow will hopefully see the viewing of the remaining 100 minutes (no, even the lure of Henry Cavill's torso isn't enough to try and watch it at silly o' clock). I do hope to emerge without an actual fear of Batman. I was shattered to discover that Jason Donovan is actually hideously awful, despite harbouring a major crush on him for 22 years. It will be a little galling to discover that all my devotions of 1989 were errors of judgement.

For the record, I have to hate Amy Adams. She got to be an actual Disney Princess. She got to act with the Muppets. And she gets to a) be Lois Lane and b) kiss Henry Cavill. Too much for one girl, sorry,

***disclaimer*** I don't know what the man thing is. I appear to be on heat. Obviously I usually hardly notice them. La la la,

Hey. Zorro wasn't ever anything to do with Marvel was he...?