Why you are your own best friend

You always know what you're talking about.
You always remember your birthday, know exactly what you'd like and appreciate anything you get yourself.
If you watch a film with yourself, you always see the one you'd like to see.
You always know when you're being funny, and always see the joke.
You are always the first person to know when something happens to you.
You can't keep any secrets from yourself, but if it's important to you to keep something quiet, you'll never say a word.
You're always there, no matter what.
You always understand the justification for being kind of crap.
You are always interested in what you have to say.
You are brutally honest about your appearance.

and like all good friends...

sometimes you could really strangle yourself.