12 days of iTunes

I am not loving iTunes. I don't usually love iTunes much on account of it being the guffest piece of software ever to exist, but the non-love is expanding.

Each Christmas they do their "12 days of Christmas" giveaway; every day for 12 days, starting boxing day, they give away a free something. Lovely, but it is highly possible that it is not done out of altruism. No, really.

I have a 16Gb iPhone 4. This is plenty for my normal use, for the number of photos and songs etc I choose to carry. I don't have any videos. That's me, personally, not getting any. I bought a tv episode once, watched it, deleted it. I am very wary of iCloud so I have that backing up my photos only. Distrust distrust.

And so I see that iTunes are offering me a free episode or seven of a tv show or nine. In HD! Brilliant! 1.5Gb a pop. The songs that they give away all come with videos and look, I seem to have run out of space. Hmm. How can I overcome this? What could I do to give myself more room? Maybe a new product? An iPad maybe, or a nice big iPod? Maybe a Mac too?

To accommodate all the things I don't want. That iTunes give me and dupe me into downloading them by making them free for one day only - but what if I wanted it later? I would surely die if I hadn't got it for free! On one day they gave me a song I'd actually already bought at great personal angst (I don't often buy new stuff). On another day they gave me sonic racing which is marvellous (and very mario kart-y). I like that. Ssshh. I dutifully downloaded the Top Gear episodes I won't watch. I have now deleted these. I resisted today's, it was a song I dislike. Sense reigned briefly.

I have had it pointed out to me by Grumpypants that I could download to my computer. I shall not be doing this on account of the following:

My computer is a piece of junk and probably has less free space than my phone.

My computer is a piece of junk and I only use it under duress. Indeed, I will use my kindle to access Internet sites that insist of loading the mobile version on the phone. The Kindle is better than the computer, not least because it can't run iTunes.

If I did want to move anything to my phone, I would have to connect the phone to the computer, and I don't do that for fear of the Bad Things that happen when the phone syncs with iTunes. And a reluctance to spend 16 hours doing the sync.

So. Thanks for Sonic Racing. I won't be buying any Apple products to run it on. Unless I come into some money. In which case I probably would buy a lot of Apple products. Which renders this...

And the news that isn't is...

So.
I love my job. It's ace. I've been there a month, the rot will set in soon I'm sure. For now: happy chapette. Free time is now zilch, as I've gone all domesticated and joined a cleaning cult.

Explanations may be forthcoming. They may also not be.

Boys are all settled in at school and being ever so grown up. And astonishingly clever. Well, not THAT astonishing, being mine and all, but impressive all the same.

New most needed: a Kindle.
Yes, I have the Kindle app. I like. It's not so kind on the eyes. Yes, an iPad would probably be better. They cost a LOT more and are less handbag friendly. Oh, and the Kindle isn't made by Apple and so it may still work after a year. Grrrr. Ongoing 3G trauma. The general solution appears to be: upgrade to an iPhone 4.

I quite like the Sony Ericsson X10 Mini. It would do my head in due to its lack of iPhoneness within about an hour, I think, but a concerted perusal of phones yielded but one contender for anything beyond "meh": the X10 Mini. Not Pro, which is less Mini and loses the appeal. Keyboard Schmeyboard. If it gets Froyo, and I am such an Apple deserter for even knowing what that is.

I think my 3G operating issues are punishment for siding with the Androids. iOS 4.01 was unusable. 4.1 was hunky dory for a bit. Now: a bit (big bit) SLOWWWWW. But usuable, if sigh inducing. Number of sighs is directly proportional to desire for an N8. Oops. I know.

So. Therein lies all anyone would need to know about the Kindle.

I do like books. Lots and lots and lots: they have words in them. I like to go back to them as and when I feel like it. I have 1000s of them, and that's after serious culling (to charity, I will not bin a book, not even a Michael Moore). They take up a lot of room and have the following failings:
They're not that easy to hold.

If you want a book asap, you have to get a giant format (hardback or pointlessly big paperback). If you want to take such book anywhere while reading it, you need a small suitcase to carry it in.

They go yellow.

They take up a lot of room.

They cost more in print format than in ebook format.
Yes. That is correct.


All hail Amazon. Which we have been doing since ever they started but really, huzzah! The Kindle is (probably) a marvel.

Other reasons to love Amazon: Universal Wish Lists. Marvellously fantastic for deluded moments. You Never Know.
And, more realistically, useful for spouses who have "no idea".

This is (almost) the best time of year. Digging out warm clothes, dark evenings, the anticipation of Halloween and "goodness ME the shops have got Christmas in very early this year. Of course, I've started buying already..." and a stupendously grand TV schedule. Autumn TV rocks. I love it all, that fizzing almost about to think about being winter time of year. Brilliant.

I am particularly jubilant as I wore my down filled jacket today. I heart that.

Voici. Every thought I've had since last time I thought. All for you to enjoy.

A bientot. It is time for the sleeping.

iPhone and Nokia and being very boring

Having met a rather nice Nokia 5800, I am now contemplating the next phone, for a tedious nonchange. Which shouldn't be too soon because my iPhone is after all only 9 months old, despite being contractless now, and I'm not actually an idiot. The next logical step would be another iPhone, because despite many failings, I do love it and I do especially love all my apps. But there is the huge fact that I can't afford another one, unless the current ones survives until the mythical compensation and/or job time. I couldn't really afford this one; despite having a refund on my last PDA to enable the purchase of the actual phone, the 18 months at £35 have crippled me. And as David Cameron is clearly going to win the election and stop Child Benefit (my only income), I need to think cheap and functional, two adjectives that are never applied to the iPhone.

Current contender is the Nokia X6. Which is sadly lacking in iPhoneness, but is cheap.
Sometimes. And it is a Nokia. I like Nokia.
Why didn't Nokia go with Android? A while ago so they can make affordable Android phones like Samsung?
Could I live with a Samsung? Do I really need a Radio Times app? Can I stop going on about it?

iPhone 4.0 and other reasons to be in a bad mood.

Yips. iPhone 4.0 announced today.

Main points that I got from this much anticipated reveal:

1) Multitasking - the biggy, the inevitable - won't work on iPhone 3G. That's right. My one. The one I got 9 months ago, albeit as an insurance replacement (and before you ask, home insurance, not rip off phone insurance) and so 9 months into my contract (now complete) and so am not remotely ready to replace. Gah.

2) iAds. Oh goodie. So ads can run within apps, so you don't *have* to click them. Because you *really* want video ads playing on your iPhone screen when you're using an app. The joy.

3) Folders. Real genuine joy now, folders. Not littered icons, folders. Apple decreed folders, but folders.
Must work on 3G or I'll, I'll, I'll... go and buy a 3GS or something. Grrrrrrr.

Don't have money for 3GS, or I'd have one. Huh.

There are 7 new things, supposedly. Yeah. I got 3 and stopped caring, mostly through being in a big huff about the 3G not multitasking thing.

Making a device that doesn't do all it can because of software limitations, so new software can be leaked later as a reward for being loyal (duped) customers, is just evil/genius.

Apple, I hate you. Hate hate hate.

But you do make very nice things. Damn you.

More reasons to hate Apple:

Aforementioned iPhone 3G has been iffily iffy for a while. So I did a restore to factory settings.

5 hours. 5 hours!!! 5 hours it took to backup, format (or whatever it does) and restore settings as before. Why? Is it JUST because I'm running iTunes on a windows PC? Is it really? And why does iTunes decide which settings I want and which applications to restore? Shouldn't that be up to me? How many times do I have to tell it that I don't have Outlook, and shouldn't telling it NOT to sync contacts be enough to stop it trying to fecking install Outlook?

(no, and no)

iTunes/App store. Leaves you logged in. So if you accidentally tap a "buy" icon in a shit app, you immediately upgrade!!! Hurrah! £1.79 on a shit app! The joys of iTunes are unending.

I don't want/need/have any use for an iPad.

But. I do really want one.

Why? Because I use my phone incessantly and would like a nice big version. Because it's shiny. Because I am a fool.

What I really need is a MacBook. Or an iMac. Yes. I want both of those too.

See? Hate. Subliminal messages telling me I need an iPad. My sons refer to Comet (nearest Apple merchant) as "Mummy's computer shop". They try to sell me stuff, I tell them they don't have to, I don't have any money, I just like looking. And touching a bit.

I am at the end of my contract. I could be free. Nope. iPhone Simplicity, here I am!! Until I eke some money from somewhere and gets me a new iSomething.

Save me Nokia, please?



Typed on iPhone.
Researched on iPhone.
Admittedly not exactly researched but the knowledge vaguely imparted above was gained via iPhone.
iLovemiPhone.

Finding Maemo

Apple are scumbags. They really are. Suing everyone else, even though they pinched stuff from Nokia themselves. Huh. Not content with the fact that NOTHING comes in the box and no add on is compatible with two devices, they provide a mega phone with blatantly obvious features missing so they can add them to future products. Diddy camera. No MMS. Pah.

Nokia are marvellous. They made phones what they are. They don't compromise, they didn't like Android so they produced Maemo. The N900 is a beast indeed. When my contract runs out in May I should show my support for the mighty Nokia and give no more pennies to the evil Apple. Either go for the N900 or accept that I'm skint and get myself a very inexpensive and does everything I need X6.

Except...

The X6 is Symbian. Old news. And Grumpypants IS getting a free Nexus One. The N900 is the first Maemo device. Danger danger. New Nokias tend to be buggy. And there's very, very few apps. Which is the biggest selling point of the iPhone. I likes my apps. I likes my iPhone. It's lovely. It doesn't do all the things it should but it has splendid apps and I love it. It is my baby.

I know. I dithered and hmmed and ended up with an iPhone 3G. I'm going to end up with an iPhone 4. I know I am. And if I'm selling my soul and giving my money to the Evil Man, then I may as well hanker after an iMac some more.

Bad me.

iPhone stuff for UK people

Yes. IPhone. Yes. UK.
Sorry. You're reading it aren't you? Can't say you're unwarned.

For several pounds you can purchase a book telling you such gems as to how to navigate the hugely complex app store and how to choose the apps that are right for you. Yes, really! You can get reviews of apps and general guidelines but to date these seem to be written by people with little concept for real life.

Ah yes. They're aimed at iPhone owners. I forgot.

Well, I have an iPhone too, a plebian 3G not a glittering 3GS but still... And I naturally have marvellous taste so here is (da da da da daaaa) my list of apps that are splendid for my iBaby. Some free, some paid, I can't remember which. They don't cost much.

Most importantly, games:

Flight Control.
You draw a line on the screen to guide the planes to their runways. Simple but great.

FallDown
Guide a ball down gaps in lines before the screen moves down and squashes the ball. Even simpler, still great.

Everest: The Hidden Expedition
Vague adventure guides you through various screens where you have to find various objects hidden amongst an array of miscellany. Short, but repeatable and enjoyable.

Yahtzee Adventure
Because Yahtzee is possible the greatest game on earth.

Moodpad
Not actually a game, just a thing to draw purdy pics. Mindless timewasting at it's mindleast.


Less important than games, but still important, utility type apps that make life easier:

Sleep Cycle
Put your phone next to you while you sleep and it monitors your movement. The alarm wakes you when you are in a phase of light sleep, which enables you to wake up refreshed. It also shows you a graph of your sleep phases and keeps track of how much sleep you've had. It does seem to work. Many reviews of this state that it can't work if you share a bed but luckily my husband spends little time on the far side of my pillow so it's ok. So far, I have woken easily with the alarm, but have discovered I don't sleep enough (really??!!) and that I have very little deep sleep.

Radio Times
It tells you what's on the TV.

Shopper
Because there's nothing that makes you look quite so much as a tosser as ticking off your shopping on your iPhone. But it works well, useful if you have a rapidly diminishing memory.

Blogpress
Allows blogging for those who are insane and/or who can't use a real computer. Not perfect, but pretty good and as Blogger Does Not Work (very well) via the usual website on iPhone, this is the best alternative to the real thing.

Tweetie
Good for using Twitter. Not that much use for anything else.

iPeriod
Keeps track of psychotic days.

Shazam
Ok, so everyone's already got that, I'm still impressed. Hear song, get told what it is, buy it. Just like that. I love.

Sky Sports Football
Keeps track of husband's psychotic days

Flixster
Surprisingly useful movies app. Facebook makes you get it.

Lego Photo
Turns any photo into a Lego picture. Why would anyone not want that?

The Weather Channel
Because the built in weather app is rubbish.

RAC Traffic
Load it up, tells you what traffic problems are in the area, which is knows via GPS. Brilliant. Some people say it's useless, I propose they get burnt at the stake.

Ikea UK
The entire Ikea catalogue on your phone. Yes. That's it.



Sadly it has been categorically proven that anyone who reviews apps is a moron, therefore I am a moron and all the above should be disregarded.

The flaws of the iPhone

In light of much iPhone adoration, following the arrival (almost) of the iPad, I feel it only just to point out that failings of my beloved.

The lack of the ability to run things in the background is ridiculous. You can't, for example, be logged into Google Talk and get notified if someone wants to talk. No, you have to sit with just Google Talk open. You can play music in the background, but then everything is s-l-o-w.

It is very slick and lovely to look at, but only having one button puts an awful lot of strain on that one button.

It doesn't have a homepage despite the fact that it claims to. It has a display of apps. It doesn't have a customisable page with links to apps. You can't put your own background on. You can't have diary reminders or widgets on your homepage, because it's not a homepage. You can rearrange the icons for your apps. Woop.

It doesn't have a removable battery. Which means it doesn't have a replaceable battery.

It is very expensive and all the accessories are very expensive. In true Apple style, accessories for one model tend not to work on the next model. There is no good reason for this other than the fact that this makes Apple money.

The camera. Why so rubbish? Oh that's right, Steve Jobs reckoned people wouldn't want a camera. Right then. No secondary forward facing camera, no zoom, no flash, piddly MP, no features at all.

I have to complain about the fact that MMS and cut & paste were only there after OS 3 came out. Why????

There's the needing iTunes and iTunes not liking Windows thing, but I already complained about that.

Minor quibble: the autocorrect is infuriating. Reading for reading, and correcting all its to it's is ANNOYING. I have however finally worked out how to do caps lock. It's not that difficult: double click shift. Duh.

I have to stop now. I feel disloyal.

These failings make the iPad, which has the same - and indeed more - failings, a big disappointment. But I already said that. Many times.

The iPhone is stunning and quite wonderful to use. I have used it as my computer for almost a year and I have survived happily. But it has its faults and I can admit them.

Sob!! Back to iLove.

Apple iPad - a nobody's opinion

Jumping on the bandwagon here as everyone* else is blogging the same thing, but Apple sent me the blurb about their new tablet this morning and so it's on my mind.

* not actually everyone. Some people.

The iPhone is quite probably the greatest thing I have ever owned. I love almost everything about it. There are two big things I don't love:

1) it relies heavily on iTunes, you have to have a computer alongside it.

2) iTunes isn't exactly happy on a PC. I know it would work bette on a Mac. I suspect that's not an accident.

So the new iPad. It does (almost) everything the iPhone/iPod Touch does. But it's big.









It still needs a computer and iTunes, so it doesn't replace the computer. I had a moment of joy when I mistakenly thought it was a proper computer and I could ditch the iTunes/Windows discord for a possible price. No. It does what the iPhone does. Except it doesn't make calls. The 3G option is data only, it's not a phone. So it's not quite as good as an iPhone. It's just big.

You can watch TV and videos and so on on the lovely screen. Much like a television then. Or a computer. Woop. It has HD, which of course is unheard of in a television.

Ok. I admit, I do get the attraction. Especially if you don't currently own an iPhone. The ability to connect anywhere is great. But why is is just a big iPhone? Why isn't it a proper tablet computer? Why doesn't it stand alone and do things a computer does rather than being another companion to your Mac? Yes, Mac, Windows users, like me, don't get full functionality. It does, mostly work, but sometimes it just has a moment and you know it's all down to its disgust at being operated through a PC.

It's something extra, another thing to add to your gadgets. The main benefit being the big screen, but I'd be inclined to go for the pocket sized iPhone and for the vast number of times you want to watch something away from a television, a small screen probably does. If there's a television then a line out cable's a lot cheaper. Or if you want a laptop then a laptop's probably a good bet if you can overcome the hideousness of a real keyboard and actually being a computer.

So. Apple iPad. Like the iPhone but big. Anyone who doesn't already own an iPhone isn't going to spend money on a big iPhone. This is for Mac lovers with more money than sense. To complete your Mac collection. Yes, I would. I have even less money than sense sadly.

Overuse of the word "big" in this blog was necessary. It's the point. If you want some actual detail just sit there and it will infiltrate your consciousness, it's everywhere. Bandwagon and all...

Blessings

Happiness today came in the form of:

(1) Snow. (as previously mentioned. It lingers. It falls some more).

It's pretty. It requires the wearing of hats, boots, scarves, big coats and gloves. It's an excuse to not do anything. And it's pretty, not much beats looking out upon a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow.

(2) Children.
Mine, that is. Four year olds are amazing and mine are quite definitely more amazing than any others. I say that with no bias whatsoever.

There is a little girl, who doesn't belong to me, who is just as amazing as my boys, but she is a very special little girl indeed.

I worked out today what it is that I do with my time when I'm not specifically doing anything else. I puzzled for a long time as to why I didn't seem to do anything that I used to do. What I do is this: watch, and interact with, but mostly watch my children. They are quite the most entertaining pastime ever. Every new thing they do is astounding and it is quite astonishing that this is still true after 4 years. I expect I'll watch them in amazement all their lives. "Yes, that man there, walking along the road all by himself. That's my son you know."

(3) My car, my phone, nifty gadgets.

Materialistic? Why yes.
Recently I was very close to exchanging my car for a VW. Until I drove the VW for a week and then returned to my own car. It is very, very good to drive. The gearbox is not something I've ever noted before but it turns out to be excellent. We are friends once more, we travel through the snow together and we enjoy it, both.

At some point in every day I stop to think about the brilliance of my phone. It's an iPhone you know. You knew? Goodness! It is quite wonderful, it is a part of me now. I don't care what owning it makes me, I love it. Truly. And yes, I want an iMac because then iTunes will work properly, yes, I know and I know, but I would love that truly too. And I would be all the things that would make me. And I wouldn't care in the slightest.

My car and my phone are now united by means of an itrip. Simple little gadget means the music on my beloved plays through the radio in my quite-loved. This brings me a level of joy that is quite ridiculous.

And that will suffice for a trio of blessings. Snow, children, possessions. Happiness.






- Posted without any claim to factual correctness or interest to any living person. Brought to you by the combined wonder of BlogPress and iPhone.

Twitterific

To be entirely boring: Twitter and iPhone. Tune out now.

Twitter is amusing me lots. For some reason everyone I asked to join, did. Maybe because I didn't ask everyone-I-know and asked the ones that possibly might be interested in my updates. Just the one missing, who will be returning to normal life tomorrow and will hopefully comply.

Richard Herring joined hours after I suggested he did on his guestbook. This may be complete coincidence, but if it is true, then how marvellous is the internet? To be able to say "hey you, this is great, try it" to someone who has no idea who you are, someone who you'd like to read about, and they do. Not because it's you*, obviously, but because it's a cool thing.

*delusional daydreaming aside

There's all manner of other stalkerworthy people on there and I am reminded of how amusing Chris Addison (the second most attractive man on the planet), Dave Gorman and Stephen Fry (the patron saint of Twitter) actually are. And then I added people I don't actually normally think about, like Phillip Schofield (who's very interesting and I had nothing against him, just didn't think about him) and Jonathan Ross (who I may delete, he's a bit annoying, which is always is, slight error of judgement). Ben Goldacre (new hero) has interesting little snippets.

It's a bit strange, like blogging lite. But it's sort of the opposite of stalking, those who wish to be stalked provide the information so the stalkers can legitimately read it. Which is a little weird really. But hey. Look at me getting all giddy over some celebrity tweeting. They're not ACTUALLY talking to me, I'm just reading it.

Of course there's the lovely thing of updates from friends. Always nice. And more important than the above starry eyed awe would indicate.

Come play. Click the link over there and join the mindlessness. There is no point, that's the point.

Daily iPhone love: I got Tweetie for it. I did. I'm so sad. I paid £1.79 for it, but oh it is nice. And while I was throwing money at Apple, I downloaded Yahtzee Adventures. I love Yahtzee. I actually wore out the section of the screen on my Palm where the "roll again" button was (this is why you want a screen that functions like the iPhone or G1, not like the B****b***y or any other W****** mobile device). It's ace. I could play Yahtzee forever and this has a bizarro adventure mode. Best game ever (that doesn't feature Mario).

Gratuitous picture of Chris Addison:

NB Still reading Bye Bye Balham by Richard Herring. It's great. Buy it from here . While you're at it, buy this from Amazon, it's fabulous.

iObsess

There are precisely 3 reasons for not owning an iPhone:

1) you can't afford it and/or don't want/need a phone.
2) you are a developer and want to write apps.
3) you want a decent camera phone as the primary use

For those to whom 3) applies, get a camera. The very best camera phone is not as good a camera as a camera.

Any other reason, for those that spend an equivalent amount of money on a phone that isn't an iPhone, you have denied yourself the sheer pleasure of owning one. I have not met a single iPhone owner who doesn't think it's the best thing since sliced jalapeños.

It's the screen. The screen sets it apart from anything else.

I love...

1) My toilet

I didn't realise how damned lovely it was to have the full use of a toilet in one's house until I spent nearly 24 hours with a useless toilet and a bucket to flush with. A new toilet was installed today and oh boy is it nice to have. Sadly it took them rather too many hours with the water off and by the end I was in desperate need of a coffee and a pee. I was not amused by the suggestion that I could in fact solve both requirements in one unpleasant go.


2) Richard Herring

I'm not bonkers. Or I'm no more bonkers than he is anyway, which is *distinctly* unbonkersy. He got an iPhone and he gets it! He does! He realises the love! Read here to see that I am not alone in my belovedness of the bestest ever gadgetry.
He blogged about sleep one time at virtually the exact same moment I did. And he pondered about getting old the day after my birthday. So to show my utmost respect for things that are most definitely not complete coincidence, I'm putting him second to a toilet in a list of meaninglessness.


3) Books

I have read 3 books in a little over a week. Oh yes. Finished completely. Three separate books. All chick lit, all from the charts in Tesco. I've started another 3 but they went the way of most books (into the later pile) on account of needing a brain. No offence to any of the books I did read, but sometimes (the week after exams) you really need to switch off and into easy reading. Three different books, but strangely all came down to the same point: appreciate what you've got.

So I have been. For all that is crap, if I changed anything at all in my past, I might not be here now with two amazing children and I wouldn't change them for any of the things I think I need.

And now I'm going to read a book entitled Bye Bye Balham, which I may read sitting on the toilet just to celebrate this list.

***I know I should be talking about Obama, Tony Hart, Patrick McGoohan and other things that matter, but I'd be a bit "what they said" which makes for unnecessity. So all noted, all thought about, words not forthcoming through no fault of their own.***

iLove

I love my phone. True love, soulmate style. Really, it has all the things I look for* in a soulmate: pedantry, good books and music, fondness of being and ability to be online at all times, shiny good looks and the ability to be in my pocket at all times. If it was a better photographer I think I'd leave my husband for it, but hey, noone's perfect.

Anyway, I'm beside myself (right there, look) with joy today because I got a software upgrade yesterday which has solved some of my (minor) gripes and made it even more wonderful. I now have a Google button on the browser and I can download podcasts direct from iTunes. Wowee. The 2Gb of 38 podcasts are downloading themselves as I type, with no need for a PC at all! Wowee!
AND my Sony Fontopia headphones have been returned to their rightful owner, me, and all sounds perfect again. No more hiss from enforced use of the lesser Creative ones. Ear buds are amazing. I have storymakers on repeat and Cars on, and I can hear Mssrs C and H.

The iPhone is the greatest thing I have ever owned. I love it more than I loved my Volvo (RIP) and I have no idea how I functioned without it. Oh, the fickleness of looking at Other Phones. This is the phone I was born to own. Oh yes.


*possibly hyperbole and indeed, a complete lie.

Confused

Confused part 1. The phone.

Today I met a very nice little phone going by the name of G1. It's far more aesthetic than anticipated and has the following benefits over the iPhone:
1) it's cheaper
2) it's got a qwerty keypad
3) it's got a trackball
4) it's not Apple and thus not subject to Apple blocks on software apps

but it does look like this:In the iPhone's defence, it has the following benefits:
1) it has BBC i-player
2) it has twice the battery life of the G1
3) I have never put an application on any phone. I am not a geek, I just like gadgets. It also runs google stuff anyway, you just have to install them.
4) it has a multitouch interface. This is apparently very good. The onscreen keypad is astonishing so pretty much negates the qwerty keypad thing.

it looks like this:


Right, it would seem straightforward. One of these phones makes me want to cartwheel through the fallen leaves, shouting out to the world that I love it, the other makes me want to sit quietly on the parkbench, muttering that it has a trackball. However, I have a very poor track record in making decisions and it is nearly always the wrong one. Aesthetics are not everything, nor is shininess.

I want someone to tell me the right answer before I go bonkers and bore everyone else to tears.

Experimentation

Angel of Joy

You're joyous, caring and full of life! You love bright colours and have a mischievous nature, you can also cause a bit of trouble if you wanted to but reframe and enjoy the littlest things in life! You're one of the brightest coloured people ever, and everyone loves you, you bring brightness into people's lives and you're beautiful, whether it's mentally, physically or both!






That's me. How nice. How uncannily accurate from a Facebook application, the writers must be psychic. They can't, sadly, spell; I had a pedantic attack at it.

I, incidentally, despite being mostly cynical about everything, like the whole idea of angels. It's all very nice.

Experimentation here as to sensibleness with red wine consumption. Red wine and I are not usually very compatible, it makes me all, well, stupid. It also makes me think I love, actually love, would marry sort of love, pretty much everyone.

Amount of wine consumed: 1 large glass

Back later...

Later:

Hmm. This is not right, I have had one bottle of rather potent red wine, the first drink I have had other than a sniff of red wine last week, in FOUR MONTHS. I should be far, far more incapable. Instead I'm just feeling a bit blue and a bit of an oaf for alienating just about everyone.

Don't cry. Not pretty.

For no good reason, I just watched Halloween, which (unsurprisingly) I have not seen before. Whatalotofcack. Then I started to watch Jonathan Ross that was presumably repeated from last night, saw Daniel Craig (who has a very nice name) being all sort of dad-ly and despaired of my normal self. And the clocks went back and I didn't see the cool clock do it. Grr. It's ace, it winds forward 11 hours and I wasn't looking.

So, focus on current object of lust: the phone. Further investigations reveal that probably I do need an iPhone after all (and have now discovered how to write it). What I want it to do, it does best. Namely maps, email and iPlayer (is that spelt like that as well?).

They have them in both O2 shops and Carphone Warehouse. Sitting there. Out to touch. Noone thinks you're bonkers if you stroke it. Amazing. Quite lovely in fact. I typed a bit, it's astounding. How can a tiny little onscreen keyboard pick up your typing so well? Admittedly, I'm a bit handy with my thumbs due to being a bit gadget happy, but still, this was incredible. And maps, cool as. All superlative-d out now. Nokia have slightly confused the issue by promising the 5800, which looks pretty swish and Nokia-y. But I think i-player will swing it, and so the iPhone it will probably be. Although neither shop remotely tried to sell it to me today, which was disturbing. Decision re: camera - get a camera instead of the phone thing, the best camera phone is still crap compared to a camera. So birthday demandations consist of "that camera please", which I appear to be paying for myself, but hey, it's the thought that counts.

God, I bore myself sometimes. What are you doing here?

Amount of wine consumed: 1 bottle. It was very nice.

Watching and not buying

I'm still watching the Wire, so I've not watched much else this week; watching TV for more than an hour is unlikely in any day. It's really good, I'm torn between being annoyed that I completely missed it, and happy that I've got it all to watch. I'm a bit intrigued as to where they go with it for 5 series but am determined to just watch and not find out. I did look at the website to find out who everyone was, because they didn't use names much. They have now (by episode 8, watched last night) fleshed out more of the characters and I'm getting the hang of who's who outwith the main characters.

I've still to watch Buzzcocks and Merlin from last week and there's about 100 things to catch up on the PVR, but never mind. New old stuff abounds.

Spooks series 7 not only starts on Monday 27th, but episode 2 is on Tuesday 28th (then going to a regular time of 9pm Mondays for the rest of the series). Marvellous. New Radio Times confirms that it is actually on in Scotland on the right days, but it does give away a rather large spoiler by crediting Jo in the cast list. Unless there's a flashback, but still. Richard Armitage is looking splendidly brooding in shots of the introductory scenes of Lucas North in Moscow but I'm still not happy at the impending demise of Adam. I-player will apparently reshow each episode for the duration of the series, which is good in case of memory/hardware failure.

Yes, spoilers. If the Radio Times can do it, I can do it.

Oh, I won £1,000,000 this morning. Virtual money, sadly, but it was still nice. Virtual purchases required, not sure where to buy the virtual house or which virtual car to have.

Phones. Phones. Phones. I've gone off the i-phone (fickle as a fickler) based on the fact that it has a 2 mega pixel camera, that it doesn't do bluetooth properly, that is can't send photomessages and the fact that Steve Jobs is a tool. As far as I can tell the i-phone is primarily an ipod, and I have little use for an ipod just now given that I'm usually in the house and can use the hifi or tv to listen/watch as required.

The situation as it stands is thus:

I hate my current phone, a Samsung G600. It has a 5MP camera, which is rubbish. This is the thing I probably use my phone for most. I hate having mediocre pictures, capturing the moment is all very well but it would be nice if the capture actually looked like the moment. The other thing I do a lot with my phone is text, and it's rubbish at that as well. I previously had a Samsung D600 which was really good, until it just died one day and it didn't have the same text nonsense. I can't add most symbols, I can't figure it out for the life of me, it keeps losing words from the custom dictionary - I have added "Morag" and "xxx" a million times, saying as how I obviously use those a fair bit. Oh and it's WAY too quiet, I virtually never hear when I get a text message, so it has to live in my pocket and is all scratched as a result.

I liked my previous phone, a Nokia N73, I only changed that to get shot of 3, cretins that they are. I like Nokia, I liked the OS and the active desktop, I liked the 3.2MP camera, I liked the way it was to use and text on. I didn't like what it looked like, but I could live with that.

My Palm has been written off, due to complete ineptitude by PC World, and I have a refund. So I'm looking to replace a PDA as well. I used that for wifi/email/quick lookup of Yell etc, and as an organiser for addresses and appointments, as well as storage for photos and as an MP3 player on the rare occasion I needed one. So, a phone has to be good at all that, and no, phones usually aren't good address holders. The i-phone is a really good PDA, does have wifi and so goes back up with a chance.

The Nokia N95 pretty much meets the bill, being a Nokia as well is a huge plus. But there's new phones out that have 8MP cameras and that is a huge huge factor. I've got the money back for my Palm and I'm slightly reluctant to losethe money in the shopping fund (although I should) because I Never Get Stuff and I would dearly love to just be flippantly extravagant for the sake of it.

Contenders are therefore:

Apple i-phone 3G
Nokia N95 8Gb, the current forerunner but BORING
LG KC910, also known as Renoir, which is a stonking phone
Samsung Omnia, very nice, but a bit scared off Samsung

Opinions, pls??

Desiring

Want. Want. Want. So beautiful, shiny and sleek and black and nifty and lovely. And, oh, so very desirable. I desire. I really desire, toe curlingly so.

Just look. The probable new love of my life. Look. It's beautiful. A thing to behold.
Hunger, dribble, drool, dleugh...

Want it: GPS
Hate it: 2MP camera
Want it: Wifi
Hate it: Vista compatibility doubtful
Want it:Unlimited data and email
Hate it: no picture messaging
Want it: it's gorgeous
Want it
Want it want it want it.

Notes:

1 Not wanton extravagance, insurance replacement and £86 less than what it replaces, so costs me less than nothing. I'm also going to wait till my existing contract runs out in December. Not get it tomorrow like I want to. Honest.

2 Last time I felt like this was towards my car, before I got to know it. I am very shallow and swayed by good looks.

3 I'm not actually all that materialistic. Just in the face of extreme desirability. This is the embodiment of all I have ever wanted in a gadget and I can afford it. I can. It's going to be mine. It's saving me money you know. Sensible really.

gadgets

So I'm sitting here drooling over the iphone. Yes I need one. For the ten phonecalls a year I make and the 10 miles travel I do these days. Yes, I need one. It's just... necessary.

But wait...

No camera? What???????????????

One day, there will actually be a device that does everything and does it well. I think the Nokia N95 is just about there. We'll see.