The Good, the Bad and the Chutney

The Good: Things what made me smile today

• My phone wants to auto correct "darth vader" to "earth cadet";
• Conversations about absolutely nothing: always nice;
• Overheard conversation with my son: "It's a screwdriver". "No, it's a truck driver";
• Other son on being questioned what had happened upon collision with his brother, "Ollie happened".
• The word "sanctimonious". It's a great word, and is always followed by some insulting term: bastard, git, swine etc. In fact, "sanctimonious swine" could in fact be the greatest combination of words ever.
  
• David Tennant is to be in a programme about Einstein. David Tennant! Einstein!
  

The Bad: Things what did not make me smile today

• The book I am reading has left the building. Nowhere to be seen;
• I am incapable of writing an email in the time it takes for dinner to cook without burning;
• Everyone's written a blimming book. Except me. Statistically, I am illiterate;
• Small fonts. I don't like specs, ok, and until my eyes are bad enough for contacts, I'd like nice proper sized fonts.
• I have no God any more. I don't like Strictly. I have no mind, I need guidance!
  

The Chutney: Things what were chutney related today

• Possibly misleading, there was no chutney today.