Hair management

MEMO
To: all hair
From: Follicle Management
Date: 0 years

Hair required over entire person. Primary hair will be allocated to the head, with slight hair to most of the rest of the body. Primary hair can grow indefinitely, full array of haircolours available; slight hair only allowed to grow to a fixed length (see guidelines 76c) and allocated no colour.

MEMO
To: Head Hair
From: Follicle Management
Date: approximately 13 years.

Take no action, prepare for potential attack/neglect.

MEMO
To: Body Hair (female)
From: Follicle Management
Date: approx 13 years.

Take up residence, or increase growth, with added colour in the armpit, genital and lower leg area.

MEMO
To: Body Hair (male)
From: Follicle Management
Date: approximately 13 years.
Most areas now to begin hair growth. Concentrate mostly on dark hairs on legs. Ensure initial growth, especially on the facial area, is sparse and slow.

MEMO
To: Head Hair (male)
From: Follicle Management
Date: Approximately 25 years
Due to lack of satisfactory performance, most of you are to be laid off over the next few years. There may be potential for retraining as Back or Chest Hair.

MEMO
To: Head Hair (female)
From: Follicle Management
Date: approximately 25 years.
Some of you have raised concerns as to working conditions and the right to remain your rightful colour. We regret to inform you that the files containing the record of your rightful colour have been destroyed. Any hairs wishing to revert can always choose to have all colours removed and become white. Many have already made this choice and we urge you to follow suit.

MEMO
To: Body Hair (All parts, male, female)
From: Follicle Management
Date: approximately 35 years
Please increase production with immediate effect. Spread as fast as possible into previously uncharted zones. Increase length. Colour now optional for those operating on a male.

MEMO
To: Head Hair (male)
From: Follicle Management
Date: approximately 50 years
Cease production with immediate effect.

MEMO
To: Head Hair (female)
From: Follicle Management
Date: approximately 50 years
Abandon all colour. Change texture sufficiently to resist previously applied colours. Send request to Facial Skin to adjust tone accordingly.

MEMO
To: All Hair
From: Admin
Date: approximately 70-80 years.
On behalf of the Follicle Management Team we regret to inform you that you are now under no management or control. We suggest you grow what you can, where you can, when you can. Those located on females may find the face a good place to settle. Those on a male should stick to the chest and back. Colour is not available and despite numerous requests, the only texture available is course.

Kind regards and many thanks for staying.