Can't care, won't care

I'm all out of rant.
I'm so lost without it.

I don't care about anything any more. I mean, I do care a bit, I care a bit about a lot of things, but I don't feel evangelical about any of them. I want to. I want to have a subject to bang on about at the drop of a hat that isn't "aren't my children exceptionally talented and beautiful and polite and other things that are of no interest to anyone that isn't their parent?"

See, I care quite a lot about fish. I feel that people who bang on that "meat is murder" and then eat fish are a little hypocritical. Don't get me wrong, two of my most favouritist people in the entire world are pescetarian types, and anyone can eat what they like, but neither of these people are the "murder! murder!" types. I eat chicken occasionally despite being ostensibly vegetarian these days. I also eat jelly babies. I don't care what other people eat. Even fish. Unless it has a head or shell on, then it makes me a bit ill. That's just me, sorry, and it's fine -really! - if you do it when I'm not there. It just seems a bit wrong to say it's cruel to eat a chicken, but it's not cruel to eat a fish. But, I don't want to offend anyone and people are entitled to eat what they want (there aren't diminishing chicken stocks - not Knorr, don't be silly - but we'll not go there). If it's about taste, or preference, or dislike for farming methods, anything like that, fine, but do not tell anyone that it is murder to eat one animal and not another.

Incidentally, they make good pets, they are not just decorative and it does matter when they die.

And that's as passionate as I get about anything and I don't want to offend people so I need to retract most of it.

I care quite a lot about Boris. He is an idiot and I will happily explain why at any given chance. But I get a bit boring about that because it's all transport related. Mention the word "transport" and people glaze over. Also, being passionate about a hatred for a human being is not very nice. I find gleeful mirth at the fact that my clever, clever phone wants to correct "Boris" to "virus" and bore people occasionally.

Do you KNOW what he's wanting to do to traffic lights?

Oh. Ok.

I raise an eyebrow occasionally (rarely a sign of passion) at the reports on why *we* are so much happier in times of crunching credit because now *we* do things like walk in the park and have friends round to the house. Oh do *we*? *We* didn't do this before? What is the point in life if you don't enjoy the stuff that's just THERE? Were *we* that obsessed with things-that-cost-money?

Yada. People drink too much, too often. I don't. I don't see why almost all social occasions have to revolve around getting drunk. See fish comments for "best keep this to myself or I'll offend, well, everyone". Do you really need to be drunk to have a good time? Really? Oh, never mind, social skills aren't all that. Really? Moving on.

The environment. I care. I do what I can without unduly affecting my life. I'm a bit lazy. I think the people that can do anything aren't, and the people who know what they're talking about talk about the wrong things. And the wrong things are being done. It's hard to get passionate about something when you see what the other, more influential, people are doing and getting it wrong. Yes! I have changed all my lightbulbs! Yes, I don't use a tumble drier! Yes, I walk places! Oh, you're landfilling all my rubbish. That's grand. And where do I recycle these things? Hmm? Oh right. Paper only, or I can take bottles to the park. Great. Thanks for your help! Oh good, more biofuel, that's just what we need. Ach, I'll just turn the light on again.

Invasion of privacy: I'm too ignorant to care. Rights of the motorist? Selfish gits, get out and walk. Other things? Can't think of them so I clearly don't care that much.

And so we come to the end of everything I could care about, in a lot more than 140 characters.

Sigh.

Environmentally sheeplike

Well, because I have this tendency to believe pretty much anything a good comedian says, and to hold them in high regard for at least 45 minutes after seeing them, I automatically buy anything that is offered after the gig.

(Not including Richard Herring because I am STUPID and didn't go to the bar where he said he'd be and have the chance to SPEAK to him and buy his DVDs).

Mark Watson made a damned good impression, still lasting, and when he said "I am selling my books outside" off I trotted to buy his books. At this time, had they been books about his experiences watching paint dry, I probably would have bought them. He was utterly lovely and nice about my blatant queuejumping also, which was a bonus, although he doesn't seem like the type of bloke to say "no, evil queuejumper, get to the back and wait like the wench you are". Luckily, they seem quite good. I'm now reading the first one, "Crap at the Environment" which is so far very good. And funny, which is damned impressive for a book about environmental stuff.

A confession: my stance on Environmental issues was changed by Marcus Brigstocke last year; he was entirely convincing that maybe it wasn't all twaddle. And his lovely face is at the back of my mind when I do my lowly bits of goodliness, because well... "Yes, hello Marcus, lovely to meet you, I recycle most of my paper you know. Aren't I worthy of your friendship?"

And so, enjoying Mr Watson's views so far (and of course aware of any future fledgling friendships between us in Unlikely World), I visited http://actonco2.direct.gov.uk/index.html (no www. - very confusing) and discovered that I'm better than average and only slightly worse than I should be aiming for.

Luckily they had some advice for me to be better:

1) buy a new, better car.
Ummm. Yes. And pay for it how?
2) dry my washing outside.
I live in a flat. I don't use a tumble drier so would drying my washing in the car park actually benefit the environment?
3) unplug my digital radio when I'm not using it.
It's an alarm clock. Do I have to set another alarm to plug this one in prior to it waking me?

One day I hope to be mature enough not to base my actions/beliefs on the sayings of others, but in the meantime, intelligent and amusing* gentlemen can lead my way forward.



* ok, and attractive.