Plan for Christmas Day (terrestial telly only, and based on the Scotland times, so it might be out for regular viewers):
Actively avoid TV until 15.00. At 15.00, disconnect the eletricity just in case the TV turns itself on. Possibly sneakily watch Channel 4 just in case it's another Ali G.
15.10:
Watch: A Shark Tale on BBC1. Maybe read a book as well.
or, if you must, watch Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Askakabanana on ITV1.
16.30:
Watch: Wallace and Gromit: Curse of the Were Rabbit on BBC1. Reminisce about the shorts.
(possibly record The Truth about Carols at 17.00 on BBC2. It might be interesting)
18.00:
Watch: Dr Who on BBC1. You have to. It's not Christmas otherwise and it's always got vital plotlines.
19.00: Now this is a tricky one. You have a 5 channel choice:
Watch: Blackadder's Christmas Carol on BBC2.
Avoid: Strictly Come Dancing on BBC1.
Avoid: Coronation Street on ITV1
Avoid: Channel 4 nicely sidestepping Christmas altogether, although if you have a particular aversion to Blackadder (for which you probably need medical attention), The Nativity Decoded at 19.30 might be interesting.
Avoid: Memoirs of a Geisha on Five. Yawn. Remove Five from your channel list in case you return to it at all that evening.
20.00: Probably a good time to eat. Disconnect electricity (candlelight is nice) and block up ears in case of hearing someone else's TV.
Avoid: Eastenders on BBC1. Christmas doesn't have to be spoilt.
Avoid: Dad's Army.
Avoid: Dancing on Ice at Christmas on ITV1. Each of those words makes the others worse. Dancing: not great. On ice: marvellous, even less skill. At Christmas: with added tinsel.
Watch: Shrek the Halls on BBC3 if you missed it on Christmas Eve.
20.30:
Watch: Wallace and Gromit: A Matter of Loaf and Death on BBC1. A new short! Hurrah for Christmas!
Avoid: anything else. Come on! Wallace and Gromit!
21.00: disconnect electricity again. Have pudding.
Avoid: Eastenders on BBC1. You won't care, having had the sense to avoid the first one.
21.30:
Watch: The Royle Family on BBC1. Oh yeah! A new one! Hurrah!
22.30:
Watch: Blackadder Rides Again on BBC1. It's Blackadder! Nothing else matters.
After that, read a book. Eat mince pies. Get an early night.
Tuesday, 23 December 2008
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2 comments:
Both the Queen & I are slightly disappointed that you are not going to do your duty and watch Her Royal Highness's message.
Don't expect any sort of mention in the New Year's Honours List, that's all that one can say!
yours with a lack of sincerity
Prince Phillip
Yo Phil!
You should be used to the disappointment by now, and I think you and I both know I'll be doing rather well. Don't we now ;-)
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