Typing for fun

I have the whole of April to catch up on reading blogwise. That's a lot of blogs, of which I've read a small sample. I don't, obviously, read all blogs, because that wouldn't be possible, and actually I don't read very many, but I do read some and I haven't been and I feel slightly overwhelmed at catching up so I may just shut Blogger and run away.

Then again, I might not.

The joy of having a desk. Did I mention I have my desk and chair back? 15 months of using my laptop (3 different laptops actually, but that's an irrelevant point) on the bed is now over. I can regain feeling in my fingers. I am comfortable. I am In A Chair.

So I'm going to type until I just fall asleep. Bla bla bla.

Or not. I may wait till I'm nearly asleep and go to bed. Which I have to do from my desk. I don't sleep here. I might, but I fear that wouldn't help the sore back. But I could. I have a chair.

My phone has never known a desk before. It has a place to sit, my little charging station which sounds quite organised but consists of a fourblock taped to the side of the desk and a little freebie phone deckshair that the wires for charging (DS and iPhone) can sit on so they don't go AWOL. And I have a mental attack every time I put my phone on my desk because for no reason whatsoever the box is here and so I have to line the phone up exactly on the picture on the outside of the box. Seconds of amusement.

Come back! I have other things to talk about! Ages worth!

I am watching the Apprentice. I have never watched this before on account of despising that sort of thing (mostly) but I decided to. I like it. Get thoroughly obnoxious arrogant twats and make them look stupid. I love seeing Kate look stupid, she does it with such ease. I don't care about the others. They're all donkeys apart from Yasmina. She said "I am so much better than the rest of them" or something to that effect and yes, she is. She is quite correct. Lorraine does appear to have a brain attached, but she is spectacularly ugly and everyone knows ugly people don't win reality tv shows. The blokes are insipid and unremarkable in every way.

And that's all I'm going to say on the matter, perhaps, because everyone else says it so much better. Sadly, not Andrew Collins which is a very sad thing indeed, but such is life.

Twitter: my life now boils down to tweets of 140 characters. (Why is it not Twits and Twitting? If that's rude then why's the whole thing not called Tweeter?). People come across well in tweets, I warm to them. People should speak at all times in comments of 140 characters. I'm not entirely sure how you'd measure it but it would be great. Exams would be so much easier, and shorter. Interviews would be infinitely easier. It's the future. But anyway, it does seem to bring out the best of people, they possibly actually have to think more to abbreviate, but whatever the reason, it works. I adore Stephen Fry now, I never quite took to him previously but he just gets the tweet thing right and says the right words at the right time. I naturally have many ginormous virtual crushes but shhhhh. Them's a secret. I find out about the bits of the world I'm interested in through other people, I can be spectacularly lazy. And for the iPhone users of the world, Tweetie is a great application.

Stuff has happened. Stuff I wanted to rant about. But for now I'm feeling mellow and unranty and I think I shall takes myself off to that bedplace.

Nytol.

In which the author says very little of any importance

Gah. Feeling cack so haven't felt inclined to blog. Now I feel inclined to blog and haven't done anything to blog about. Been sidetracked by the Lent thing which was a dumb idea, it runs out in a couple of weeks and means I jot down daily inanities there. Ah well.

I have been reunited with some of my beloved books, including the two most precious to me. They were in trusted care, perfectly safe, but I was most pleased to see their little covers. Amongst my books were a couple that weren't previously mine, but that the giver wanted to pass on. One of these was one of the collections of round robin letters by Simon Hoggart. I have been completely sidetracked by this and so my quest to read more of my list has been temporary halted. I may cheat a little on that one in a day or two, just because I can. It's my list. Incidentally, Lottery is good, I'm just in a funny mood. I will finish that, it's not cast aside, I've just been distracted.

STV have axed Moving Wallpaper! I know it's not very good, I only watched the last series because I watched Echo Beach, which in turn I only watched because Jason Donovan was in it. But still. I like the cast and it's entertaining and I'd decided to watch it. But STV have dropped some ITV shows, that's one of them, and so tough titties basically. Watch it on ITV.com, on Microsoft Silverlight (thanks!) or don't watch it. I think I shall be going for the latter option.

I taped that Red Riding thing, mostly because Andrew Collins recommended it. I am convinced it is called Little Red Riding Hood, but then again I am convinced The Tiger Who Came to Tea won the Man Booker Prize. Methinks I spend too much time round small children.

Light at the end of the tunnel: a week on Tuesday the children and I are off to nursery to get them enrolled. They have a place (oh boy do they have a place) but this is the official "what do we do". So I can find out about what to do about the fact that neither of my children like wearing trousers and that one of them has a phobia of public toilets.

Aside from revolting coughs and general malaise, that would be that in MDworld.

Goodliness and the art of miscommunication

Being goodly:

My books arrived today. "Professor Stewart's Cabinet of Mathematical Curiosities" by Ian Stewart and "Bad Science" by Ben Goldacre. I sooooooo want to read both of them immediately, one is about mathsy things and problems (and by Ian Stewart who is fabulously fabulous) and the other is about ranting and mentions the 'MMR hoax' on the back cover. Oh yes!

I get so angry any time I THINK about the MMR thing; it is appalling that such a furore was allowed to happen and I was furious that when my children came to get theirs, I had a moment of "should I...?" when of COURSE I should, there is NO LINK and it was WRONG but the furore was such to put doubt in the mind of all mothers. Even one who disbelieves everything and is supposedly educated in such things. Grrr. I may have mentioned this, it's one of those "ready, steady, RANT" subjects.

So, a whole book of rants like that (not like that rant, rants on subjects such as that. I'm guessing Mr Goldacre rants more eloquently than I).

Bring it on! And other things I don't usually say!

But look. She is goodly. She hasn't opened either book yet.

I am continuing to read Mort by Terry Pratchett. I am on page 17 (I don't get much chance to read, ok? I'm going to crack on once I'm done ranting) and so far... not put off or scared out of my tiny mind. I am not casting it aside for no crime other than not being the book I've taken a fancy to reading. I will stick to One Book at a Time. I will!

NB: my love* for Andrew Collins endures (terribly terrible taste in music aside),
even though I've switched to the "other side" all round. I'm fickle, but not totally fickle.

The art of miscommunication:

This internet lark is frustrating most of the time. Mostly because it is populated (not entirely) by idiots, and lotsly because sarcasm isn't immediately apparent when unaccompanied by facial expressions and intonation. If it wasn't for encountering splendidly splendid people (virtually all of whom love* either Andrew Collins or Bernard Butler) in amongst the waves of vacousness, I would be packing up my fingers and flouncing offline.

I have been reading with interest the debate sparked by Richard Herring's declaration of love* for his iPhone.

We have la:

Subject: Re: iPhone [ REPLY ]
Posted by: JJ on 26/Jan/09

On 26/Jan/09, angrygadgetphobe wrote:
> Right, that's it. If he posts one more thing about his fecking iPhone I'm taking a hiatus from reading this blog. I had enough of it from Stephen Fry in 2007 (http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2007/nov/10/iphone1).
>
> You can find out about any song just by playing it to your phone. I can (somehow) figure out how to make my food budget of just £15 last over 5 days. They're both admirable processes. One is of zero interest to somebody who collects 5ps of the street to feed a meter.
>
> I don't care about the phone. I care about the people you meet and the gigs that you do and daft things that happen.
>
>Am I alone in thinking that iPhones were invented so that grown men without families have something to spend their money on?

I may be grown, but I am not a man, I do have a family, and I love* both the iPhone and Richard Herring, I cannot remain silent. And so I posted this, in which I forgot everything I know about the English language:

Subject: iSmug [ REPLY ]
Posted by: MD on 27/Jan/09

Interestingly the iPhone doesn't actually DO anything, it's all a Emperor's New Clothes thing and none of us are prepared to admit that we've been duped. It's pyramid selling thing though, we have to get other people to buy it to recoup our losses.

Incidentally, please don't review or indeed refer anything in London, I can't afford to go so find it exclusive. If I'm not interested, I think it safe to say: no one is.

Not expecting this as a reply:

Subject: Re: iSmug [ REPLY ]
Posted by: Darren on 27/Jan/09 Bloody hell, there's been a few posts in the last few days criticising Warming Up, which I find ridiculous.

Rich doesn't give a shit what we think of his blog, and I hope it stays that way. Unlike his stand-up, or the podcasts, it's not here for our entertainment, it's here to help him write. Even if he writes a load of balls on some days, sometimes it's the rubbish that can lead to something better.

>>Quoting moi, just to make sure that it was clear what he was referring to.

Give me the strength to tolerate fools...

So I conclude from this:

1) I'm not very funny
2) Sarcasm not apparent

or

3) People, like Darren, are stupid

and regardless

4) I'm not very nice

It is also apparent, due to my renewed love* for Mr H, that loving* an iPhone is quite enough to pull someone. If you're Richard Herring**. And you're not actually pulling someone because they're married and you're attached. And that someone is someone like me. But y'know, in (quite) different circumstances.


*love: possible overenthusiastic term. Muchos admiration of.
**he has other attributes.

ohappiday

I just looked at the date. It's the 2nd of December today. The piece of work I'm hyperventilating over is not due till the 4th. Two whole evenings to go. Not one. Two. That's like 12 hours or something.

Christmas arrived yesterday in this house, hurrah hurrah hurrah. Tree is up, sans baubles as they have been lost by Someone Else, so it's covered with candy canes and foil covered chocolate and looks really quite cute. Yesterday we celebrated Andrew Collins by having a holiday, that only the government took, in honour of him. Or maybe it was some other Andrew, I'm not sure. Alex Salmond is obviously a fan.

Talking of Andrew Collins, this is what Nathan Jay's done now, it's amazing:




Oh, I just realised what I have to do with my new found free afternoon, the boys' birthday is one month tomorrow and the card has to be at CBeebies 4 weeks before, so needs posted, erm, today, I think. Yah. It's 4 weeks on Saturday, and given that Christmas gets in the way...

Oh cack.

Action stations. I needs a photo of them. Panic! Panic! Has to be printed too. Still have the CBeebies cheaty stickers to make auto-card. Need glitter!

I feel the need to hyperventilate again.

brainbreak

I had something I wanted to blog about but I got distracted on the way here and so forgot completely what it was.

Never mind, there is always later.

Clearly I need to share the distractions.

First, this is from Andrew Collins' blog, so if you've been there already, this is repetition . I think this is brilliantly done, it's really impressive. Much kudos to Nathan Jay.

In my esteemed estimation, a gentleman of a certain age with a desire for a pink digital watch is most definitely gay. Or, fauxmosexual in an attempt to impress the ladies. Deeply suspicious anyway.

It occurred to me sometime earlier that Christmas is one month today. I have done nothing towards Christmas except buy the kids' presents, and I'm a bit skint. Problemo. So I'm off to buy some stuff to bake some Christmas presents. I may have lost my last remaining friends by New Year.

cheese: the thinking man's toothpaste

The penny drops

I just realised where the vegetarianism came from. Why is this happening to me? I'm not normally influenced by other people. I don't change things because of other people. I used to like meat.

I am a sad, sad groupie git.

I need my own mind back. Give it to me now.

When will I, will I be grown up?

This is getting ridiculous.

What I am reading: Andrew Collins' biographies
Books added to wishlist: Mitford ones as recommended by Andrew Collins
What I am watching: The Wire. Because Andrew Collins said so
What I am listening to: Collings and Herrin podcasts

What next? Waiting for him to say what he's going to eat before I make any meals?

I'm sure I used to have my own mind.

Sucking up

I am such a suck ass. I am also perpetually curious and easily impressed, as well as having a need to be able to build models of things like the Great Wall of China out of my book collection.

I just made the following order from Amazon:

Delivery estimate: 14 Oct 2008 - 20 Oct 2008
Dispatch estimate for these items: 9 Oct 2008

1 "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now: My Difficult Student 80s"
Andrew Collins

1 "That's Me in the Corner: Adventures of an Ordinary Boy in a Celebrity World"
Andrew Collins

1 "Corned Beef Sandwich"
Mark Sullivan

1 "Where Did It All Go Right?: Growing Up Normal In the 70s"
Andrew Collins


There is no point in crawling if I don't publicise it. By 2014 I hope to have read at least one of these.

Manners, or some more about myself

I was looking back at Andrew Collins' (yes, him again) blog entries and found his Manners Manifesto.

I think I do ok, here are the headings:

1. Smile.
2. Say please and thank you.
3. Let that car in.
4. Be friendly to strangers.
5. Help old people off or on the bus.
6. Buy the Big Issue and give some change to the homeless.
7. Be polite to Jehovah's Witnesses.
8. Never swear at people on the other end of helplines.
9. Never, ever drop litter.
10. Leaving bags of stuff outside charity shops when they're closed? Come on!
11. Talk to people at the check-out.
12. Don't swear when there are kids about.

I do most of those, just because that's the way I am.

I smile at people, although I do worry it's insincere. I'm normally in a super grumpy mood, see someone and smile at them. It does make you feel better, because people normally smile back and then it's easier to genuinely smile at the next person.

I always say please and thank you. My two year old children remember most of the time, I think it's important. There's nothing more rude than someone that just states what they want: "waiter! the bill!" is rude, whereas "excuse me, could I get the bill now please" sounds much nicer. I always hold the door open as well, and thank people who do so for me. I also say "thank you" loudly to people that just march through as if you were a doorman, which isn't polite but it makes a point to rude people.

I let cars in unless they're being utter dickheads, but even in that situation, it usually makes more sense to let them in rather than hold up traffic for an excessively long time. I also always let buses out and get annoyed when people don't. You may get held up a little by being behind a bus, but the bus has a timetable to stick to and passengers to cater for.

I talk to everyone. I strike up conversations in the street, in the shops, on the bus, everywhere. I have no qualms about talking to strangers. I end up having lengthy conversations with lonely (usually old) people and it ends up taking me an hour to nip to the shop for milk.

I don't help old people on and off the bus, because I don't get the bus - I live in the centre of town. I do however help them get things off the top shelf in shops and open doors for them and what not.

I don't buy the Big Issue any more because I've heard too many bad stories and I get a bit cynical that its main function is to provide cheap advertising for dodgy voluntary organisations that use it for cheapness. I used to give change to anyone that asked, now I give to specific charities and have hardened my heart.

I'm polite to anyone that comes to the door, when Jehovah's Witnesses come I explain that I really don't believe in that sort of thing and I wouldn't want to waste their time. This is one huge benefit of living in a flat, this is done via the buzzer. I'm always nice about it though.

I don't swear to people on the phone, they don't deserve that. When I do have a rant I always make a point of telling the person on the phone that I'm sorry to be going off on one at them but that they are the only person I can speak to. I did cry, beg, sob, and generally make a tit out of myself at the guy who called from Elephant to tell me they'd written off my car. For about half an hour, poor bloke. I didn't swear though.

I do tend to drop small litter out of the car, which isn't good. Mostly I put stuff in my bag or seek out a bin, but I'm a bit naughty on this one. I never ever drop litter, even a crumb, in St Andrews because it is beautifully clean. Kirkcaldy doesn't give me the same conscience.

I keep the charity shop bags in my loft. I will take them one day. I wouldn't leave them outside, that's manky.

I witter incessantly at ithe people at the checkout. Mostly they witter back, the teenagers look terrified.

I try not to swear in front of children, but sometimes it escapes. I'm working on it.

So there. I'm reasonably well mannered. I think. There's quite possibly a whole lot of people round here that think of me as the mad smirking woman who they always have to talk to.

All fixed

Well, I had my telephone interview and I didn't succeed. I was momentarily upset, then massively relieved. Apparently in the past year I have learned to talk and am no longer monotonous and negative, I just didn't access the deepest recesses of my brain for my stock competency based interview answers. I expect this is a LOT to do with the fact that my brain was screaming "no! no! It's £12k a year pro rata for working 2 12 hour shifts each and every weekend!"

Please take on weekend staff, Waterstones, I'm ever so good with books*. I'm going to get tarted up (which these days means "look human" rather than what it used to mean) and go and see if they're advertising for Christmas staff yet. Maybe the library are just taking ages to get back about their Saturday job. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

*Good with books? Is that possible? Books tend to be pretty compliant, on account of their very book-ness.
"Please detail a time when you had to deal with a particularly difficult book."

This is very tedious and personal at the moment, it's all about me (as not quite sung by McFly). It's my blog and I'll blather on about my boring life if I want to, blather on about my boring life if I want to. You would blather on about your boring life too if it happened to you.

(I think I'm seeing why the word "cry" was used by Lesley Gore, which I REMEMBERED without Googlage, although I did Google to check. It's a bit catchier).

Not about me: Andrew Collins blogged again, he's un-upset. I'm pleased. Despite better informed opinions to the contrary, I think he deserves much un-upsetness.

In my head

I wish I didn't have a long track record of being so rubbish at job interviews. Tomorrow I have a telephone interview, so I've rapidly achieved maximum insecurity. Last year I sailed the telephone interview, I am really nervous for this one. Trouble is, if I do badly tomorrow I think I will just wither away in an attempt not to pollute the world with potent inadequacy, and if I do well, I will have to have a real interview, for which I will be in a state of genuine psychosis. The joy, I get another chance to be called monotonous and negative. No, I don't know why I've reapplied either. Oh yes, that would be because of a severe lack of weekend jobs, I remember now.

Aaaaaaargh.

Andrew Collins appears to have stopped blogging because he's upset. This is awful if it is the case, partly because I really enjoy his blogs, and mostly because he totally doesn't deserve to be upset. I hope he is just busy.

Aaaaaaargh.

And it seems I won't be needing a costume to scare folk this Halloween, my natural look will suffice. Hurrah.

Aaaaaaargh.

The media and other idiots

I've been reading with interest the comments stemming from Andrew Collins comments about the LHC (which is a collider not a corridor, I am a mong). Not wanting to enforce my opinion about everything on Mr Collins, I thought I'd rant quietly in my own corner.

Attention was drawn to a report of an Indian girl who committed suicide over fears that the world was going to end. The thought being that the media are responsible for this girl's death.

Now, I am not shy of criticising the media for the sensationalistic lies they present as fact. I still get angry thinking about all the parents who did not get the MMR for their toddlers because they were anxious about the supposed link with autism. Measles is something your child can catch, autism is not. Nobody knows for sure what causes autism, but it is more than likely that it is something a child is born with and nothing to do with anything that happens after birth. Yet, even after the MMR link has been categorically disproven, there still remains lingering doubts and some parents still think they won't take the risk, thus leaving their child susceptible to measles, which can cause blindness, brain damage or even death, as well as endangering all the children who are too young for the vaccine and who would be even more vulnerable.

In 2000 in Worcester, we witnessed first hand the discrepancy between what was really happening (flood plain flooded) and what was reported on the news (Worcester underwater, all residents now amphibeous).

Having said this, the media provide what is asked for. The general public lap up sensationalist crap, evidenced this week by everyone thinking the LHC was interesting purely because we might all die and not because of the implications of the research. In fact, each and every quip about it added to the frenzy. We love to read of doom and gloom, people's downfalls and general errors, we buy the papers and watch the programmes. The sheer existence of celebrity magazines like Hello and OK show the public's need to indulge in speculative doom mongery, albeit restricted to cellulite and divorce. The truth doesn't sell, sensation does, and that is down to the public for buying it. One would hope that the public would in turn show a little discretion and exercise the ability to identify sensationalism and actually either accept that they don't know anything* about something, or find out the truth before acting upon a news story.

I wouldn't expect a 16 year old girl to have that ability, but one has to question her father for "diverting her attention" and not helping her find out the truth. You don't need to understand the science, you just need to know that IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

*the day Joe Public realises they are in fact an ignorant muppet will be a wondrous day.

Maestro

Being sheeplike and following the guidance of those I admire (Andrew Collins again in this case), I thought I'd catch up with the first two episodes of Maestro, something I was unaware of before. A reality show with celebrities learning how to conduct doesn't really sound like a lot of fun, but this is done very well with good celebrities. I like how this type of programme can bring out the best in a celebrity, unlike some other celebrity reality programmes which seem to exist merely to humiliate.

The celebrities on this are:

Peter Snow, who is immensely likeable (I have a huge Dad crush on him) and always good to watch, even when out of his depth.

Alex James, who is rather full of himself, but seems to have the ability here to show some humility and he still has fantastic hair, even if that is entirely irrelevant

Jane Asher, who still takes it very seriously and is a little too determined to be the best, comes across as more human than I have seen her before.

Katie Derham I was unaware of before, and I am feel inclined to dislike her based on the way she looks and speaks, but actually she's rather sweet and likeable.

Goldie, who is nothing like you'd expect and really incredibly down to earth and humble, is so likeable you simply can't help rooting for him.

David Soul is amusing and fun to watch, even if he is still rather aware of being a heart throb.

Bradley Walsh has never managed not to annoy me intensely, but he is rather sweet and little boy like here and I even find myself liking him, much to my surprise.

Sue Perkins - you can't not love both Mel and Sue, and Sue is her usual witty, clever and competent self here.

The music selected for the contestants to conduct is mainstream and pleasant (although I think they said it was to be opera next time so I may revise this) and Clive Anderson is mostly quite innocuous as presenter, with only the odd cringeable pun slipping in.

I agree with the first "evictee", that contestant was clearly the weakest, but I think personality won over ability with the second person to be eliminated. Having said that, I think the judges were possibly a bit harsh with the person that got saved. As the orchestra have the vote to save one of two people the judges deem weakest, you'd assume that they would have the best idea who is hardest to follow.

I think episode 1 is lost forever but episode 2 is still there on i-player to catch up on; otherwise it's on Tuesday nights on BBC2.

Blogging busy bee

Andrew Collins has been blogging a lot since I last looked. Typical, when I check feverishly (ish), there's nothing for years and years (ok, a few days) on end, then when I don't get round to it, he goes and blogs a lot (6 in a week, I can hardly talk. But I don't have readers like him now, do I? No. Huh).

I would like to add for anyone that ever sees CBeebies and knows the song about pets that's on Something Special and Tikkabilla that goes "and my dog does something something, and my cat she something and something and she... meows a lot" well, that's the tune that Andrew Collins "blogs a lot" to. In my head, not in real life. Well maybe he does, I don't know. He maybe sits and sings to himself "and I type and I write and I think and I blog... a lot".

A point? I don't know, my nose is dripping faster than I can keep up with tissues and it's exhausting me. I'm just feeling serendipitous because I finished my proposal, which is stupid of me as there was no serendipity, it was the result of relatively hard work and putting the effort in for once.

I think the point was that I ache to be able to write like Andrew Collins, just to be able to rattle off a flow of intelligence and not random ramblings. Maybe he spends all day editing and perfecting his blogs. But I doubt it. I should probably abbreviate his name to Mr C or something to save my fingers, but it's a nice name, I quite like writing it. Andrew Collins. Andrew Collins. It looks weird now.

A wish: I hope Richard Herring got plenty people for his show tonight.

Films

Well, one of my 101 things is to try to have seen at least half of the top 100 films. I've been trying to get such a list for some time, but I can't seem to get a definitive list. I tried to see if Andrew Collins had ever done one and got a bit scared by the 1-19 I could find. So I'm going with IMDb's one, theoretically it should be representative. Except the average person is a moron and I don't agree with their taste. But as the purpose is to not be an idiot with any film references, the widely agrees top 100 should cover the basic knowledge. And I don't like more films than I do like, so it stands to reason I'd dislike a lot of them.

So, here's the list and a note of which ones I've seen (the bold ones I've seen):

1 The Shawshank Redemption (1994) (overrated)
2 The Godfather (1972)
3 The Dark Knight (2008)
4 The Godfather: Part II (1974)
5 Buono, il brutto, il cattivo., Il (1966)
6 Pulp Fiction (1994) (never fancy it, enjoyable when I do watch it)
7 Schindler's List (1993) (brilliant)
8 One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975) (really good)
9 Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980) (just for Darth Vader
10 12 Angry Men (1957)
11 Casablanca (1942)
12 Star Wars (1977) (I do like this)
13 Shichinin no samurai (1954)
14 The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)
15 Goodfellas (1990)
16 Rear Window (1954) (One of those films that was fine without a remake)
17 Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) (I have seen this, in about 1981, I remember nothing)
18 Cidade de Deus (2002)
19 C'era una volta il West (1968)
20 The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001) (GODDDD. I slept through some)
21 The Usual Suspects (1995) (Amazing film, I love this)
22 Psycho (1960) (Probably would have been better if I didn't know everything that happened before I watched it)
23 Fight Club (1999) (Really good, but I kind of wish I hadn't seen it because it's disturbing)
24 Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964) (I can't abide Peter Sellers, he spoils this)
25 The Silence of the Lambs (1991) (Good, except I can't stand Jodie Foster's voice)
26 WALL·E (2008)
27 North by Northwest (1959)
28 Memento (2000) (Brilliant)
29 Citizen Kane (1941) (May have been amazing at the time, now it's tedious)
30 Sunset Blvd. (1950)
31 The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)
32 The Matrix (1999) (Good, but I always fall asleep, I don't think I've seen it all in one sitting)
33 It's a Wonderful Life (1946) (Just really nice)
34 Se7en (1995) (I liked this at the time, I can't remember now)
35 Lawrence of Arabia (1962)
36 Apocalypse Now (1979)
37 Taxi Driver (1976) (Don't remember anything about this other than the overused line)
38 American Beauty (1999) (More unnerving than good)
39 Léon (1994) (Astounding)
40 American History X (1998)
41 Vertigo (1958)
42 Fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain, Le (2001)
43 Paths of Glory (1957)
44 The Departed (2006)
45 M (1931)
46 To Kill a Mockingbird (1962)
47 A Clockwork Orange (1971) (Not as good as it's supposed to be)
48 Chinatown (1974)
49 The Third Man (1949)
50 Alien (1979)
51 Forrest Gump (1994) (I loved this at the time, there's been so many parodies it seems a bit sad now)
52 Leben der Anderen, Das (2006)
53 The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (1948)
54 Double Indemnity (1944)
55 The Shining (1980) (Don't remember enough)
56 Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) (Amazing)
57 The Pianist (2002)
58 Sen to Chihiro no kamikakushi (2001)
59 Saving Private Ryan (1998) (First 15 mins is fantastic, rest is tedious)
60 Laberinto del fauno, El (2006)
61 Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975) (Fantastically silly)
62 Requiem for a Dream (2000)
63 L.A. Confidential (1997) (I really liked this)
64 The Bridge on the River Kwai (1957)
65 Aliens (1986)
66 Boot, Das (1981) (Amazing)
67 Reservoir Dogs (1992)
68 Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) (This was the best film ever at the time, it's still really good)
69 Rashômon (1950)
70 The Maltese Falcon (1941)
71 Raging Bull (1980)
72 Untergang, Der (2004)
73 Metropolis (1927)
74 No Country for Old Men (2007)
75 Modern Times (1936)
76 City Lights (1931)
77 Rebecca (1940)
78 Singin' in the Rain (1952)
79 All About Eve (1950)
80 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
81 The Prestige (2006)
82 There Will Be Blood (2007)
83 Amadeus (1984)
84 Vita è bella, La (1997)
85 Sin City (2005)
86 Some Like It Hot (1959) (You can't not like this)
87 Hotel Rwanda (2004)
88 Sjunde inseglet, Det (1957)
89 The Great Escape (1963)
90 The Elephant Man (1980)
91 On the Waterfront (1954)
92 Nuovo cinema Paradiso (1988)
93 Touch of Evil (1958)
94 Full Metal Jacket (1987) (First section with training is amazing, the second part is same-as, same-as)
95 The Apartment (1960)
96 Batman Begins (2005) (I really liked this but there's some unnecessary bits that make it too long)
97 The Sting (1973)
98 The Great Dictator (1940)
99 Once Upon a Time in America (1984)
100 Jaws (1975) (Maybe I'd have been scared at the time)

So, I've seen 35. I need to see 15 more, and I am PRETTY sure that they mostly need to come from the bottom end of this list. I'd like to say in my defence of what I've seen that this is mostly dictated by the films that came out when I was a teenager and had little else to do other than go to the pictures, and the films other people have wanted to see. I need to exert a little film assertion.

People there should be clones of

I'm feeling talkative. Or, look, I'm procrastinating again.

Anyway, I've been mentally compiling a list of people that I think are great, for various reasons, and I feel I want to write them down before that particular train of thought gets endless delays before cancellation. Obviously, each of these persons is unique, so cloning would be futile, but in a perfect world these people would all be my friends and we'd hang out together. Clones might be more willing...

Ian Rankin. He's incredibly nice, incredibly interesting, incredibly witty and really really grounded. And he supports Raith Rovers.

Jasper Fforde. A fellow sufferer of my birthday, this man is a genius and I LOOOOVE his books.

Marcus Brigstocke. The most attractive man on earth.

Richard Herring. Because he is Richard Herring.

Andrew Collins. This man is the only person who should ever be allowed to review films.

Jason Byrne, Bill Bailey, Russell Howard, Ross Noble, Jeremy Hardy and the above three. These people make me laugh and laugh and laugh.

Danny Wallace. You can't not love him.

Bernard Butler. Because he plays guitar like no other.


A little sexist, perhaps? I don't like women much. Men do most things better. Leave it at that.

CNPS 10, 11, 12 and 13 today!!