Pah

Conversation with kids first thing Sunday morning:
Sleepy parent: so, who wants to go to the cinema?
Marginally elder child: nah
Marginally younger child: I don't want to see Up!
SP: no, no, it's a different film. Come and see *pats bed*

Children assemble round phone. Sleepy parent puts on trailer for Alvin/Chipmunk/Squeakquel.
MEC: that's rubbish
MYC: that's rubbish *leaves room*
Sleepy parent puts on trailer for Astroboy.
MEC: that boy's flying! *watches intently till end* can we look at YouTube now?
SP: so do you want to go and see Astroboy at the cinema?
MEC: is Astroboy the flying boy?
SP: yes
MEC: nah

Sleepy parent admits defeat.

Later on, new approach...

Wearied parent: So. Who fancies going out for something to eat?
Both children: nah
WP: or we could get a DVD
MYC: I don't want to see Up!
WP: no, we could get Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs?
BC: nah.

So. Nothing was done. Mario was played.

Lack of enthusiasm for films is blamed entirely on Up. On their sole outing (to date) trip to the cinema, stupid parent decided on Up, being Disney/Pixar and all, great for 3 year olds, as they were at the time. Younger twin was scared by the main character and the dogs, older twin was just bored.

Yes. Pixar are great. Toy Story and Cars are fantastic. They have less good films, but they're generally impressive.

Disney have a duty (ahem) to make kids' films. For kids. Actual kids of a young age, not overage kids.

Wall-e is not-that-great for kids. Fairly complicated story, not enough kid stuff to keep them entertained. But it's ok, kids quite enjoy it, even though it's leaning towards the adults. Disney/Pixar films, of which Toy Story is the best examples, usually have the brilliance to work on two levels, one for children and one for adults, with some elements that appeal to both.

Or they used to. Wall-e misses out the kids' element but scrapes through on the appeals to both bit. Scores fantastically on adults' appeal: homages for film geeks, stunning visuals, humour, good story.

Up fails entirely to appeal to kids, small kids anyway. Story, complex. Woman dies at start, breaking husband's heart. Great!! Action, sort of scary, not a lot. Humour: nope, unless you're 8. Cute characters: one. We liked Doug. The others were pretty poor. There's not much for adults and I really think there's a finite audience age. Of 8-12.

Sometimes it seems there should be another classification of "probably won't appeal to littleys", maybe an 8. PG would do I guess. But Wall-e and Up, and the likes of Hannah Montana and High School Musical, are rated U. On the - fair enough - basis that they contain nothing objectionable. (Which is patently not true for HSM but that's another matter). But can't there be an indication that it may not be objectionable but possibly still isn't ideal for small children? Yes, parental discretion should be able to decide - no, we won't go and see High School Musical 77 - but that discretion tends to assume that animated offerings from Disney/Pixar would be ok.

Idiotic parent chose - based on reviews - to see Up, rather than Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. Big mistake. The cinema is now a despised thing.

And goes to show:

Reviewers review on the wrong criteria. Five star films should always be enjoyable. Also, Cars is wayyyyy superior to Wall-e. Wayyy. Oh, what do reviewers know? More on that another time...

And Disney? Please think of the kids rather than the Oscars.

Although, to be fair, the Princess and the Frog seems suitably saccharine, but I think allegiance here has permanently shifted to Dreamworks.

Pah!