Practical Parenting

Hmm, having just had a conversation with a first time mother-to-be about parenting (through which I was hugely know it all, I can't seem to help assuming the world authority position on birth and early parenting because, like, I've done it, you know), I've been thinking about the whole being-a-parent thing.

It doesn't change your life unduly. It does away with:

lie ins
spontaneous activities
social life

But, other than the first of those, the things that change aren't much of a loss if you are over 25, and hey, you can go to bed early (ha ha ha).

What does change is your perspective. For one, the planet suddenly seems to matter a lot more, and the whole question of religion is entirely different when you have people to explain such things as Christmas to. I don't feel comfortable with saying "well, there's this story about a guy called Jesus, much like Aslan, or as you're not old enough to have read that yet, we'll go with Poppy Cat, and if he did exist he wasn't actually born in December at all and probably what we're celebrating is the ancient celebration for the sun..." but I'm not sure how I feel about saying "well, there's this thing called God and he had a son that was born on this day". Because I don't believe that. Or maybe I believe in Jesus but not that he was the son of God. I don't know. What do I tell them?

Ahem. Got carried away there. You think about things differently. Shoes for example, really really don't matter. In my case I've taken this a LEETLE too far and often appear in public looking like a bag lady. I need to remind myself that, yes, hairwashing is necessary often, and that I should probably brush it too.

But the biggest change is in your perspective of parenting. All those smug thoughts that you had, about what sort of parent you would be, disappear as soon as they learn a bit of wilfulness. Yet, you still look upon other parents with disdain, except you have the added smugness of "my children would NEVER do that", that was purely imagined before. You do learn that the greatest thing you can have as a parent (other than a full time nanny; by my side, not in my place) is not utmost respect for and from your offspring, it is the patience to wait till they've finished their paddy and for the signal that there is an opening for interruption and diversion. Despite what you thought before, there is NOTHING you can do to stop it prior to this, aside from picking the child up and running away as fast as possible. Or staying in all the time. There's obvious exceptions with parents that really should have been sterilised a long time before conceiving, but now when I see the situations that used to make me think "God, I would NEVER have children behaving like that", I either feel empathy, or fear that this exact scenario may happen to me too some day.

I have little monsters. The problem: there are two of them and one of me, and they are two and a half. They both want my attention. All the time. They are adorable, very clever, and a lot of the time in public they make me swell with pride. Like when they say "thank you very much" or count things correctly, or point out interesting things. But there are times when I am standing with one child (occasionally two, but usually the "brother having a tantrum" show is compelling) lying down next to me, kicking and screaming and me saying things along the lines of "if you get up now I will give you some Smarties". I know how that looks, and I know what I would have thought BC (before children). It's not the same as I'd think now.