Why?

Awww

Why does it always rain on fireworks?
Is it because they lied when they were 17?

Why would the ratings of Buzzcocks be going down? It's fantastic even without the magnificence of St Bill. I love Simon Amstell, he's both adorable and incredibly good at inoffensively taking the complete piss out of people. He nearly made Danny Dyer cry, which is something I would pay good money to see. As is the sight of Jack Dee doing a very David Brent-esque dance thing for the intros round. I forget which episode was on when, I think I'm up to date, live TV eludes me, but sometime recently they also had the very lovely Chris Addison on. I'm guessing by the fact that it's on in the Thursday 9pm slot that it's not for the axe but I have palpitations at the thought of no more Buzzcocks.

Why does my hair look like it sparkles when my 41 year old brother and 68 year old mother aren't going grey? Why do people think it's ok to say it looks like highlights? Why would I get white highlights on almost black hair? Why do I care? Why do I spend vast amounts of time and effort (and a small amount of money as I'm too tight to get the hairdresser to do it properly - it costs me enough for a cut never mind anything posh) making it look not quite like it did when I was 17? Does that make it rain on fireworks?

Why am I awake?

Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near? You too can have the hits of the Carpenters on repeat in your head. I'm on the top of the world looking down on creation and I guess I've always known I'd say goodbye to love. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. God, even my subconscious has terrible taste in music, I've got Magic fm on the brain. There must be a treatment for that?

Why are all the first lines of Shakespeare the well known ones? What's wrong with the second and subsequent lines?

"If music be the food of love play on"

"In sooth, I know not why I am so sad"

Other ones, including the vastly overquoted: "Who's there", that I remembered earlier but don't now, possibly because of the time.

I hated Shakespeare at school, and I've recently discovered that he was a genius rather than a bore. I love the fact that if he didn't have a word that fitted, he made one up. His knowledge was pretty astounding for the time; even if inaccurate, to know of the existence of all the things he wrote about was damned impressive.

Why the over analysis though? People do it to lyrics too. Any time I've written a song/poem, which has only ever been done as parody but are *obviously* of equal standard, the words chosen are the ones that fit the rhythm and that have the right sound. I remember Fran from Travis saying that the line "pillars into butter" started off as "caterpillars into butterflies" but it didn't fit, so they chopped it. Yet there's been loads of speculation as to the meaning behind pillars and butter. There is none. Michael Stipe said something similar about taking random words out to make them fit. And Brandon Flowers said on the dancer thing that it was about Hunter S Thompson's comment about a nation of dancers, which he liked and used, but he didn't really think about what it meant, he just liked it. It fitted the song. That's what lyrics do. Yeah, there's usually a meaning to the song, but the stuff that doesn't make sense isn't usually deep and meaningful, it just fits.

Oh, that was going to be a moan about Saturday nights and being old and stuff, but I remembered I'm actually going out next Saturday. As I've failed to make it to Manchester in far too long, the residents of Manchester (not all of them) are obligingly coming up to go out in Glasgow which is positively marvellous.

I have 14 minutes remaining. I think I'd better stop writing.

Adieu.