Confusedest

Confused part 3: Spirituality

In the light of incurable confusion and the inability to decide or decipher, the time has come to travel backwards to 1996 and to the wonder that is JiM.

“Suffer the little children to wear party hats and eat jelly.”
On their birthdays anyway.

You must separate your head from your heart. JiM loves all your heart. He likes a bit of head too.

If you gotta go, go now. JiM says:
“There's no point in bottling it all up.”

When you enter JiM's house, leave your preconceptions at the door. But don't buy a new CD and then leave it down the pub. That's just stupid.

JiM says:
“There is nothing on the telly.”

If you choose to be a spectator at the match of life, it'll probably end up being a nil-all draw. If you choose to stay at home instead, you'll probably miss a blinder of a game.

If we follow JiM, we are going on a long journey. Does anyone want to go to the toilet before we set off?

JiM says:
“All we need is love. But if you've got royalties to a song like “All you need is love” to fall back on, that's pretty handy too.”

As concerns honouring thy mother and thy father, JiM says:
“That's ok in theory. But it depends on what type of folks you have.”

“Try and act nice, because maybe they'll lend you money. Never forget that parents charge less interest than most high street banks”

Watch the commercials. Some of them are better than the programmes.

Walk on the sunny side of the street. It doesn't do any harm to top up your tan.

JiM says: be at peace with yourself. And be lucky, my son.

JiM says:
“You must listen to the loony on the bus. Remember everything that the loony says. Then tell your friends and you'll have a good laugh about it later.”

JiM says:
“What is it about leisure centres anyway?”
People playing badminton in tracksuits tend to depress him.

Know where you are coming from. Then you've got a fair chance of finding your way back there. (Always remember that late-night taxi drivers are the sons of the anti-JiM)

If you are refused admission to any place, just remember there is always a place for you on the left hand side of JiM. Form an orderly queue though.

Remember that the sun is still shining on even the cloudiest days. But if it's really nasty out, why not stay in and watch a film. 'Groundhog Day' is one of JiM's favourites.

JiM stands for Jim in Me. And the second JiM stands for that as well, ad infinitum.

Some people are looking through the keyhole of life. Some people are inside the bedroom. Which person would you rather be?

JiM commands us all: “Let us spray”

When JiM sat down at the piano, everybody laughed. They're still laughing now.

Copyright The Limonian Trust 1996.

JiM, I salute you. You, on the other hand, are confusing the hell out of me.