Shocking result: Fifers in Glenrothes vote Labour in by-election.
This is the first time that anyone in Fife has voted Labour since the last time they voted.
Local voter Chavlene McTavish commented "Aye, ah've ayeways voted Labour, ma dad voted Labour an' ma man votes Labour. Wha' wiz this wan fir anyway?"
Proof that mocking the weather does not pay
Revealing the intention of the Cayman Islands weather to retire soon has resulted in a backlash from neighbouring weathers.
Children do not need bringing up
Recent evidence suggests that it is sufficient just to watch and they'll bring themselves up. Test twins are today potty training themselves. They were asked to comment and noted that the block was blue.
Official site of influential new organisation
The DDD are to establish themselves with online headquarters sometime. The location of this will be exclusively revealed on this blog shortly after that time, anticipated to be in the future, near or far, one or the other.
Bacon style quorn is nicer than bacon
Extensive testing at the Breakfast Institute resulted in this amazing discovery in the late hours of this morning. Other members of the Insitute are mutinizing at what they consider blasphemy.
Typing sloppiness now undetectable
The iPhone continues to be the greatest thing since sliced cauliflower: it allows you type wild typos and miss out all apostrophes, and it autocorrects unless you (easily) tell it not to. After years of frustration, finally something that realises if someone types "tonorrow" they probably meant "tomorrow", and if they type "didnt" they obviously want the apostrophe in. The pedant often referred to as the Grammar Nazi (not affiliated in any way with any other Nazis) is immensely pleased by this.
Friday, 7 November 2008
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5 comments:
Ahhhh! Potty training! I remember that day, not that long ago, when I felt such pride I thought my heart was going to burst on hearing those wonderful words "Daddy! I've done a poo all by myself!"
I hope you've reached your eureka moment. There will be accidents, we still get them, but hopefully you've turned that corner and your contribution to the used nappy mountain will soon cease.
Has there been another foreign election? I thought the tall skinny black dude won? Well he won the election that actually matters. Some of us don't give a toss what happens north of the M4 badlands.
So in one week you have lined the pockets of the anti christ Steve Jobs and eaten Quorn! I'm thinking Stepford Wives. Do you know what Quorn is made of? It is made from soil mould. Not so appetising now is it.
We're having eureka moments left right and centre, I'm just assisting with disposal and wipage.
I have no issue with funghi, being a mushroom myself. I've also been a fan of Quorn and Cauldron for a long time regardless of carnivorous activities other times, and astonishingly, I did know what it's made from.
If however you had been successful in putting me off Quorn then I would have even more limited foodstuffs and I would probably die of starvation. Clearly that was your intention so I shall have you done for attempted manslaughter.
Being a Stepford wife sounds quite appealing, I find independent thought quite a hindrance sometimes.
Predictive text and autocorrection will turn your brain into mush. Features like this erode away the minds ability to process thought, to carry out simple tasks, to assimilate information and ultimately destroy all motor neurone function until you are as intelligent as a piece of Quorn. You have a lovely brain in your head, use it!
Manslaughter you say? Damn! I thought you were all woman.
luckily I keep my brain in shape by having a pun for all occasions, like Callanetics for the mind. Puneurological Strengthening.
I type too fast to avoid errors and it leaves more time for facetiousness if I don't have to return to correct.
Yes, manslaughter, I give short thrift to all that hu-person guff.
AND there will never be brain rottation as long as other people make mistakes to complain about. Moaneurological exercises also valuable.
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