A night out for the girls...

Off for dinner in Glasgow, arrive in Glasgow to be informed that I am staying over, not going home early as planned naively by me. The arm twisting was not excessive, I may add.

Slightly unconventional way to meet someone for the very first time: do come and drink wine in our hotel room and please don't mind if our toilet attacks you.

Yes. Attacked by a toilet. A torrent of water from a burst pipe, which was threatening to drown us all until we turned it off in absence of any action whatsoever from the hotel staff.

Room was pretty much unusable due to the several inches of water and now non functioning toilet, but unfortunately the hotel was full. Negotiations extracted a promise to be moved to another hotel "just across the river" at the end of the night. So off we went for a night out, procuring a free pizza completely unconnectedly in the process and returning as agreed to get a taxi to the new hotel.

Somewhat intoxicatedly negotiating a taxi and hotel with an Ian Fleming (that's not your real name?) we ended up in a taxi going a very, very long way away and depositing us at a rather posh castle hotel. Nice, but where the hell are we? Huge rooms, huge beds, fantastic televisions that didn't work. Our original hotel was being shared by Narcotics Anonymous, this one had a wedding party, and the bonus was that I was officially added to the party despite being a new addition. The strange man in charge provided us with coffee, wedding cake and about 1000 biscuits while trying desperately to put £1 onto a credit card "just because he had to put something through". A suggestion that he should be playing his flute damned near had me ending myself.

And from there on, it was perfectly normal...