Girrrderrrs

An investigation into the wonder that is Irn Bru yielded some information that I feel compelled to share.

However, much of it comes from Wiki, naturally, which begins with:

Irn Bru (pronounced Iron Brew)...

Nooooooooo! It is so not!

Irn. No second vowel. And the oo of Bru is a shorter sound than the oo of brew. Irn Bru. Unpronounceable too. Remember?

But still. Onward.


Previously acknowledged facts about Irn Bru:

1) World champion hangover cure. Best served as a can, opened upon going to bed, drunk (down in one) a few hours later when the thirst of death awakens you. Should inebriation prevent this lack of preparation, then once the near death stage of hangover has passed, Irn Bru can be drunk and full health can be grasped at instantly. If full planning has been neglected, being able to journey to the shop to get Irn Bru and consume same will indicate that recovery has begun.

2) The only adequate accompaniment beverage to a chippy. In a glass bottle, which you save till you have about 18 empties and really need cigarettes, then you exchange them shamedfacedly at a different shop than you bought them in for cash/credit.

3) Nothing stains like Irn Bru. It's not so good for your teeth either. But ssssssh. It tastes smashing.

4) Irn Bru adverts are phenomenal. They are. Remember the ones from the 80s, I think I posted them before? Ahhh, the insanely strong red haired wee boy bending lamp posts and lifting a steamroller? The Forth Bridge, constructed from Irn Bru? The Coke advert parody? And newer ones... The cheery Goths? The cow that wanted to be washed down by Irn Bru when it became a burger? The Snowman parody? Brilliant, all of them. Hugely complained about which just confirms their brilliance.

5) Vodka and Irn Bru is very nice, never ever, ever order it for yourself.

So. New facts.

A.G. Barr was Andrew Greig Barr, brother of the original founder Robert Barr, and head of the factory in Glasgow where they began producing Irn Bru in 1901.

The name supposedly comes from being produced as a drink to stop steelworkers drinking so much beer. Hence Iron. And when it was changed from Brew to Bru on account of not being brewed, it became Irn Bru.

It may or may not outsell Coke in Scotland. Many tell that Scotland is the only country anywhere that Coke is not the best selling soft drink, but sources disagree. Whatever, it's either the best selling or nearly the best. And wiki tells me it's the third best selling (after Coke and Pepsi and ahead of 7up and Fanta etc) in the UK. Which is good, it used to be hard to source in England. I got distinctly excited in about 1990 at being able to purchase a can in Windsor, only to be told sniffily (as is the way in Windsor) that everywhere sold it. They probably thought we always sold Sprite too.

Robin Barr (great grandson or thereabouts), chairman of AG Barr, was/is one of only two people to know the recipe, and he mixed the essence once a month, which he was to continue after he stood down as chairman. In time he intended to pass the recipe and mixing duties to his daughter, Julie, which may or may not have happened by now. The other person who knows the recipe is not documented; they are not allowed on the same plane as Robin Barr. The recipe is written down and stored in a bank vault (just in case), presumably someone else has access to that or that's all pointless. There's a film in there. Been done? Not Scottishly enough if it has. Sean Connery could play Robin Barr.

There's more, but I have to return to my drink: a can of Diet Irn Bru. It's not the same, but it is nice.