Frustration

Meaningless tasks: The washing machine has been on 5 times. The clothes that were dirty this time yesterday are still dirty, the stuff that got washed was all clean then. Its one of those utterly pointless days that would have made no difference to anyone if it hadn't happened.

Look: no one's being sick. The night is mine to sleep in. So I'm blogging as I'm a bit thick.

More pointlessness: The Apprentice. I watched the first episode of this, I figured I had to see, and I can see the attraction. Watching a bunch of luvvies get their ego smashed could indeed be top entertainment. But sadly, they're all a bit crap. That's Britain's brightest business acumen? God help us.

Pointless past: house is off the market.
actually...

No. It's still there.
Useless tossbag.

But it will be off. The stuff that has been in storage since LAST JANUARY will be returned. Precious books mostly, because there's just not enough here.

Pointless thought: Oliver Milburn's a bit fit.

If this all seems familiar, maybe it is.

and now to sleep and to dream of doing things differently...

The point?

Gah. I've not blogged much lately.
There's not a lot to say.

Things to talk about:

The news.
We have:
Tributes to non celebrities that aren't dead yet
Shocking revelations that relatives of people that die are sad
(and a special one from the Scotsman...
Outrage that lawns are dug up while the ruined turf is replaced)

Music:
I am getting overexcited about music that was released 5 or more years ago.

Washing machines and toilets:
No, I'm not that interested either.

Books:
Struggling.

Exciting things that have happened here:
It was sunny. The woman in the papershop went to Benidorm.

Things on TV:
I've been watching Shameless, Mistresses, Pushing Daisies, Dirty Sexy Money and I've just missed the new Dave Gorman thing. Doh.

Bitterness and why I am useless today:
Nah.


So. Not a lot. I'll go and see if I have in fact missed Dave Gorman or if it's just about to start...

Not read

Mosey mosey round and round the net.

I've come across a list of the top 200 books as voted for in the Big Read by the BBC.

Anyway, here it be:

1. The Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien*
2. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
3. His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman
4. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
5. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J. K. Rowling
6. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
7. Winnie-the-Pooh by A. A. Milne
8. Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell
9. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C. S. Lewis
10. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë
11. Catch-22 by Joseph Heller*
12. Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë*
13. Birdsong by Sebastian Faulks*
14. Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier
15. The Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger
16. The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame
17. Great Expectations by Charles Dickens*
18. Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
19. Captain Corelli's Mandolin by Louis de Bernières*
20. War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy*
21. Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
22. Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone by J. K. Rowling
23. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J. K. Rowling
24. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by J. K. Rowling
25. The Hobbit by J. R. R. Tolkien*
26. Tess of the d'Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy
27. Middlemarch by George Eliot
28. A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving
29. The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
30. Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
31. The Story of Tracy Beaker by Jacqueline Wilson
32. One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel García Márquez
33. The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett
34. David Copperfield by Charles Dickens
35. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl
36. Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson
37. A Town Like Alice by Nevil Shute
38. Persuasion by Jane Austen
39. Dune by Frank Herbert
40. Emma by Jane Austen
41. Anne of Green Gables by Lucy Maud Montgomery
42. Watership Down by Richard Adams
43. The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
44. The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas
45. Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Waugh
46. Animal Farm by George Orwell
47. A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
48. Far from the Madding Crowd by Thomas Hardy
49. Goodnight Mister Tom by Michelle Magorian
50. The Shell Seekers by Rosamunde Pilcher
51. The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett
52. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
53. The Stand by Stephen King
54. Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy*
55. A Suitable Boy by Vikram Seth
56. The BFG by Roald Dahl
57. Swallows and Amazons by Arthur Ransome
58. Black Beauty by Anna Sewell
59. Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer
60. Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky*
61. Noughts & Crosses by Malorie Blackman
62. Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden*
63. A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens
64. The Thorn Birds by Colleen McCullough
65. Mort by Terry Pratchett
66. The Magic Faraway Tree by Enid Blyton
67. The Magus by John Fowles
68. Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett
69. Guards! Guards! by Terry Pratchett
70. Lord of the Flies by William Golding
71. Perfume by Patrick Süskind
72. The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists by Robert Tressell
73. Night Watch by Terry Pratchett
74. Matilda by Roald Dahl
75. Bridget Jones's Diary by Helen Fielding
76. The Secret History by Donna Tartt*
77. The Woman in White by Wilkie Collins*
78. Ulysses by James Joyce
79. Bleak House by Charles Dickens
80. Double Act by Jacqueline Wilson
81. The Twits by Roald Dahl
82. I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith*
83. Holes by Louis Sachar
84. Gormenghast by Mervyn Peake
85. The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy
86. Vicky Angel by Jacqueline Wilson
87. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
88. Cold Comfort Farm by Stella Gibbons
89. Magician by Raymond E. Feist
90. On the Road by Jack Kerouac
91. The Godfather by Mario Puzo
92. The Clan of the Cave Bear by Jean M. Auel
93. The Colour of Magic by Terry Pratchett
94. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
95. Katherine by Anya Seton
96. Kane and Abel by Jeffrey Archer
97. Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel García Márquez
98. Girls in Love by Jacqueline Wilson
99. The Princess Diaries by Meg Cabot
100. Midnight's Children by Salman Rushdie
101. Three Men in a Boat by Jerome K. Jerome
102. Small Gods by Terry Pratchett
103. The Beach by Alex Garland
104. Dracula by Bram Stoker
105. Point Blanc by Anthony Horowitz
106. The Pickwick Papers by Charles Dickens
107. Stormbreaker by Anthony Horowitz
108. The Wasp Factory by Iain Banks
109. The Day of the Jackal by Frederick Forsyth
110. The Illustrated Mum by Jacqueline Wilson
111. Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy
112. The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, Aged 13¾ by Sue Townsend
113. The Cruel Sea by Nicholas Monsarrat
114. Les Misérables by Victor Hugo
115. The Mayor of Casterbridge by Thomas Hardy
116. The Dare Game by Jacqueline Wilson
117. Bad Girls by Jacqueline Wilson
118. The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde
119. Shōgun by James Clavell
120. The Day of the Triffids by John Wyndham
121. Lola Rose by Jacqueline Wilson
122. Vanity Fair by William Makepeace Thackeray*
123. The Forsyte Saga by John Galsworthy
124. House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski
125. The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver
126. Reaper Man by Terry Pratchett
127. Angus, Thongs, and Full-Frontal Snogging by Louise Rennison
128. The Hound of the Baskervilles by Arthur Conan Doyle
129. Possession: A Romance by A. S. Byatt
130. The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov
131. The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood
132. Danny, the Champion of the World by Roald Dahl
133. East of Eden by John Steinbeck
134. George's Marvellous Medicine by Roald Dahl
135. Wyrd Sisters by Terry Pratchett
136. The Color Purple by Alice Walker
137. Hogfather by Terry Pratchett
138. The Thirty-nine Steps by John Buchan
139. Girls in Tears by Jacqueline Wilson
140. Sleepovers by Jacqueline Wilson
141. All Quiet on the Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque
142. Behind the Scenes at the Museum by Kate Atkinson
143. High Fidelity by Nick Hornby
144. It by Stephen King
145. James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
146. The Green Mile by Stephen King*
147. Papillon by Henri Charrière
148. Men at Arms by Terry Pratchett
149. Master and Commander by Patrick O'Brian
150. Skeleton Key by Anthony Horowitz
151. Soul Music by Terry Pratchett
152. Thief of Time by Terry Pratchett
153. The Fifth Elephant by Terry Pratchett
154. Atonement by Ian McEwan
155. Secrets by Jacqueline Wilson
156. The Silver Sword by Ian Serraillier
157. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest by Ken Kesey
158. Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad
159. Kim by Rudyard Kipling
160. Cross Stitch by Diana Gabaldon
161. Moby-Dick by Herman Melville
162. River God by Wilbur Smith
163. Sunset Song by Lewis Grassic Gibbon
164. The Shipping News by E. Annie Proulx
165. The World According to Garp by John Irving
166. Lorna Doone by R. D. Blackmore
167. Girls Out Late by Jacqueline Wilson
168. The Far Pavilions by M. M. Kaye
169. The Witches by Roald Dahl
170. Charlotte's Web by E. B. White
171. Frankenstein by Mary Shelley
172. They Used to Play on Grass by Terry Venables and Gordon Williams
173. The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway
174. The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco
175. Sophie's World by Jostein Gaarder
176. Dustbin Baby by Jacqueline Wilson
177. Fantastic Mr. Fox by Roald Dahl
178. Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
179. Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach
180. The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
181. The Suitcase Kid by Jacqueline Wilson
182. Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens
183. The Power of One by Bryce Courtenay
184. Silas Marner by George Eliot
185. American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis
186. Diary of a Nobody by George and Weedon Grossmith
187. Trainspotting by Irvine Welsh
188. Goosebumps by R. L. Stine
189. Heidi by Johanna Spyri
190. Sons and Lovers by D. H. Lawrence
191. The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera
192. Man and Boy by Tony Parsons
193. The Truth by Terry Pratchett
194. The War of the Worlds by H. G. Wells
195. The Horse Whisperer by Nicholas Evans
196. A Fine Balance by Rohinton Mistry
197. Witches Abroad by Terry Pratchett
198. The Once and Future King by T. H. White
199. The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle
200. Flowers in the Attic by V. C. Andrews

Oh how ashamed am I!! This, I think, is even worse than films.

The ones in bold I have read, the starred ones I have started but not finished. I have mostly read children's books. Oh dear. Oh dear. Somebody, somewhere said that the average adult has only read six of these, so I'm possibly marginally better than the average adult. Oh help. I think I really need to take "reading" off my CV.

I think just one of these appears in my 2009 list, so that's not going to help. I've got Great Expectations and Crime and Punishment by email as well, I suppose. I've read some books that would surely have made the list in the 6 years since this was compiled. That Curious Incident dog one. I read that.

I am going to Read. A. Book (or 200).

Sense

So Obama un-banned stem cell research.
Which would seem a tad sensible.

View a) of stem cell research
Could provide cures to, or understanding of, a variety of otherwise untreatable diseases.

View b) of stem cell research
Could result in the cloning of evil dictators.

Now, it may just be me, but I find comfort in the fact that one of the most powerful governments in the world doesn't think like the sort of people that think b).

Of course, I could take the opinion, as of one of the journalists in our local press, that all the stuff about American politics is a bit tedious, being as how we're British and not American.

But then again, howthefuckdidshebecomeajournalist?

The words "clueless" and "idiot" are floating around my head.

Oh to have a brain again

Boy, am I rubbish at reading. I have the attention span of a two year old.

Notes on books before I give misleading impressions about books that are most worthy:

Bye Bye Balham by Richard Herring is good. I need escapism and it's all real. Obviously. I'm a tit.
Lottery by Patricia Wood is also good, and interesting. It's been paused because it makes me think too much about things I don't have the energy to think about just now. I'm a wimp.

My brain is weighed down with the things I HAVEN'T read. I am not well read. I used to be, until I was about, ooh, 15. Books now need added to films under "things that everyone else knows about and I just don't".

Sigh. I know a lot about traffic lights. You know, I am actually looking FORWARD to getting my next essays. Osadami.

Lent and the demise of a pointless blog

Hmm. I was writing another blog about my progress in Lent. And it was pointless.
So here's the introduction:

I am not a religious person but I am by birth (and baptism) a Christian. I celebrate Christmas and Easter. I ate pancakes on Shrove Tuesday. I thought I should think about what it's all about:

chocolate
pancakes
eggs
more chocolate

I'm fairly sure of the Easter story. But the Lent bit is something I don't really know about.

I have learned:

It represents the 40 days Jesus spent in the desert being tempted by Satan. Christians use Lent as a time for prayer, penitence, almsgiving and self denial. Pancake Tuesday is a using up of all the fats and flour before the fasting begins. So called Shrove Tuesday because one is meant to shrive and achieve absolution before Lent begins.

It lasts more than 40 days because it doesn't include Sundays. Sundays during Lent are meant to be minor celebrations of Easter. As Wiki puts it "Jesus' victory over sin and death". Not entirely sure I go with the "victory" concept, but never mind. We celebrate something. That's assuming he was real and anything at all to do with God. If He exists. Whatever.

Unsure what Jesus did on Sundays. Possibly did 40 days straight, but we always needed Sundays off. Unsure also as to whether Sundays are properly exempt and you don't have to fulfil any of the other stuff, or if you just slightly act Easter-y.
Maybe have a Creme Egg on Sundays in Lent?

Right. So. I'm not religious. I said that. But neither are the other people around me who give up things for Lent. I never do. I usually give up something I don't do anyway. It was going to be solvent abuse this year... but I decided to have a think. It's being a parent, it makes you THINK. I never used to think, I merely opined. Now I do this thinking lark. Troublesome.

It's not about having-a-reason-to-diet. It's about grieving. And self atonement. And I'm a bit of the opinion that even though I don't believe in it all, if I'm going to eat chocolate on Easter Sunday, I should really pay attention to the other stuff. And so have answers to the perpetual "why?"

So, for Lent this year, I intended to record each day (except Sunday when I'd ponder other things) what I had done in the way of prayer, penitence, almsgiving and self denial.

However, I have found that I have little to record each day. So, a bit pointless and so bye bye to that.

What I learned:
Self denial: I'm not so good at self denial. Right now I need to go on a health kick so as not to feel cack all the time. So that's little to do with self atonement and a lot to do with survival.
Prayer: not going to happen.
Almsgiving: I give little to charity, I certainly don't do it every day.
Penitence: I would hope I usually make amends for what I have done wrong. I don't think I necessarily want to write it down. Maybe I should. I'm not going to.

Maybe it would be nice to record a daily moment of niceness. Hmm.

In which the author says very little of any importance

Gah. Feeling cack so haven't felt inclined to blog. Now I feel inclined to blog and haven't done anything to blog about. Been sidetracked by the Lent thing which was a dumb idea, it runs out in a couple of weeks and means I jot down daily inanities there. Ah well.

I have been reunited with some of my beloved books, including the two most precious to me. They were in trusted care, perfectly safe, but I was most pleased to see their little covers. Amongst my books were a couple that weren't previously mine, but that the giver wanted to pass on. One of these was one of the collections of round robin letters by Simon Hoggart. I have been completely sidetracked by this and so my quest to read more of my list has been temporary halted. I may cheat a little on that one in a day or two, just because I can. It's my list. Incidentally, Lottery is good, I'm just in a funny mood. I will finish that, it's not cast aside, I've just been distracted.

STV have axed Moving Wallpaper! I know it's not very good, I only watched the last series because I watched Echo Beach, which in turn I only watched because Jason Donovan was in it. But still. I like the cast and it's entertaining and I'd decided to watch it. But STV have dropped some ITV shows, that's one of them, and so tough titties basically. Watch it on ITV.com, on Microsoft Silverlight (thanks!) or don't watch it. I think I shall be going for the latter option.

I taped that Red Riding thing, mostly because Andrew Collins recommended it. I am convinced it is called Little Red Riding Hood, but then again I am convinced The Tiger Who Came to Tea won the Man Booker Prize. Methinks I spend too much time round small children.

Light at the end of the tunnel: a week on Tuesday the children and I are off to nursery to get them enrolled. They have a place (oh boy do they have a place) but this is the official "what do we do". So I can find out about what to do about the fact that neither of my children like wearing trousers and that one of them has a phobia of public toilets.

Aside from revolting coughs and general malaise, that would be that in MDworld.

Mort, Terry Pratchett and Alzheimer's

I've finished a book on my list! It only took a month!

Mort, by Terry Pratchett.
I really enjoyed this, it's very well written, very enjoyable and has mostly cured my fear of Death, or the personification thereof. I took an inordinate time to read this, partly through losing it and getting diverted by Richard Herring's Bye Bye Balham (which I can't get into for no good reason, I like it, but don't go back for more. Go figure) and partly through not being able to read with one eye.

I loved getting engrossed in the story of this, that's my favourite sort of reading. And so, despite having decided to read Ben Goldacre's book, I'm going to read Lottery by Patricia Wood, just because I want a story.

I finished Mort last night, and shortly before I did I watched the second part of Terry Pratchett's documentary about his Alzheimer's. I found the first installment of this fascinating, and while still moving, not completely heart breaking because they did not feature his family. He had with him his PA, Rob, who was involved and could comment on the changes, but who was not as involved as a family member. The second installment was rather more depressing as it did feature family members, not Pratchett's own family but the family of other sufferers. He also looked at potential treatment and considered the ethics. This is the first programme about Alzheimer's I've been able to watch and it was very informative and interesting.

Reading and enjoying a book by someone who clearly has an untterly brilliantly creative mind, and then watching him accept that he is on a journey which will end with the destruction of that brilliant mind, is all a almost TOO poignant. I feel rather lucky that I have all of his books to read anew, and a bit inclined to kick myself for ignoring them to date, but it will be impossible not to mourn the impending premature deterioration of a genius as I read the product of that genius.

Lent's nothing at all

Due to my ongoing pottiness, I've decided to do Lent properly. Sort of. While not being religious but still sort of acknowledging that this is what I'm eating chocolate for.

Anyway, recording it on a seperate blog (probably an inner acknowledgement that I may want to delete this and/or it's going to be cack) which is here.

I don't understand religion, or the religious. I'm not poking fun at them even if I am facetious. I would like to understand.

People are people

There's a debate going on at the moment:

"Do disabled people give children nightmares?"

You did read that correctly. Sparked by complaints about new CBeebies presenter Cerrie Burnell, who has one arm. Supposedly parents have complained about her, it's "disgusting" and "gives their kids nightmares".

I have two three year olds who are somewhat addicted to CBeebies. They haven't noticed or commented. They don't care. So where does the fear come from? Oh that'd be right, the parents. The parents who say, if asked, "yes, she's only got one arm but she can do everything Alex can". Or maybe they don't? Maybe THEY say "eeeew, that's gross". Maybe it's entirely down to them what the children think because CBeebies don't make it an issue. It's the parents that clearly have a problem with looking at someone that has a disabilities, and you'd expect grown ups, or pseudo grown ups anyway, to have a little more maturity and understanding.

When I first saw Cerrie, I did wonder about her suitability, because it's a very hands on job, because I thought she wouldn't be able to do all the arty things. But I have been proved entirely wrong, she copes magnificently and it makes no difference to her presenting skills. I was however impressed at CBeebies' ongoing effort to have disabilities incorporated into programmes without making a deal. Justin Fletcher (patron saint of children's television) and his programme Something Special are magnificent for treating children with varying severities of disability with no care whatsoever to their condition, which is wonderful, it takes away the fear and "difference" and makes disabilities just one of those things in everyday life. It means that children aren't going to be taken aback when they see disabilities in their own life, it promotes understanding and is highly commendable. The fact that Cerrie's disability did not exclude her from the job of children's presenter is a Good Thing. How can it be otherwise? She can do it, brilliantly.

Here she is, with co-presenter Alex (from BBC Press Office):



She's lovely. What sort of parent can put the ideas into their children's head, and for preschoolers, the parents do have to put the ideas there, that she's anything else? Responsible parenting is the problem here, not responsible programming.

EDIT: one of my three year olds came over just now and exclaimed "Alex and Cerrie!" and insisted I made that picture full screen. No fear there.

In my head today

My eye's still broken. It was all nice and healing and working and stuff, then it just went crap again. It's worrying me a little, it's not the same (bright red, watering and unopenable) it's gone sore and dry and a bit rubbish, ie I can't see very well. So I feel the need to rant. I've forgotten everything else I thought of, so I'll go with Jade...

I have issue with Big Brother et al and the way they put borderline maniacs on TV to laugh at them being manic. That's not on. I watched a couple of series of BB and Jade Goody's was one I watched; she is largely the reason I stopped. She was put on that show to be laughed at, because she is stupid. That's not nice or clever or particularly entertaining. Graham Norton made a joke of keeping her in, which bizarrely made him into her "fan", and she emerged a cult figure. Eh? She didn't have anything to make her that, other than a seemingly continual need to mock her. But on she went, megastatus, and then the Celebrity Big Brother debacle. I didn't actually watch that, could hardly miss it, but if you put someone lacking in certain attributes on TV to laugh at them, can you really be surprised if they behave badly? Is it her fault? Did she need to be public enemy no. 1? What was she doing with all the stuff that happened next?

And now she's dying they seem determined to milk every last drop of ridicule. Maybe she does just want the best for her kids, maybe her boyfriend is romantic enough to give his girlfriend a wedding before she dies. Maybe the media created something here and they could be gracious enough to let it go. You can't blame her, she is what she is and she has been given this status. What is happening now is tragic: a young girl, who has two small children, is dying. That is nothing other than sad, whoever she is, and it is not a media circus. Oh, sorry, it IS a media circus.

I don't understand the love and admiration for people that don't do anything. Beautiful people, talented people, shrewd business people, philanthropic people, inspirational people - there's something to be admired there, but the Jades and Chanelles and Kerrys are just there, not doing anything and being a national joke. And it destroys them. Who benefits there? Comedians maybe. Max Clifford, certainly.

Love and admiration for celebrities generally: I am less than enamoured with Twitter due to the idiots that frequent it. But some people are lovely and their tweets make me smile, so I remain addicted.

Blank

Been a crud week so far.
Eye injury flared up on Sunday. Until today I was wearing a patch and falling over a lot.
Not fun.
The amount of stuff I have to catch up on is scaring me.
I've forgotten how to speak to people again. Extremes aren't very nice.
I've forgotten everything I know, I think, my brain is a vacuous space.
And so, my need to chatter is serviced by 140 characters and blogging is an insurmountable task.

Funk. Hyper. Funk. Drama queen moment. Back to funk.

To obey

I have been asked to comment on this story about Salma Hayek, telling us why she chose to fly to Sierra Leone to breastfeed another woman's baby.

This is undoubtedly an act of amazing kindness and humanity, to show that it is a natural and wonderful thing for mothers to do.

The article states that infant mortality is high in Sierra Leone, that it is recommended that mothers breastfeed for two years in order to combat malnutrition, but that there is a stigma attached to breastfeeding, so few women do this.

I started writing along the lines of my usual rant about how formula isn't actually the devil's work and how it doesn't harm your child. I believe that the western world has gone too far towards "breast is best", that those who have to use formula are left unadvised and made to feel like they have failed. That's unfair and wrong and "breast is best" does get shoved down your throat to the extent that parents feel it would be wrong to ever allow formula to pass their precious infant's lips under any circumstances. Health professionals are not allowed to offer any advice that promotes formula feeding and the whole attitude and bombardment with posters and information does implant the "formula is evil" belief. As an asthmatic, with allergies to pretty much anything I could be allergic to, that was breastfed as an infant, with a formula fed brother who has no such things, as well as being the much despised mother who gave up and didn't do the best for her babies (why they'd want my antibodies at all is another question). I feel inclined to rant. I have two very healthy three year olds and have no regrets about formula feeding them - I had no choice but would have preferred not to have been criticised.

But that is not the issue here. I live in a country where I have good hygiene, access to a kettle, a steriliser and a fridge, and a supermarket supply of good quality formula.

For most mothers, breast is best. Those who cannot breast feed, and those who have to supplement with formula should get better support, but it does remain that breastfeeding is natural and good. The WHO recommends that all infants should be fed breastmilk until at least the age of six months, ideally until the age of two, based on those countries in the world (that's the W bit, there's so much more of the world that isn't us) that have substandard conditions and so would be unlikely to have quality formula or satisfactory infant nutrition. The people in these countries need to know that it is good and natural to breastfeed, that breastmilk can help to combat malnutrition in infants, that it is a wonderfully healthy thing to do for mother and child.

An infant cries when it wants fed. It screams its little lungs out. It wants fed now. Like right now. Immediately. No, not when you get to a convenient location. Now. It screams louder. And so you have to feed them where you are (within reason). It is quite wonderful that our society now is such that a mother can sit and discreetly breastfeed a baby - and they are discreet, you'd have to go and peer behind the baby to see - without causing offence.

There are those who are offended, they should be shot.
There are those mothers who make a scene and are not discreet, who make sure the whole world knows what they're doing, and who it would be nice to shoot. Grudgingly, their sort should be thanked for the fact that it's now acceptable, but can someone please tell them it's time to stop making a scene?

Other countries do not have that luxury, it is still a stigma. And for that reason alone, what Salma Hayek did is quite remarkable. To demonstrate that it is a good thing to do, to show that it need not be something women are uncomfortable doing.

I didn't think I was going to say that.
I meant to say that you could have flown a lot of Aptimel to Sierra Leone for one Salma Hayek.
I think formula has a number of benefits, I think formula needs to be de-demonised.I don't think wet nurses are the future, I don't think a mother that cannot produce milk should get another woman's milk. I don't think that's the answer, I think good quality formula should be made available if the mother cannot produce her own milk.
For that reason I was going to say Salma Hayek did the wrong thing.
But that isn't the point, she wasn't providing milk, she was making a statement and what a wonderful statement that is:

"Look at me, I am doing something wonderful, and it is so wonderful I will travel across the world to do it for another woman's child."

What is wrong with people?

When I think about the people I share this country with, I feel two emotions: shame at being British and a massive desire to leave Britain permanently.

I believe Holland is nice.

Yesterday, I was listening to a conversation between two people I respect and admire. They were discussing the Carol Thatcher/golliwog thing, laughing and reminiscing about things that we, as Brits, used to do that were appallingly racist. The comments were along the lines of "things were different then" and an underlying sentiment that is was excusable because "we didn't know any better".

No it wasn't.

Did we really need people to come along and tell us that it is wrong to call people names and that the colour of your skin doesn't make you a lesser person? Did people not feel that within themselves? Were the Crusades fine, because it was a) long ago and b) Christian? What about the acquiring of the British Empire, and the way it was run? Slavery? Was that ok... because we didn't know any different, times were different then? Nonsense. It was just not popular to actually have a shred of humanity. Some people did and had the gumption to speak out and thank god they did or we'd still be living in a nasty racist society...

Hang on. This is 21st Century Britain. We'd be appalled at using terms to describe people by colour. Nasty nasty words are stamped out. Huzzah! Thank goodness everyone was so pleased by the Eastern Europeans arriving! Imagine if we'd been prejudiced against them. Even though they weren't from the "nice" new countries, you know, the ones that used to be British.

I read responses to an article from the Daily Mail some months ago. There was the initial article, then there was the reader responses (as you'd expect) and then comments on the forum I was reading it on, responding to the whole lot.

The story: a number of Eastern Europeans (I'm not being deliberately generic, I can't remember where they came from) had come to Britain looking for work, believing that this was the best thing for them. These were people who genuinely wanted to work, who wanted to make a better lives for themselves. Yet when they arrived here, there was none of the promised work or life for them and as a result they had ended up living on a roundabout.

The overall response to this?

"Ugh, it really does make the roundabout look nasty". "I'm so glad that's not in MY town". "Who do these people think they are, coming to our country and spoiling our roundabouts?"

Hello???????????????????????????

The story there is "look how our country let these people down". Not "ugh, nasty dirty foreigners".

Yet it was OK to say these things? No one felt embarrassed?

Back to Carol Thatcher. Freedom of speech? Excuse me?
How about "I'm sorry I caused offence, I didn't mean it offensively"?
No. that's too hard. "We" can't apologise. "We" have the right to be offensive if "we" didn't mean it offensively. "We" don't need to explain. "We" don't need to retract our comments if other people are offended, clearly that's their ignorance or political beliefs clouding their judgement.

The Sachs debacle: with the vastly overhyped nonsense, at least Russell Brand used the little exercised thing called "an apology". He could still be arguing the "it was a joke, we didn't meaan any offence, I feel my freedom of speech has been compromised by the whole furore" and taken the usual stance. But he didn't, he gave a dignified, and seemingly sincere, resignation speech and, I feel, did the right thing. I believe Wossy also apologised, I must be fair, but I am a little sickened by the return of the prodigal son effort that's been going on since his return.

It never hurts to say "sorry, I didn't mean it". That doesn't necessarily excuse what you said, but it helps.

******

We're living in a nanny state now, it seems.
Evidence for this?

The government recommended that we should dance for exercise, presumably based on the slightly mystifying obsession with Strictly Come Dancing et al.

and

The government advisers, having been asked to study the effects, recommended that children should not be given any alcohol at all even at home until they are 15 because their bodies can't deal with it.

Recommendations. Not "this is how you must live your life" or "we are telling you how to bring up your children".

For God's sake!!!!!

And there's the MMR thing. Does anyone still believe that? Oh yes, they do. Thank you, hype. Thank you for directly causing the death of children to a disease that had all but been wiped out. I think I mentioned that before...

I'm done now. Please note the sarcasm and don't shoot me for being literal. Thanks.

Everyone should read this

This sums up the MMR debacle rather well. And this is from the man himself.

Please click on those, they're ever so important to read.

It is unbelievable that measles is on the increase and that parents STILL have doubt; as previously stated I had a fleeting, well, what if... There is no link with autism, there never has been and measles is dangerous. What more do you need to know?

This is a hero: bookmark Ben Goldacre's webhome.

Freak out!

I've been doing rather a lot of that lately: freaking out. For no particular good reason, just overreacting and getting irate. So getting constantly wound up by a pair of naughty three year olds renders me shrieky. The last couple of days it's hurt to shriek. In the chest area.

Immediate hypochondriac diagnosis: heart attack.

This is unlikely give that a) I'm 34 and b) it is unaccompanied by any other symptoms of the heart attack. No, my left arm is not sore, it's got pins and needles because I'm leaning on it.

Logical thought: in people that have a heart attack, there must be increased blood flow etc that causes a heart attack in times of stress and getting very shrieky. Presumably this always happens and only ends in a heart attack in those susceptible. So it's normal. Just overstressed.

Illogical thought: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! I'm definitely going to die! I know people who've just dropped dead of a heart attack that were younger than me and not 100% definitely on drugs. My boys need a mother! I have nightmares about dying anyway!

I think I might go and chat to the nice nurse about methods of destressing. And nursery starts in 10 weeks. (I had the date wrong before, blimmin' Easter's late this year, isn't it?)

Deep breaths. Have an aspirin. Just in case. Eat nothing but bulgar wheat. Just in case.

Why it's preferable to be a hermit

The world's gone mad.
No.
That's incorrect.
The world is mad.

Either that or I'm mad.

Hmm.

Rising grumpitude

I appear to have lost the art of talking to people without shouting at them.

I'M IN A BAD MOOD, OK?

See?

Sigh. It's just because they're rubbish. It's not because I'm grumpy. No. It's not.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M GRUMPY????

No. Don't get upset. I know it wasn't you. I didn't mean to shout. Oh. Don't cry. I feel bad. I'm just in a bad mood you know.

I AM NOT ALWAYS IN A BAD MOOD!

Ok, ok, I'm going now.

25 random meme things

This is from facebook and most of it is stuff I go on about here anyway.
But I'm in a crabbit mood and so can't be bothered doing more than pasting. The tagging thing (25 people? 25?) doesn't apply obviously. It's facebook. Mindless. Easy. Me me me me me me me me. Feel free to do it. You won't though.

25 random facts about me:

1. I know that all of the 25 people I tagged won't like this. I'd like to know facts about all of them though.

2. My children are actually the cleverest in the world.

3. I really enjoy learning about traffic related things. Traffic policy is interesting and virtually everything I learn I become passionate about. Even traffic lights.

4. I cannot stand Boris Johnson. He's a bumbling oaf.

5. I think Marcus Brigstocke is the most attractive man on the planet.

6. I'm a mostly rubbish friend and any time I speak to one of them I am ashamed by how rubbish I've been. I don't mean it, I love all my friends but I don't think they know it.

7. I am incapable of budgeting.

8. My brain does still work and so far I'm coping with an MSc on woefully little work.

9. I am very worried that no 8 does not apply any more.

10. I am at my most alert at midnight.

11. I would like to live in Manchester.

12. I'd quite like a little girl but seriously don't think I could go through it all again.

13. My hair is excessively grey, or it was till I coloured it last night.

14. I don't have any concrete goals in my life. I'm not sure what I'm aiming for. I never have. I have rough ideas but I don't actually know what to wish for other than immediate "pass exams" etc.

15. My house has been on the market for one year this week. Never mind.

16. I am completely addicted to the internet and social networking.

17. My children are very polite and are a credit to me (mostly) when we're out. They drive me nuts but they're ever so nice and they're a lot of fun to be around. I feel lucky to be around them all the time. I don't feel lucky all the time. I should.

18. I think we should all cycle everywhere where it's possible.

19. I don't have a bike.

20. I can be cured a hangover by Irn Bru and iceberg lettuce.

21. I should never ever drink red wine.

22. Seemingly by coincidence, I got into Twitter the same week everyone else did. I joined a year ago.

23. I like to talk a lot. I love being on my own as well though, with the kids around all day, it's valuable time. Usually it's going to Asda, but hey, it's alone time.

24. I am going out in ten minutes and the kids aren't ready. Will be late. Am always late.
was true at 4.49

25. Yahtzee is my favourite waste of time just now.

Twitterific

To be entirely boring: Twitter and iPhone. Tune out now.

Twitter is amusing me lots. For some reason everyone I asked to join, did. Maybe because I didn't ask everyone-I-know and asked the ones that possibly might be interested in my updates. Just the one missing, who will be returning to normal life tomorrow and will hopefully comply.

Richard Herring joined hours after I suggested he did on his guestbook. This may be complete coincidence, but if it is true, then how marvellous is the internet? To be able to say "hey you, this is great, try it" to someone who has no idea who you are, someone who you'd like to read about, and they do. Not because it's you*, obviously, but because it's a cool thing.

*delusional daydreaming aside

There's all manner of other stalkerworthy people on there and I am reminded of how amusing Chris Addison (the second most attractive man on the planet), Dave Gorman and Stephen Fry (the patron saint of Twitter) actually are. And then I added people I don't actually normally think about, like Phillip Schofield (who's very interesting and I had nothing against him, just didn't think about him) and Jonathan Ross (who I may delete, he's a bit annoying, which is always is, slight error of judgement). Ben Goldacre (new hero) has interesting little snippets.

It's a bit strange, like blogging lite. But it's sort of the opposite of stalking, those who wish to be stalked provide the information so the stalkers can legitimately read it. Which is a little weird really. But hey. Look at me getting all giddy over some celebrity tweeting. They're not ACTUALLY talking to me, I'm just reading it.

Of course there's the lovely thing of updates from friends. Always nice. And more important than the above starry eyed awe would indicate.

Come play. Click the link over there and join the mindlessness. There is no point, that's the point.

Daily iPhone love: I got Tweetie for it. I did. I'm so sad. I paid £1.79 for it, but oh it is nice. And while I was throwing money at Apple, I downloaded Yahtzee Adventures. I love Yahtzee. I actually wore out the section of the screen on my Palm where the "roll again" button was (this is why you want a screen that functions like the iPhone or G1, not like the B****b***y or any other W****** mobile device). It's ace. I could play Yahtzee forever and this has a bizarro adventure mode. Best game ever (that doesn't feature Mario).

Gratuitous picture of Chris Addison:

NB Still reading Bye Bye Balham by Richard Herring. It's great. Buy it from here . While you're at it, buy this from Amazon, it's fabulous.