Phil-oafs-ophy, or, the philosopy of an oaf

I've moved from contrite to hurt, which isn't very pretty.

I do wonder when people assume that I am being nasty if my attempts to be nice to people fail miserably and actually I'm constantly nasty. It happens more frequently than I'm comfortable with, so maybe I'm really a nasty person.

Hmm. You'd think I could enjoy it more if I was actually nasty.

I believe that people who experience a certain type of treatment at the hands of different people must have something within them that makes those people respond like that. The complaint "men are all the same" should probably read "men always treat me in the same manner", suggesting that the complainer acts the same themselves and invokes the same responses. People who are repeatedly victims must in some way display their tendency to be victims in order for the perpetrator to identify them. And those that fail to engage with their friends maybe shouldn't be surprised when the friends think them uncaring and treat them accordingly.

[that's me not engaging by the way, just for the record]

All a little depressing, taking responsibility for the bad stuff all to yourself. Even if you could identify what it was, to act differently would be to change the person you are, possibly even to be fake. Or is fake so bad? Making like you're happy when you're not invariably lifts your mood; donning a suit of confidence makes you feel more confident. If we act like the person we want to be, can we become that person? We can easily become the negative person we fear we might be, the positive way round needs a little more work.

I don't think it's ever pleasant to actually see yourself through others' eyes, stripping you bare of your delusions. But maybe we need to sometimes, just to try and get it all a little more right.